Me: I need to find this so I can jerk it hard
Me: "Small posed for a pictorial that appeared in the (cover-dated) April 2006 issue of Playgirl magazine, as part of a humor-themed issue. AdultSwim.com, the official website of the television programming block for which it's named, reported on March 7, 2006, that Small posed wearing "nothing but a Viking helmet". The Playgirl official website further described a "'strategically-placed' Viking helmet", indicating that Small's genitals were not exposed in the pictorial."
Suibrom: haha uh ohs :X
SpankingGnome: I kid
SpankingGnome: if it doesn't even show his genitals what good is it to me?
Suibrom: you can stare at his viking helmet
SpankingGnome: I'm not good enough at photo shop to put someone else's genitals on there
Suibrom: use your mind!
SpankingGnome: my masturbation demands verisimiltude, Ryan
Suibrom: get a hotdog
Suibrom: man I need to rig a way
Suibrom: for every time I ride my motorcycle
Suibrom: thunderhorse is BLASTING from it
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: man
Suibrom: this is like a combination of everything I love
Suibrom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mVMz5D509I
SpankingGnome: haha holy crap
SpankingGnome: it really is
SpankingGnome: you're going to dump brooke for this video
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: I thought about it for a second
Suibrom: but it's missing boobs and vagina
SpankingGnome: haha don't tell her that
SpankingGnome: haha I guess she's safe then
Suibrom: if I could find some way.. for brooke to always be playing thunderhorse.. and for me to see 300 playing in her eyes
Suibrom: it would be perfect
SpankingGnome: hahahah
SpankingGnome: you are a horrible, horrible man
Suibrom: what I'll do
Suibrom: is ride around on my motorcycle that's blasting thunderhorse
Suibrom: with a spear, and a red cape
Suibrom: and brooke on the back
SpankingGnome: haha
SpankingGnome: and a hawk on your shoulder
SpankingGnome: or else you drive with one hand and have your hawk fist just out there
Suibrom: word
Suibrom: haha I could have the hawk on the handlebars
Suibrom: with his own goggles
SpankingGnome: haha
SpankingGnome: the hawk gets it's own sidecar
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: that works too
SpankingGnome: haha you should get the metalocalypse motorcycle
SpankingGnome: with all 5 spots
Suibrom: I WOULD
SpankingGnome: and brooke rides behind you
Suibrom: if I could find it
SpankingGnome: and then like the hawk and I get our own sidecars
Suibrom: I would put you and brooke and mike and chris in it
Suibrom: the hawk would ride on top of my helmet
SpankingGnome: I think the hawk deserves a better place than mike
SpankingGnome: we could just drag mike along behind
Suibrom: well I'm not freakin' putting mike on my helmet
SpankingGnome: hahahahah
SpankingGnome: yeah, this dream would turn into a nightmare right about then
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: do not fuck this up for me
SpankingGnome: haha
Suibrom: that's my happy place right there
Suibrom: riding around in the dethcycle blasting thunderhorse
SpankingGnome: in the 300 outfit
Suibrom: word
Suibrom: I would also jump out at the end like nathan does in the intro
SpankingGnome: and spear the persian king as you do it?
Suibrom: damn straight
SpankingGnome: you would have to take him everywhere with us
SpankingGnome: just so you could stab him when you get there
Suibrom: I'll just go to Iran
Suibrom: and start stabbing persians
SpankingGnome: that's one way to go
SpankingGnome: racist
Suibrom: I wonder if the Iranians are complaining about 300 like the jews complained about The Passion of the Christ
Suibrom: it makes people hate us!
SpankingGnome: haha they don't even care
SpankingGnome: they already hate us
SpankingGnome: so they like it when we hate them
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: on that note
Suibrom: it's time to sleep
SpankingGnome: "good! I'm glad we piss them off!"
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
dead
(9:06:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: are you still jerking it to gay manlove?
(9:06:35 PM) Me: well obviously but I can multitask
(9:08:36 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I can type with one hand!
(9:09:08 PM) Me: yeah but since you're jerking it to the man love
(9:09:11 PM) Me: AND playing a game
(9:09:14 PM) Me: you have no time for me
(9:09:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(9:09:42 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "you jerk it all the time, and neever have time for my needs"
(9:11:35 PM) Me: basically
(9:11:39 PM) Me: I mean sure gay porn is awesome
(9:11:47 PM) Me: but I am too
(9:12:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: true
(9:12:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I can't jerk it to you
(9:12:48 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I mean I can, but it's kind of mixed feelings.. because it makes me sad to picture you dead
(9:06:35 PM) Me: well obviously but I can multitask
(9:08:36 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I can type with one hand!
(9:09:08 PM) Me: yeah but since you're jerking it to the man love
(9:09:11 PM) Me: AND playing a game
(9:09:14 PM) Me: you have no time for me
(9:09:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(9:09:42 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "you jerk it all the time, and neever have time for my needs"
(9:11:35 PM) Me: basically
(9:11:39 PM) Me: I mean sure gay porn is awesome
(9:11:47 PM) Me: but I am too
(9:12:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: true
(9:12:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I can't jerk it to you
(9:12:48 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I mean I can, but it's kind of mixed feelings.. because it makes me sad to picture you dead
slutty wolverine
(6:00:24 PM) Me: I went around looking for a halloween costume
(6:00:27 PM) Me: and didn't find what I wanted
(6:01:15 PM) JeffTMBG: as long as you leave the apartment it counts as productive in my book. what kind of costume are you looking for.
(6:02:59 PM) Me: I want to be Wolverine
(6:03:04 PM) Me: but I can't find it anywhere
(6:04:36 PM) JeffTMBG: Wolverine is not a very popular character. Everyone is all about Beast these days.
(6:05:19 PM) Me: haha there's no beast either
(6:05:22 PM) Me: no x men at all
(6:05:29 PM) Me: just spider man
(6:05:48 PM) Me: not even any decent batman
(6:06:13 PM) JeffTMBG: If it hasn't had a movie in the past year, it doesn't exist.
(6:06:32 PM) Me: apparently
(6:06:43 PM) Me: it's all freakin pirates of the carribean stuff
(6:06:48 PM) Me: poop
(6:06:51 PM) Me: fake women
(6:06:59 PM) Me: and slutty outfits
(6:11:00 PM) JeffTMBG: You could probably augment the slutty outfits into a decent slutty Wolverine costume.
(6:11:48 PM) Me: haha.... how do you go from slutty barmaid, slutty pirate wench, or slutty geisha to slutty wolverine?
(6:13:20 PM) JeffTMBG: There's gotta be a way.
(6:14:03 PM) JeffTMBG: Once you have the claws and the arm hair, you can just say Wolverine got a job as a barmaid to work his way through college.
(6:14:10 PM) Me: hahaha
(6:14:34 PM) Me: then pirates attacked and he was forced to be their wench
(6:14:42 PM) Me: and then they sailed to japan and left him there
(6:15:36 PM) JeffTMBG: You laugh,but that is exactly the plot to the upcoming Wolverine movie.
(6:17:16 PM) JeffTMBG: In fact, the year the movie is released, you'll be able to buy a pre-made slutty Wolverine barmaid costume.
(6:00:27 PM) Me: and didn't find what I wanted
(6:01:15 PM) JeffTMBG: as long as you leave the apartment it counts as productive in my book. what kind of costume are you looking for.
(6:02:59 PM) Me: I want to be Wolverine
(6:03:04 PM) Me: but I can't find it anywhere
(6:04:36 PM) JeffTMBG: Wolverine is not a very popular character. Everyone is all about Beast these days.
(6:05:19 PM) Me: haha there's no beast either
(6:05:22 PM) Me: no x men at all
(6:05:29 PM) Me: just spider man
(6:05:48 PM) Me: not even any decent batman
(6:06:13 PM) JeffTMBG: If it hasn't had a movie in the past year, it doesn't exist.
(6:06:32 PM) Me: apparently
(6:06:43 PM) Me: it's all freakin pirates of the carribean stuff
(6:06:48 PM) Me: poop
(6:06:51 PM) Me: fake women
(6:06:59 PM) Me: and slutty outfits
(6:11:00 PM) JeffTMBG: You could probably augment the slutty outfits into a decent slutty Wolverine costume.
(6:11:48 PM) Me: haha.... how do you go from slutty barmaid, slutty pirate wench, or slutty geisha to slutty wolverine?
(6:13:20 PM) JeffTMBG: There's gotta be a way.
(6:14:03 PM) JeffTMBG: Once you have the claws and the arm hair, you can just say Wolverine got a job as a barmaid to work his way through college.
(6:14:10 PM) Me: hahaha
(6:14:34 PM) Me: then pirates attacked and he was forced to be their wench
(6:14:42 PM) Me: and then they sailed to japan and left him there
(6:15:36 PM) JeffTMBG: You laugh,but that is exactly the plot to the upcoming Wolverine movie.
(6:17:16 PM) JeffTMBG: In fact, the year the movie is released, you'll be able to buy a pre-made slutty Wolverine barmaid costume.
ass poisoning
(5:12:31 PM) Me: and actually this time I was being sarcastic :P
(5:13:13 PM) Optimus Prime: yes, but I defeated your sarcasm by taking it seriously
(5:13:40 PM) Me: it felt like being a little girl whose parents told her she will never be pretty
(5:14:09 PM) Optimus Prime: oh... btw....
(5:14:12 PM) Me: ?
(5:14:25 PM) Optimus Prime: c'mon, now
(5:14:29 PM) Optimus Prime: think
(5:14:30 PM) Me: you're not my mom!
(5:14:35 PM) Optimus Prime: no...
(5:14:40 PM) Optimus Prime: I was going to say...
(5:14:49 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll never be pretty
(5:14:56 PM) Me: yeah and I was saying you're not my mom
(5:15:03 PM) Me: so it's not my parents telling me I'll never be pretty
(5:15:14 PM) Me: someone who just bangs my mom doesn't count
(5:15:44 PM) Optimus Prime: well, I'm like your dad in that respect
(5:16:12 PM) Me: yeah but you still aren't my real daddy
(5:16:46 PM) Me: your opinion is nothing!
(5:16:58 PM) Optimus Prime: I can still take you over my knee, girl!
(5:17:20 PM) Me: and then I'll have you arrested as a sex offender, creepy step dad
(5:17:31 PM) Me: "she touched my butt"
(5:17:42 PM) Optimus Prime: right
(5:17:46 PM) Optimus Prime: except you're not a minor
(5:18:37 PM) Optimus Prime: I'll tell them you wanted me to spank you
(5:18:41 PM) Me: well then maybe I'll join the army and fight for my country
(5:18:45 PM) Optimus Prime: after all, I do have a nice collection of floggers
(5:19:25 PM) Me: I'm going to coat my ass in poison so whoever touches it dies horribly
(5:19:35 PM) Me: but like in a way so that it doesn't touch me
(5:19:42 PM) Optimus Prime: that's what the floggers are for. someone will pay me extra for that
(5:19:58 PM) Me: I don't want "Phoexx0r died of ass poisoning today" as part of my obit
(5:20:16 PM) Optimus Prime: well, your obit will most likely be ass related
(5:20:42 PM) Me: haha "her colon finally EXPLODED! We knew it would happen sooner or later. Steve won the pool, he picked Oct 13"
(5:20:55 PM) Optimus Prime: exactly
(5:21:57 PM) Me: what day did you bet on? I can make you rich
(5:22:26 PM) Optimus Prime: nah, I don't like dirty money
(5:22:29 PM) Optimus Prime: that would be cheating
(5:23:28 PM) Me: haha you're already betting on the date of an ass death of a close friend
(5:23:37 PM) Me: and now you have scruples?
(5:24:00 PM) Optimus Prime: don't split hairs
(5:24:09 PM) Optimus Prime: you're going to die anyway
(5:24:10 PM) Me: haha
(5:25:05 PM) Me: you're a ray of sunshine
(5:25:30 PM) Optimus Prime: well ... c'mon
(5:25:36 PM) Optimus Prime: we all gotta go sometime
(5:25:43 PM) Optimus Prime: your colon just makes it more interesting
(5:25:45 PM) Optimus Prime: and messy
(5:25:52 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:14 PM) Me: "crap everywhere! this is awesome!"
(5:26:25 PM) Me: Eh, I probably would rather crapstorm than alzheimers
(5:26:27 PM) Me: so I got that going for me
(5:26:41 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll prolly both
(5:26:51 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:57 PM) Me: "how did all this get here?"
(5:27:07 PM) Me: "oh wait now I'm dead"
(5:29:21 PM) Optimus Prime: that's how it happens a lot
(5:29:38 PM) Optimus Prime: mostly alzheimer's patients forget to go to the toilet when they have to crap
(5:29:39 PM) Me: well I guess technically most people have a minor crap storm
(5:29:45 PM) Me: since your bowels escape
(5:29:45 PM) Optimus Prime: you'd prolly die from the smell
(5:29:54 PM) Optimus Prime: evacuate
(5:30:11 PM) Me: quiet, you
(5:30:17 PM) Optimus Prime: they don't actually break free of their own volition
(5:13:13 PM) Optimus Prime: yes, but I defeated your sarcasm by taking it seriously
(5:13:40 PM) Me: it felt like being a little girl whose parents told her she will never be pretty
(5:14:09 PM) Optimus Prime: oh... btw....
(5:14:12 PM) Me: ?
(5:14:25 PM) Optimus Prime: c'mon, now
(5:14:29 PM) Optimus Prime: think
(5:14:30 PM) Me: you're not my mom!
(5:14:35 PM) Optimus Prime: no...
(5:14:40 PM) Optimus Prime: I was going to say...
(5:14:49 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll never be pretty
(5:14:56 PM) Me: yeah and I was saying you're not my mom
(5:15:03 PM) Me: so it's not my parents telling me I'll never be pretty
(5:15:14 PM) Me: someone who just bangs my mom doesn't count
(5:15:44 PM) Optimus Prime: well, I'm like your dad in that respect
(5:16:12 PM) Me: yeah but you still aren't my real daddy
(5:16:46 PM) Me: your opinion is nothing!
(5:16:58 PM) Optimus Prime: I can still take you over my knee, girl!
(5:17:20 PM) Me: and then I'll have you arrested as a sex offender, creepy step dad
(5:17:31 PM) Me: "she touched my butt"
(5:17:42 PM) Optimus Prime: right
(5:17:46 PM) Optimus Prime: except you're not a minor
(5:18:37 PM) Optimus Prime: I'll tell them you wanted me to spank you
(5:18:41 PM) Me: well then maybe I'll join the army and fight for my country
(5:18:45 PM) Optimus Prime: after all, I do have a nice collection of floggers
(5:19:25 PM) Me: I'm going to coat my ass in poison so whoever touches it dies horribly
(5:19:35 PM) Me: but like in a way so that it doesn't touch me
(5:19:42 PM) Optimus Prime: that's what the floggers are for. someone will pay me extra for that
(5:19:58 PM) Me: I don't want "Phoexx0r died of ass poisoning today" as part of my obit
(5:20:16 PM) Optimus Prime: well, your obit will most likely be ass related
(5:20:42 PM) Me: haha "her colon finally EXPLODED! We knew it would happen sooner or later. Steve won the pool, he picked Oct 13"
(5:20:55 PM) Optimus Prime: exactly
(5:21:57 PM) Me: what day did you bet on? I can make you rich
(5:22:26 PM) Optimus Prime: nah, I don't like dirty money
(5:22:29 PM) Optimus Prime: that would be cheating
(5:23:28 PM) Me: haha you're already betting on the date of an ass death of a close friend
(5:23:37 PM) Me: and now you have scruples?
(5:24:00 PM) Optimus Prime: don't split hairs
(5:24:09 PM) Optimus Prime: you're going to die anyway
(5:24:10 PM) Me: haha
(5:25:05 PM) Me: you're a ray of sunshine
(5:25:30 PM) Optimus Prime: well ... c'mon
(5:25:36 PM) Optimus Prime: we all gotta go sometime
(5:25:43 PM) Optimus Prime: your colon just makes it more interesting
(5:25:45 PM) Optimus Prime: and messy
(5:25:52 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:14 PM) Me: "crap everywhere! this is awesome!"
(5:26:25 PM) Me: Eh, I probably would rather crapstorm than alzheimers
(5:26:27 PM) Me: so I got that going for me
(5:26:41 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll prolly both
(5:26:51 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:57 PM) Me: "how did all this get here?"
(5:27:07 PM) Me: "oh wait now I'm dead"
(5:29:21 PM) Optimus Prime: that's how it happens a lot
(5:29:38 PM) Optimus Prime: mostly alzheimer's patients forget to go to the toilet when they have to crap
(5:29:39 PM) Me: well I guess technically most people have a minor crap storm
(5:29:45 PM) Me: since your bowels escape
(5:29:45 PM) Optimus Prime: you'd prolly die from the smell
(5:29:54 PM) Optimus Prime: evacuate
(5:30:11 PM) Me: quiet, you
(5:30:17 PM) Optimus Prime: they don't actually break free of their own volition
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
soul
(11:37:02 PM) Me: jesus saves
(11:37:36 PM) Andi: and earns interest on your soul at 5.5%
(11:37:44 PM) Me: haha
(11:37:46 PM) Me: nice
(11:37:56 PM) Me: by the time I die I'm going to be james brown I'll have so much soul
(11:38:28 PM) Andi: you're not "superbad"
(11:41:26 PM) Me: eh?
(11:45:20 PM) Andi: james brown's huge hit was "i got soul....i'm superbad"
(11:45:48 PM) Me: oh
(11:45:49 PM) Me: sorry
(11:46:02 PM) Me: I'm so soulless I can't even reference james brown properly
(11:46:21 PM) Andi: yr killing me smalls
(11:37:36 PM) Andi: and earns interest on your soul at 5.5%
(11:37:44 PM) Me: haha
(11:37:46 PM) Me: nice
(11:37:56 PM) Me: by the time I die I'm going to be james brown I'll have so much soul
(11:38:28 PM) Andi: you're not "superbad"
(11:41:26 PM) Me: eh?
(11:45:20 PM) Andi: james brown's huge hit was "i got soul....i'm superbad"
(11:45:48 PM) Me: oh
(11:45:49 PM) Me: sorry
(11:46:02 PM) Me: I'm so soulless I can't even reference james brown properly
(11:46:21 PM) Andi: yr killing me smalls
nickelback
Nickelback doesn't promote Satanism. Satan actually promotes them. They're his tool to destroy the record industry. A whiney, successful tool.
(1:14:24 PM) Tina: yeah, it's probably why about 3 songs start playing at once when I go to your page :-p
(1:16:19 PM) Me: uh
(1:16:24 PM) Me: there should only be the 1
(1:16:38 PM) Me: if there's anything else it's an ad or something
(1:16:49 PM) Me: it used to be a Wolf Parade song, now it's an Oppenheimer
(1:16:59 PM) Tina: several start so I have to try to get the page to scroll down so I can click comment quick
(1:17:09 PM) Tina: and I'm torturing people by using Nickelback on my page
(1:17:18 PM) Me: Oh Tina, why would you do t;hat
(1:17:26 PM) Me: you are promoting satanism
(1:17:52 PM) Tina: I actually like them :-p
(1:18:01 PM) Me: well then you actually like satan
(1:18:40 PM) Me: I gave my heart to Vishnu
(1:14:24 PM) Tina: yeah, it's probably why about 3 songs start playing at once when I go to your page :-p
(1:16:19 PM) Me: uh
(1:16:24 PM) Me: there should only be the 1
(1:16:38 PM) Me: if there's anything else it's an ad or something
(1:16:49 PM) Me: it used to be a Wolf Parade song, now it's an Oppenheimer
(1:16:59 PM) Tina: several start so I have to try to get the page to scroll down so I can click comment quick
(1:17:09 PM) Tina: and I'm torturing people by using Nickelback on my page
(1:17:18 PM) Me: Oh Tina, why would you do t;hat
(1:17:26 PM) Me: you are promoting satanism
(1:17:52 PM) Tina: I actually like them :-p
(1:18:01 PM) Me: well then you actually like satan
(1:18:40 PM) Me: I gave my heart to Vishnu
well....
It's just a cover, I really was laughing at him thinking I want to watch his jujitsu group.
(1:07:29 PM) Mike: i know this might not super interest you, but my jujitsu group just got a website online
(1:07:30 PM) Mike: http://asujujitsu.org/
(1:07:51 PM) Mike: there is also a youtube link at the bottom with some videos
(1:08:48 PM) Me: hahaha
(1:09:11 PM) Mike: ?
(1:10:43 PM) Me: I wonder if I could register the domain www.fuckamidgetintheasswhileheorshedoeslinesofcocaineoffyourmotherstitswhileshegivesoraltoalargeblacktransvestitenunsingingselectionsfromthesoundofmusic.com
(1:11:21 PM) Mike: maybe!
(1:11:28 PM) Mike: also: you have wierd thoughts!
(1:07:29 PM) Mike: i know this might not super interest you, but my jujitsu group just got a website online
(1:07:30 PM) Mike: http://asujujitsu.org/
(1:07:51 PM) Mike: there is also a youtube link at the bottom with some videos
(1:08:48 PM) Me: hahaha
(1:09:11 PM) Mike: ?
(1:10:43 PM) Me: I wonder if I could register the domain www.fuckamidgetintheasswhileheorshedoeslinesofcocaineoffyourmotherstitswhileshegivesoraltoalargeblacktransvestitenunsingingselectionsfromthesoundofmusic.com
(1:11:21 PM) Mike: maybe!
(1:11:28 PM) Mike: also: you have wierd thoughts!
weed
(11:52:45 AM) Me: I think I have seen that stuff before
(11:52:59 AM) Me: I had just labeled it "random weed" in my head
(11:53:19 AM) Andi: now it can be "random weed that makes andi miserable"
(11:53:37 AM) Me: awww
(11:53:47 AM) Me: if I see any golden rod around I will slit its throat!
(11:53:52 AM) Me: I will fuck that bitch up!
(11:54:01 AM) Andi: columbian necktie for old goldenrod
(11:54:06 AM) Me: oh yes
(11:54:15 AM) Me: then I'll take a shit on it for laughs
(11:54:18 AM) Me: I mean it's already dead
(11:54:24 AM) Me: but pooping on it is still fun for me
(11:54:39 AM) Andi: by all means, go for it
(11:54:56 AM) Me: maybe poo is an antihistimine no one's tried before
(11:55:13 AM) Andi: i'll stick to the pinks if you don't mind
(11:55:21 AM) Me: haha I don't mind at all
(11:55:44 AM) Me: I'm glad you're not my boss anymore, I just realized it is probably pretty horrible that I basically just offered you my poo
(11:55:55 AM) Andi: lol
(11:55:57 AM) Andi: no worries
(11:52:59 AM) Me: I had just labeled it "random weed" in my head
(11:53:19 AM) Andi: now it can be "random weed that makes andi miserable"
(11:53:37 AM) Me: awww
(11:53:47 AM) Me: if I see any golden rod around I will slit its throat!
(11:53:52 AM) Me: I will fuck that bitch up!
(11:54:01 AM) Andi: columbian necktie for old goldenrod
(11:54:06 AM) Me: oh yes
(11:54:15 AM) Me: then I'll take a shit on it for laughs
(11:54:18 AM) Me: I mean it's already dead
(11:54:24 AM) Me: but pooping on it is still fun for me
(11:54:39 AM) Andi: by all means, go for it
(11:54:56 AM) Me: maybe poo is an antihistimine no one's tried before
(11:55:13 AM) Andi: i'll stick to the pinks if you don't mind
(11:55:21 AM) Me: haha I don't mind at all
(11:55:44 AM) Me: I'm glad you're not my boss anymore, I just realized it is probably pretty horrible that I basically just offered you my poo
(11:55:55 AM) Andi: lol
(11:55:57 AM) Andi: no worries
Friday, September 7, 2007
post secret
Opt: eh
Opt: postsecret's played itself out with me
Opt: after shelving all those books
Me: I get tired of all the suicide ones
Me: and the ones about sexual abuse
Me: I feel bad for the people
Me: but it's like the 900th one of the same
Opt: damn people who got raped and want to die
Me: hahaha
Opt: I know :)
Me: I rape people because it makes me want to liiiiiiiive!
Opt: LOL
Opt: postsecret's played itself out with me
Opt: after shelving all those books
Me: I get tired of all the suicide ones
Me: and the ones about sexual abuse
Me: I feel bad for the people
Me: but it's like the 900th one of the same
Opt: damn people who got raped and want to die
Me: hahaha
Opt: I know :)
Me: I rape people because it makes me want to liiiiiiiive!
Opt: LOL
retardation stairs
(12:17:25 AM) Opt: I'm just wound up from seeing The Poster Children
(12:17:31 AM) Me: what's that?
(12:17:35 AM) Opt: band
(12:17:51 AM) Opt: and it was awesome
(12:17:55 AM) Me: yay awesome
(12:18:06 AM) Opt: I'm having the rythym guitarist have my babies
(12:18:20 AM) Me: haha
(12:18:23 AM) Me: can I be godmother?
(12:18:27 AM) Opt: absolutely
(12:18:38 AM) Opt: and you can eat it if it's retarded
(12:18:48 AM) Me: YES!
(12:19:10 AM) Me: *makes plans to throw the rhythm guitarist down some stairs during the pregnancy*
(12:20:31 AM) Opt: well, make sure he doesn't die... because then we'll both be disappointed
(12:20:56 AM) Me: well of course not
(12:21:04 AM) Me: I'm not going to knock him down MY scary stairs
(12:21:09 AM) Me: more like the stairs at your house
(12:21:15 AM) Opt: oh, ok
(12:21:23 AM) Opt: yeah, that will do the trick
(12:21:51 AM) Me: those stairs have "retardation but not death" written all over them
(12:17:31 AM) Me: what's that?
(12:17:35 AM) Opt: band
(12:17:51 AM) Opt: and it was awesome
(12:17:55 AM) Me: yay awesome
(12:18:06 AM) Opt: I'm having the rythym guitarist have my babies
(12:18:20 AM) Me: haha
(12:18:23 AM) Me: can I be godmother?
(12:18:27 AM) Opt: absolutely
(12:18:38 AM) Opt: and you can eat it if it's retarded
(12:18:48 AM) Me: YES!
(12:19:10 AM) Me: *makes plans to throw the rhythm guitarist down some stairs during the pregnancy*
(12:20:31 AM) Opt: well, make sure he doesn't die... because then we'll both be disappointed
(12:20:56 AM) Me: well of course not
(12:21:04 AM) Me: I'm not going to knock him down MY scary stairs
(12:21:09 AM) Me: more like the stairs at your house
(12:21:15 AM) Opt: oh, ok
(12:21:23 AM) Opt: yeah, that will do the trick
(12:21:51 AM) Me: those stairs have "retardation but not death" written all over them
the falconer
(11:43:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'm going to go up there this weekend, and go to a falconry meeting saturday
(11:43:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: so hopefully that goes well
(11:43:34 PM) Me: heee heee
(11:43:39 PM) Me: I'm proud of you
(11:43:45 PM) Me: but I still find the falconry amusing
(11:44:07 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha you're proud?
(11:44:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: or you think I'm a huge dork
(11:44:26 PM) Me: I think it's nice that you stuck with it
(11:44:30 PM) Me: and weren't just BSing about it
(11:44:31 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah
(11:44:49 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: it's going to be a lot of work, so I think it will be cool to meet up with some people that already do it
(11:44:52 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and get some advice and stuff
(11:44:56 PM) Me: I don't know how "proud of you" slipped out. That was kind of creepily mothery
(11:45:05 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(11:45:06 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: it's okay
(11:45:16 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they're having like a bbq type thing this weekend
(11:45:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and invited me
(11:46:19 PM) Me: awww :)
(11:46:22 PM) Me: make sure you're not eating bird
(11:46:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(11:46:26 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: okay
(11:46:33 PM) Me: oh, maybe they'll serve you rabbits or something
(11:46:36 PM) Me: caught by their birds
(9/7/2007 12:08:36 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:08:40 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that would be.. interesting
(12:08:46 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they did say they'd take care of food
(12:08:52 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and I'd just need to bring drinks or dessert or something
(11:43:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: so hopefully that goes well
(11:43:34 PM) Me: heee heee
(11:43:39 PM) Me: I'm proud of you
(11:43:45 PM) Me: but I still find the falconry amusing
(11:44:07 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha you're proud?
(11:44:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: or you think I'm a huge dork
(11:44:26 PM) Me: I think it's nice that you stuck with it
(11:44:30 PM) Me: and weren't just BSing about it
(11:44:31 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah
(11:44:49 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: it's going to be a lot of work, so I think it will be cool to meet up with some people that already do it
(11:44:52 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and get some advice and stuff
(11:44:56 PM) Me: I don't know how "proud of you" slipped out. That was kind of creepily mothery
(11:45:05 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(11:45:06 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: it's okay
(11:45:16 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they're having like a bbq type thing this weekend
(11:45:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and invited me
(11:46:19 PM) Me: awww :)
(11:46:22 PM) Me: make sure you're not eating bird
(11:46:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(11:46:26 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: okay
(11:46:33 PM) Me: oh, maybe they'll serve you rabbits or something
(11:46:36 PM) Me: caught by their birds
(9/7/2007 12:08:36 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:08:40 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that would be.. interesting
(12:08:46 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they did say they'd take care of food
(12:08:52 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and I'd just need to bring drinks or dessert or something
vegemite is frail
(11:03:08 PM) RJ: there are a ton of japanese people in my apartment
(11:05:14 PM) Me: holy crap
(11:05:18 PM) Me: get out of there now
(11:05:25 PM) RJ: it's too late they've blocked the door
(11:05:30 PM) RJ: literally, there's 10 shoes
(11:05:31 PM) Me: I hear japanese people like to eat your face
(11:05:36 PM) Me: nooooooo
(11:05:39 PM) Me: I'll miss you, RJ
(11:05:50 PM) Me: I'll sing "Sucks to be You" at your funeral
(11:05:56 PM) RJ: Tell vegemite i'll miss it
(11:06:01 PM) Me: okay
(11:06:04 PM) RJ: Yeah it does suck to be me
(11:06:05 PM) Me: I'll marry it
(11:06:09 PM) Me: so there's someone to take care of it
(11:06:13 PM) RJ: No, i am wishing well upon vegemite
(11:06:15 PM) RJ: don't marry it
(11:06:18 PM) Me: ouch
(11:06:27 PM) Me: are you saying I won't be good to vegemite?
(11:06:36 PM) Me: how dare you insinuate such a thing
(11:06:38 PM) RJ: i just hate to think what you'd do to it
(11:07:45 PM) RJ: Vegemite is frail, you're an ox in bed
(11:07:49 PM) Me: hahaha
(11:08:01 PM) Me: at least I don't come on its tits like you do
(11:08:06 PM) RJ: lol
(11:08:07 PM) Me: vegemite tells me it hates when you do that
(11:08:17 PM) RJ: yeah i have to sculpt them first
(11:05:14 PM) Me: holy crap
(11:05:18 PM) Me: get out of there now
(11:05:25 PM) RJ: it's too late they've blocked the door
(11:05:30 PM) RJ: literally, there's 10 shoes
(11:05:31 PM) Me: I hear japanese people like to eat your face
(11:05:36 PM) Me: nooooooo
(11:05:39 PM) Me: I'll miss you, RJ
(11:05:50 PM) Me: I'll sing "Sucks to be You" at your funeral
(11:05:56 PM) RJ: Tell vegemite i'll miss it
(11:06:01 PM) Me: okay
(11:06:04 PM) RJ: Yeah it does suck to be me
(11:06:05 PM) Me: I'll marry it
(11:06:09 PM) Me: so there's someone to take care of it
(11:06:13 PM) RJ: No, i am wishing well upon vegemite
(11:06:15 PM) RJ: don't marry it
(11:06:18 PM) Me: ouch
(11:06:27 PM) Me: are you saying I won't be good to vegemite?
(11:06:36 PM) Me: how dare you insinuate such a thing
(11:06:38 PM) RJ: i just hate to think what you'd do to it
(11:07:45 PM) RJ: Vegemite is frail, you're an ox in bed
(11:07:49 PM) Me: hahaha
(11:08:01 PM) Me: at least I don't come on its tits like you do
(11:08:06 PM) RJ: lol
(11:08:07 PM) Me: vegemite tells me it hates when you do that
(11:08:17 PM) RJ: yeah i have to sculpt them first
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
existance
This is regarding a blanket Ryan has that, at one point, had holes in it that made it strongly resemble a demonic face that he swears happened on accident.
phoemeister (12:28:00 AM): whatever, as long as it doesn't have a pink blanket with satan's face on it
Suibrom (12:27:56 AM): I'll let you sleep with the demon blanket
Suibrom (12:27:59 AM): you saw it in vegas
Suibrom (12:28:03 AM): it still wants your soul
phoemeister (12:28:18 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:28:23 AM): I think I messed it up though
Suibrom (12:28:15 AM): haha yeah
Suibrom (12:28:19 AM): I think it's mostly just a big hole now
phoemeister (12:28:33 AM): like didn't it not have a face anymore by the time I was done with it?
Suibrom (12:28:23 AM): a HOLE TO HELL
phoemeister (12:28:39 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:28:43 AM): I didn't fall in
phoemeister (12:28:49 AM): I didn't wreck the face on purpose though
Suibrom (12:28:38 AM): you got lucky
phoemeister (12:28:51 AM): I swear
Suibrom (12:28:39 AM): this time
Suibrom (12:28:44 AM): haha
Suibrom (12:28:49 AM): you totally fucked the face off my demon blanket
phoemeister (12:29:02 AM): when you showed it to me I was like "he's gotta be fucking kidding me"
phoemeister (12:29:05 AM): HAHAHAH
phoemeister (12:29:13 AM): but then I grew to love it
phoemeister (12:29:17 AM): but then it was gone
Suibrom (12:29:13 AM): like with everything else you love
Suibrom (12:29:22 AM): you skullfuck it into non-existence
phoemeister (12:29:41 AM):"you totally fucked the face off my demon blanket" is awesome out of context
Suibrom (12:29:32 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:29:50 AM): psh. You are something I love, and you totally love it
Suibrom (12:29:39 AM): even in context that's awesome
Suibrom (12:29:45 AM): yeah and look at me!
phoemeister (12:30:00 AM): haha yeah
Suibrom (12:29:48 AM): I practically don't exist
phoemeister (12:28:00 AM): whatever, as long as it doesn't have a pink blanket with satan's face on it
Suibrom (12:27:56 AM): I'll let you sleep with the demon blanket
Suibrom (12:27:59 AM): you saw it in vegas
Suibrom (12:28:03 AM): it still wants your soul
phoemeister (12:28:18 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:28:23 AM): I think I messed it up though
Suibrom (12:28:15 AM): haha yeah
Suibrom (12:28:19 AM): I think it's mostly just a big hole now
phoemeister (12:28:33 AM): like didn't it not have a face anymore by the time I was done with it?
Suibrom (12:28:23 AM): a HOLE TO HELL
phoemeister (12:28:39 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:28:43 AM): I didn't fall in
phoemeister (12:28:49 AM): I didn't wreck the face on purpose though
Suibrom (12:28:38 AM): you got lucky
phoemeister (12:28:51 AM): I swear
Suibrom (12:28:39 AM): this time
Suibrom (12:28:44 AM): haha
Suibrom (12:28:49 AM): you totally fucked the face off my demon blanket
phoemeister (12:29:02 AM): when you showed it to me I was like "he's gotta be fucking kidding me"
phoemeister (12:29:05 AM): HAHAHAH
phoemeister (12:29:13 AM): but then I grew to love it
phoemeister (12:29:17 AM): but then it was gone
Suibrom (12:29:13 AM): like with everything else you love
Suibrom (12:29:22 AM): you skullfuck it into non-existence
phoemeister (12:29:41 AM):"you totally fucked the face off my demon blanket" is awesome out of context
Suibrom (12:29:32 AM): haha
phoemeister (12:29:50 AM): psh. You are something I love, and you totally love it
Suibrom (12:29:39 AM): even in context that's awesome
Suibrom (12:29:45 AM): yeah and look at me!
phoemeister (12:30:00 AM): haha yeah
Suibrom (12:29:48 AM): I practically don't exist
Monday, September 3, 2007
nurture vs nature
9:15:31 PM) RJ: so how are you anyway
(9:15:45 PM) Me: I hate my life
(9:15:47 PM) Me: you?
(9:15:59 PM) RJ: I don't hate your life
(9:16:02 PM) RJ: I want to nurture it
(9:15:45 PM) Me: I hate my life
(9:15:47 PM) Me: you?
(9:15:59 PM) RJ: I don't hate your life
(9:16:02 PM) RJ: I want to nurture it
Saturday, September 1, 2007
left eye
Me: wow the people at myheritage.com are mean
Suibrom: how so?
Me: they have this thing where they will scan a photo and tell you which celebrity you most look like
Me: my number one is like liz taylor
Me: and then there are a whole bunch of other women
Me: but I swear to GOD that Placido Domingo is in there
Suibrom: who the heck is placido domingo
Me: he's one of the three tenors
Me: like Pavarotti
Me: so he's this old fat italian MAN
Suibrom: haha
Me: I also have Steve McQueen
Me: I'm like what the fuck?
Me: I love how not only do none of these people look like me, but they don't look like each other either
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: you totally look like steve mcqueen
Me: I have Liz Taylor, Paula Deen, Keira Knightly, Nicole Richie, Placido Domingo, Steve McQueen, and Lisa Left Eye Lopes
Me: thanks
Suibrom: you're welcome!
Me: hm I should try this with another picture
Me: to see if I look like any other opera singers
Me: or 70's action stars
Suibrom: haha
Me: I already did post it on myspace
Me: and you can pick which of your people to include
Me: and I purposefully left Placido and Steve in
Me: and for some reason Left Eye cracks me up too
Me: whoa my second picture got people I totally don't know
Me: and they're like, all asian
Me: including even more men
Me: chinese men
Me: haha
Me: I think I'm going to keep the other one up on myspace though
Me: random chinese men aren't quite as awesome as steve mcqueen and placido domingo
Me: haha third picture:
Me: hillary duff
Me: jena malone
Me: Sharon Osbourne
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: you are meant to be asian
Me: melanie griffith
Me: and the guy from the OC
Me: well what I find hilrious is I have gotten TOTALLY different people all three times
Me: this thing is whack
Suibrom: haha yeah apparently
Me: I wish I could combine all the best people in one
Me: like have Placido Domingo, the guy from the OC, the chinese men, steve mcqueen and sharon osbourne
Me: oh and left eye
Me: because obviously I strongly resemble a spunky black woman
Suibrom: how so?
Me: they have this thing where they will scan a photo and tell you which celebrity you most look like
Me: my number one is like liz taylor
Me: and then there are a whole bunch of other women
Me: but I swear to GOD that Placido Domingo is in there
Suibrom: who the heck is placido domingo
Me: he's one of the three tenors
Me: like Pavarotti
Me: so he's this old fat italian MAN
Suibrom: haha
Me: I also have Steve McQueen
Me: I'm like what the fuck?
Me: I love how not only do none of these people look like me, but they don't look like each other either
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: you totally look like steve mcqueen
Me: I have Liz Taylor, Paula Deen, Keira Knightly, Nicole Richie, Placido Domingo, Steve McQueen, and Lisa Left Eye Lopes
Me: thanks
Suibrom: you're welcome!
Me: hm I should try this with another picture
Me: to see if I look like any other opera singers
Me: or 70's action stars
Suibrom: haha
Me: I already did post it on myspace
Me: and you can pick which of your people to include
Me: and I purposefully left Placido and Steve in
Me: and for some reason Left Eye cracks me up too
Me: whoa my second picture got people I totally don't know
Me: and they're like, all asian
Me: including even more men
Me: chinese men
Me: haha
Me: I think I'm going to keep the other one up on myspace though
Me: random chinese men aren't quite as awesome as steve mcqueen and placido domingo
Me: haha third picture:
Me: hillary duff
Me: jena malone
Me: Sharon Osbourne
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: you are meant to be asian
Me: melanie griffith
Me: and the guy from the OC
Me: well what I find hilrious is I have gotten TOTALLY different people all three times
Me: this thing is whack
Suibrom: haha yeah apparently
Me: I wish I could combine all the best people in one
Me: like have Placido Domingo, the guy from the OC, the chinese men, steve mcqueen and sharon osbourne
Me: oh and left eye
Me: because obviously I strongly resemble a spunky black woman
racism, yay!
Suibrom: I am
Suibrom: I'm trying to find pants
Suibrom: that are suitable for the outside world
Me: OH MY GOD
Me: where are they?
Me: WHAT WILL WE DO
Me: I'd celebrate, personally
Suibrom: haha
Me: no pants is a perfect world
Suibrom: I can't go to dinner sporting nothing but my tighty whities
Me: haha who says?
Me: your mom?
Me: Tell her I won't fuck her in the ass anymore if she yells at you for that
Me: that'll change her tune
Suibrom: I doubt they'd give me a burrito at the mexican food place if I went in there like that
Suibrom: I mean, it's already strike two for being white and being white
Me: what mexican place are you going to?
Me: hahaa
Me: all the mexican places I go to like my pants free policy
Suibrom: yeah you're a woman
Me: hahaha
Suibrom: mexicans usually prefer vagina to wang
Me: even girl mexicans?
Suibrom: yes
Me: wow
Me: how come mexicans exist?
Me: if none of them like wang?
Me: how do they reproduce?
Suibrom: they take the wang to keep la raza alive
Me: haha
Me: is la raza the race?
Suibrom: yeah
Me: oh
Me: yeah they'd doubly hate your white man wang
Me: for being a wang AND for destroying their race
Suibrom: and yeah you're right though, mexican women love the wang
Suibrom: that's why they always have like a million kids
Me: Ryan, I do value your racist opinion :P
Suibrom: how is it racist if it's true?
Me: every mexican woman has like a million kids?
Suibrom: averaged out, yes
Me: haha
Suibrom: some have more than others
Me: the old maids are averaged out by the double million women?
Suibrom: yes
Me: good to know
Me: that even if I don't have kids
Me: there will be a mexican kid to replace me when I die
Suibrom: I'm trying to find pants
Suibrom: that are suitable for the outside world
Me: OH MY GOD
Me: where are they?
Me: WHAT WILL WE DO
Me: I'd celebrate, personally
Suibrom: haha
Me: no pants is a perfect world
Suibrom: I can't go to dinner sporting nothing but my tighty whities
Me: haha who says?
Me: your mom?
Me: Tell her I won't fuck her in the ass anymore if she yells at you for that
Me: that'll change her tune
Suibrom: I doubt they'd give me a burrito at the mexican food place if I went in there like that
Suibrom: I mean, it's already strike two for being white and being white
Me: what mexican place are you going to?
Me: hahaa
Me: all the mexican places I go to like my pants free policy
Suibrom: yeah you're a woman
Me: hahaha
Suibrom: mexicans usually prefer vagina to wang
Me: even girl mexicans?
Suibrom: yes
Me: wow
Me: how come mexicans exist?
Me: if none of them like wang?
Me: how do they reproduce?
Suibrom: they take the wang to keep la raza alive
Me: haha
Me: is la raza the race?
Suibrom: yeah
Me: oh
Me: yeah they'd doubly hate your white man wang
Me: for being a wang AND for destroying their race
Suibrom: and yeah you're right though, mexican women love the wang
Suibrom: that's why they always have like a million kids
Me: Ryan, I do value your racist opinion :P
Suibrom: how is it racist if it's true?
Me: every mexican woman has like a million kids?
Suibrom: averaged out, yes
Me: haha
Suibrom: some have more than others
Me: the old maids are averaged out by the double million women?
Suibrom: yes
Me: good to know
Me: that even if I don't have kids
Me: there will be a mexican kid to replace me when I die
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