gaaay

(12:41:59 AM) me: god I know I'm a nerd but
(12:42:06 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: nerd butt!
(12:42:09 AM) me: the pictures of the guys that show up for me on okcupid are so nerdy it hurts
(12:44:14 AM) me: why am I on this fucking site?
(12:44:18 AM) me: I don't want to date anyone
(12:44:28 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:44:32 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: good question?
(12:44:38 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: there's no one datable on that site anyway
(12:44:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: except us
(12:45:16 AM) me: for real
(12:45:23 AM) me: and I have my doubts about me
(12:45:35 AM) me: I should find all straight women
(12:45:41 AM) me: and try to turn them
(12:46:23 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:46:26 AM) me: I found a contortionist chick
(12:47:06 AM) me: "I'm 22 years old. I like Cinderella and contortion. If I could do anything I would want to be a contortionist for a living but alas that isn't in my cards therefore psychology it is! I am very relaxed and read a lot."
(12:47:34 AM) me: maybe she could give me free therapy
(12:47:38 AM) me: "I am a first year clinical counseling psych student. I want to work with the chronically mentally ill (read crazy people) because I think they're fun. I graduate next May and hope to get a job soon after that eep!"
(12:47:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: You should reply "You'd have to be relaxed to be a contortionist! Also, do you read while you contort?"
(12:47:46 AM) me: haha
(12:48:17 AM) me: we could watch old musicals together
(12:48:20 AM) me: this woman is perfect for me
(12:48:29 AM) me: and we could read medical naratives together
(12:48:38 AM) me: plus she's just asking to be turned
(12:48:41 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:48:55 AM) me: number 4 on her 6 things she could never do without are birkinstocks
(12:49:11 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "dear [insert name], have you ever considered lesbianism? Neither had I until recently. Maybe we can enjoy trying it out for the first time together!"
(12:49:18 AM) me: haha
(12:49:39 AM) me: she watches cheerleeding on ESPN
(12:49:40 AM) me: totally gay
(12:49:43 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:49:53 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: unless she wants to BE a cheerleader
(12:50:08 AM) me: nah it'd be up there with "i want to be a contortionist" if she wanted to be one
(12:50:10 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: the only other reason is to jerk it to mini-skirt wearing gymnist high school girls
(12:50:17 AM) me: exactly
(12:50:22 AM) me: she's a pedophile like me too
(12:50:24 AM) me: it all works
(12:50:29 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:50:35 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: totally made for eachother
(12:51:25 AM) me: for real
(12:51:35 AM) me: now all I gotta do is start being a lesbian
(12:51:44 AM) me: maybe your lesbian friends could give me tips
(12:52:01 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha Step 1> you have to like vagina
(12:52:43 AM) me: do they have any sub steps
(12:52:47 AM) me: on how to like vagina?

Ryan is right

(10:58:03 AM) me: even more annoyed with my dad, but whatever
(10:59:51 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: doh why?
(10:59:57 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: what's going on now?
(11:00:17 AM) me: well I decided to stay to accept the delivery
(11:00:24 AM) me: but then he decided he's all going to come over
(11:00:40 AM) me: which I don't want because I'm working on Josh's 6 month anniversary card
(11:01:22 AM) me: I mean I don
(11:01:39 AM) me: 't want the delivery dudes to see stuff lying around about hamsters eating their children and goat penises
(11:01:43 AM) me: but I sure don't want my dad to
(11:03:09 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(11:03:31 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: maybe it'll give your dad a wake up call that he should stay away when you tell him to
(11:03:38 AM) me: hahaha
(11:04:59 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: to really hammer that home you should be masturbating to pictures of hamsters eating their children
(11:05:21 AM) me: hahah
(11:05:30 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: speaking of
(11:05:36 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: my friend stacy had a hamster years ago
(11:05:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and she named it Ryan
(11:05:43 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but it turned out to be a girl
(11:05:51 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and it would always eat all of its babies
(11:05:58 AM) me: it's just like you!
(11:06:24 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha it so is
(11:06:38 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I remember talking to her and she's like "Ryan you ate all your babies again!"
(11:06:46 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and I kept saying "free renewable food source!"