so many Ryans

It makes me sad that I missed my window for hanging out with this guy.

ryanl: oh snap!
Me: snap indeed.
ryanl: it's ohn
Me: I will bury you!
ryanl: Ohn like donkey poon.
Me: I hope you don't mind a space next to a dead hooker
Me: haha donkey poon? what?
ryanl: have you ever seen donkey poon turn on? it's a sight to behold
ryanl: gods weep
Me: no I have not but that says a whole lot about you
ryanl: now THAT was a lol
ryanl: hmm. maybe I should quit while i'm behind
Me: just like how you get behind donkey poon?
ryanl: hah. damn, i'm just digging my self in here.
Me: just like when you're behind donkey poon?
ryanl: in three months someones going to come up to me and start an intervention
ryanl: to stop my donkey poon habits, which have become legendary in the heartland of america
Me: don't underestimate yourself
Me: I think it's all of America
ryanl: you gossiping hussy!
Me: but... but... I was proud of you
Me: "the guy I was a jerk to because I didn't think he was english, I'm so proud of him! He fucks donkeys now!"
ryanl: im sorry. i misunderestimated you
ryanl: lol
ryanl: god damn
ryanl: sweet jesus, i really hope that someone approaches me soon about my donkey fucking habits. I'll be scrambling to protect my name
Me: "it's just a hobby! I can quit any time!"
ryanl: no one quits the donkey poon. many have tried. all have failed
Me: wow
Me: why didn't they speak about the dangers of donkey poon in my high school health class?
ryanl: its one of the hidden pleasures. like finger nail chewing, and the stuffing of olives
Me: you do olives too?
Me: wow, your wang must be like, really adjustible
Me: to fit donkey poon and olives
ryanl: not like THAT. one track mind or what?
ryanl: sheesh
Me: haha I still have no idea what you're talking about
Me: re: olives
ryanl: with pimentos, silly
Me: I thought they came with the pimentos in them
ryanl: don't tell me you never stuffed an olive
Me: I don't really eat olives
ryanl: well yeah, but who do you think stuffs them? Very Happy People.
ryanl: that's who
Me: this makes me glad that I do not eat them
Me: I hate rewarding happiness
ryanl: that's sad
ryanl: which i guess is the whole point


Me: I don't know if they ever had souls though
Me: to begin with
ryanl: do they seem the husk types?
Me: husk types?
ryanl: you know... 'soulless husk of a man.' I use the term, like every morning when i look in the mirror. I thought it was common lingo.
Me: haha
Me: oh, usually I say "dead inside," when I'm crying myself to sleep at night
ryanl: lol
ryanl: that was lol #3, if i'm not mistaken.
ryanl: just in case you keep track
Me: sweeet. I kick ass at this whole making you laugh thing
Me: what is with the fro dude on your buddy icon?
ryanl: when i went to find a generic avatar, that one was in the "black pride" section. so obviously it had to be mine.
Me: hahaha
Me: niiiiice
Me: you is the most uppity honkey I know
ryanl: what does that even MEAN?
Me: it means you're a cracker-ass cracker!
ryanl): i like saltine, personally. though i won't say no to oyster
Me: I'm a goldfish gal, myself
ryanl: I'll admit i have a weakness for the fishes, too
ryanl: i used to work in the cracker aisle at walmart
Me: HAHHAHA
Me: you win at life
ryanl: thanks
ryanl: i try
Me: man, that would be so awesome
Me: "one more cracker in the cracker aisle!"
Me: "do you want saltines, oysters, or white men?"
Me: I didn't know that walmart was so specialized
Me: that they had someone specifically for crackers
ryanl: i was the guy, girl! I was the guy!
Me: haha

nerds

Phoemeister: so
Phoemeister: right now I'm listening to a rap
Phoemeister: about boba the fett
Phoemeister: is there any possible way I could get nerdier?
Sui: is it by mc chris?
Sui: because he is cool
Phoemeister: haha yeah
Sui: my backpack's got jets
Sui: I'm boba the fett
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Sui: etc etc
Phoemeister: So I'm a nerd
Phoemeister: surrounded by nerds
Sui: haha yes
Sui: was there ever any doubt?


Phoemeister: I put the pigs calendar up today
Phoemeister: I think I died inside a little
Sui: haha i know I would

I die inside

Phoemeister: you're not a bitter old man
Phoemeister: you're a bitter young man
Sui: I'm a bitter old man in a bitter young man's body
Phoemeister: it'll catch up in a few years
Phoemeister: I was actually trying to quote it's a wonderful life
Phoemeister: only I don't have it memorized
Phoemeister: true story
Sui: Haha
Sui: It's okay, neither do i
Phoemeister: who would?
Phoemeister: If you think about it, everything up till the bit with the angel is horribly depressing
Phoemeister: and then if you don't belive in angels you're like, "I'm screwed if this ever happens to me."
Sui: It is quite depressing
Sui: haha
Sui: "Every time I watch this movie, an angel gets its wings and I die a little inside"
Sui: That should be the comment on IMDB about it

shower of meat

Phoemeister: I never go to Hardee's
Sui: Have you ever eaten there?
Phoemeister: like a million years ago before they made all those changes. I dunno, their ads do not inspire me to go there.
Phoemeister: when I go to a fast food joint, my main attraction is not "OH MY GOD THE BIGGEST FUCKING BURGER YOU HAVE SEEN IN YOUR LIFE"
Sui: haha
Sui: well they do have normal sized burgers too
Sui: their 6 dollar burgers are good in that they use 100% angus beef for them
Sui: I tried the double-6-dollar burger one
Sui: once
Sui: and almost exploded in a shower of meat
Sui: that's like.. a whole pound of meat on one burger
Sui: it wouldn't have been as bad
Phoemeister: that is too much
Sui: but
Sui: brooke got it for me on the day we were moving : P
Phoemeister: haha
Sui: so like.. taking lunch break from moving.. and I cram a pound of meat in my stomach
Sui: and have to move some more
Phoemeister: that is awesome
Phoemeister: how did you not die?
Sui: I can only assume it's because I'm already dead inside
Phoemeister: best
Phoemeister: reason
Phoemeister: ever