me: ooh that pasta roni is not sitting well at all

suibrom: uh oh

me: bathroom time!

suibrom: that's what you get for putting the san fancisco treat inside you

me: I've never had gay dude sex

OH you mean the rice a roni

suibrom: haha
also possibly the buttsex
With a guy named Roni

me: haha well I used to call my boyfriend Joshyroni but we never had buttsex
he and I were all about the eyeball hole

suibrom: it is the best, second only to the ear

me: true that

he wouldn't do it in the ear though
said it was "dirty"
said he didn't want to "damage my hearing"
whatever

suibrom: laaaame
ear wax is the best lube

me: yeah
that's why I'm with 007 now
rabbits are all about ears

suibrom: he'll put it in your ear?
haa
as long as you return the favor and put it in his

me: of course

several convers in one post

me: I've always really enjoyed fabric softner smell. Like that was the only thing I liked about college, my dorm floor always smelled like fabric softner.
it was not worth the 40 grand
I do not like fabric softener that much

suibrom: haha
that's some expensive fabric softener

me: haha for real

suibrom: it better like.. go down on you while it does your laundry

me: haha who says it doesn't?
I mean it's really my hand, but the fabric softner oil on the sheet is great lube
and it makes me smell awesome down there

suibrom: haha

me: and softer, actually


me: There's an agent who works for us named Bill Pancake

suibrom: haha awesomest name ever

me: Yeah I've known about it a long time and think it's awesome
but the other day I found out we have an agent named Butterworth, and I want to like, get a petition going saying they have to go into business together

suibrom: how does your family make that change though? "Honey, I'm tired of being the Nexttowatersons. You know what I love? Fucking PANCAKES. That's our new last name. You're now Brunhilda Pancake.


me: what exactly does "doughty" mean? I think I have an idea, but I want to make sure that it's right to never want to read a book where the heroine is described on the back cover as "doughty"

suibrom: haha it means the bitch talks back and gotsta be slapped

me: okay that's what I thought

suibrom: like.. brave or

me: and it does make me want to slap them

suibrom: fearless?

me: oh well thtat's okay

suibrom: I guess is a good word fo it

me: I thought it meant like "spunky"

suibrom: I think it kind of does in that it's like "I'm gonna be brave and stand up no matter what"

which could definitely be "spunk"

me: anyone who you have to be told is spunky isn't really spunky

suibrom: and the only spunk I want in my romance novels, should be coming out of the male characters

me: haha it wasn't a romance novel, it was a fantasy novel

suibrom: same thing!

me: but yeah I was like, "doughty"? fuck that bitch

suibrom: haha

maybe it said "doughy" as in she's fat but they wanted to be nice about it

me: haha no there was a T. If it WAS doughy, I'd want to read it more, not less. I like a character I can identify with
that's why I have so many pillsbury cookbooks

suibrom: hah
I'd read a pillsbury fantasy book
put THAT in your belly button and "hee hee" about it

me: haha
that is a good phrase
maybe there's a novelization of the ghostbuster movie
that might technically be a pillsbury fantasy book
oh wait that's not the dough boy
that's stay puft marshmallow man

suibrom: I bet there are stay-puffed marshmallow man erotic fan fictions

me: same dif
haha I bet that you are their main demographic

suibrom: "OH GOD I GOT YOUR MARSHMALLOW CREAM ALL OVER ME"

me: "get me all sticky, marshmallow man!"
oh god, I'm going to come on your face!
then you see Staypuft's angry face

suibrom: hahah
http://www.delaneynetwork.com/archives/stay-puft-angry.jpg

me: hahah exactly
that's what I saw in my head when I said that
wow the conversation pretty much comes to a halt after something like that

suibrom: yeah, really.. where do you go from there?

me: no where
it can't really get funnier from there

suibrom: except maybe that that's the same face when getting it in the butt

me: but yet nothing else seems to be worth discussing after that
HAHA

me: and I can't make fortune cookies worth a shit anyway
suibrom: make them fortune balls
me: you're a fortune ball
suibrom: I know. rub them,I will tell your fortune. YOUR HANDS WILL SMELL OF BALL SWEAT IN THE NEAR FUTURE
me: no thank you, my fortune will be "you just rubbed some guy's balls"
suibrom: hahah
me: hahah you should become a fortune teller "let me gaze into my crystal balls" then you look down your pants "your fortune is I think I have chlaymidia"
suibrom: haha "and now so do you"
me: you'd be a great fortune teller
suibrom: I'd wear a big shiny turban and everything
me: oooh shiney. that way you'd be labeled gay instead of a terrorist
suibrom: Madam Chlamydia what, terrorists can't be gay?
me: they can but the gen. public doesn't know that. they think you're after your 45 virgin GIRLS or whatever. not your 45 slutty gay guys
suibrom: haha can they all be firemen?
me: if what you blow up is important enough
suibrom: awesome. That's like the ultimate terrorist. no one suspects the flamboyantly gay hair dresser
me: haha I didn't see it, but wasn't that adam sandler movie Zohar about that/
suibrom: haha yeah probably. it was adam sandler. there was probably a gay terrorist involved somewhere
me: ah, adam sandler. how I used to enjoy your movies. what happened?
suibrom: he stopped being a funny, immature 20-something, and just grew up into a sad, pathetic 40-something
me: wow. you know everthing