fuck that guy

Sista: fuck that guy
Me: haha
Me: well I was trying
Me: but apparently he's just not that into me
Sista: there is a book for that
Me: haha, really??
Sista: check it out
Me: My problems are solved!

awkwardness

Me: haha, what if it turns out I went to high school with this guy?
Sista: awesome
Sista: just the kind of akwardness i would love reading about in your blog

warm for his form

Phoemeister: speaking of guys I am meant to be with
Phoemeister: The Man Who Saved Christmas totally stopped in yesterday
Sista: did you make out with him?
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: no
Phoemeister: He's actually kind of old, I hadn't remembered that
Phoemeister: plus I think if he were in love with me he might've stopped in more in the last two months
Sista: i like older guys
Phoemeister: BUT, he did actually go up to me and mention the incident, so now I know what he looks like
Phoemeister: I don't really
Sista: i like most guys
Phoemeister: maybe you should hook up with the man who saved christmas
Sista: is he attractive?
Sista: he is obviously hillarious
Phoemeister: Well... okay. I can't be picky. I can't be 100% sure that if The Man Who Saved Christmas asked me to make out with him, I would say no. I'm just saying, seeing him did not really make me warm for his form.
Phoemeister: Average looks, I guess.
Sista: did you say warm for his form?
Phoemeister: I said warm for his form!
Sista: dear god
Sista: Phoe, this might be the reason you've never been active with men... "i am very warm for your form" actually that would probably work.. it sounds overly sexual...... i take back what i said use that line
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: okay

fall out boy punch inthe face

Mulva: lo-fi that's not got bad sound quality, since i learned that irks you after the moldy peaches fiasco
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I love how you call it a fiasco
Mulva: the dance was ruined
Phoemeister: like I got really pissed and was like, "WE CAN"T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE IF YOU SEND ME SONGS WITH BAD SOUND QUALITY"
Mulva: It came on and you broke up with me and left the dance floor and everyone gasped
Phoemeister: and then the floor opened up and you fell in the pool
Mulva: shit, i remember that
Phoemeister: and you almost killed yourself
Phoemeister: but an angel showed you what effect your life had on others
Mulva: And I sang...look at me I'm Mulva, lousy without Phoe
Phoemeister: and I pointed and laughed
Phoemeister: and you were like, "HEY, AT LEAST I DON'T LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY"
Mulva: And then the dinosaurs came......
Phoemeister: they enslaved the human race
Phoemeister: so that we could cobble dinosaur shoes for them
Mulva: and they played fall out boy as we slaved in their quarries
Mulva: because a misguided dinosaur studied the wrong specimen (you) and determined we must like them


Sista: heh i need quote for my myspace page
Phoemeister: cool

you can try ____ summer home, some are home some are not if you want to go with another gem from my family
Phoemeister: or You're talkin' like a sausage
Phoemeister: I can also supply you with Fall Out Boy quotes
Sista: go forward please
Phoemeister: lol, okay. Well starting off with song titles, there's "Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends" "I slept with someone in fall out boy, and all I got was this stupid song written about me"
Phoemeister: I shall leaf through the actual lyrics for you too
Phoemeister: because that's just the kind of friend I am

*pause*

Phoemeister: man, i can't find any good ones
Phoemeister: fall out boy sucks
Sista: hahha




Phoemeister: I know you usually talk about them when you want to blow off steam, and that they're not actually that horrible, but I seriously hate your inlaws
Phoemeister: If I ever saw them in person I would punch them in the face
Tina: they are very quirky people, yes
Phoemeister: I'm quirky. I'm a picky eater! I don't want to punch me in the face!
Tina: I hope not, that sorta thing can get you committed

later

Tina: I need to go to bed... people have been real jackasses lately about when I get up
Phoemeister: I WILL PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE FOR YOU ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK

condoms

Sista: i turned on the easy switch one day
Sista: best decision i've ever made
Sista: i just don't put out
Sista: which i guess makes me a tease
Sista: oh well
prommhair: tease is better than herpes
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I think that should be the new ad for safe sex
prommhair: i should make ads for safe sex!
Phoemeister: lol
Sista: Itchin is not Bitchin! don't get the warts!
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: I love that one
Sista: People don't clap for the clap
Sista: ? eh eh?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: you're cracking me up
Sista: i've found my future Phoemeister
Sista: i am going to rid the world of stds one slogan at a time
Phoemeister: you will!
Phoemeister: put it on when you get it on
Sista: THERE YOU
Sista: GO
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I like yours better
Sista: tag team advertising!
Sista: That Stick could be ICK... use a provalactic
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: That thang could protect your wang
Sista: Hands down your best work
Phoemeister: thanks
Phoemeister: I think
Sista: i have a feeling this will go on your blog
Phoemeister: that would be a correct feeling, my friend

licking the choking poster

Sista: YOU LICKED MY POSTER?
Sista: my choking poster in the back?
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: yes, I did
Phoemeister: it was accidently though
Phoemeister: why, by the way, do you have a choking poster at your desk?
Sista: i needed decoration


Sui: haha
Sui: how do you accidentally lick something?
Phoemeister: don't you love how I try to turn the blame?
Sui: haha yeah
Sui: you're quite good at that
Sui: "I"m not the freak, you're the freak!"
Phoemeister: well, I was pretending to make out with the poster, because the pictures of CPR got me a little amorous
Phoemeister: and my tongue got a little out of control
Phoemeister: and actually hit the poster
Phoemeister: true story.