saving throws

Ryan: Your mother was a hampster
Me: well since no such thing as a "hampster" exists
Me: I must not exist either
Ryan: it's true
Ryan: *poof*
Me: I'm a figment of your imagination
Me: I'm actually you
Me: and I've been starting up terrorist organizations
Me: I call them "fight clubs"
Me: you wish you could fight like me, dress like me, fuck like me, BE ME
Ryan: haha
Ryan: you mean, badly, badly, and not at all?
Ryan: Oo.. burn
Me: haha
Me: yeah
Me: it made me laugh though
Me: so I don't hate you as much as I would otherwise
Ryan: hahah woo!
Ryan: I get -1 to hate from Phoe for being awesome
Me: haha
Me: the D & D like assement of how much you make me not hate you also makes me laugh
Me: so -2
Ryan: haha awesome
Ryab: I get all kinds of saving throws against Phoe hate
Me: haha you do
Me: seriously if a regular person said that
Me: I would stab him
Me: if AC said that I'd stab her and then poop in the stab hole and then shoot her and fuck the brain hole
Ryan: haha
Ryan: nice
Me: but you say it and I'm like, "I should be mad but I'm not."
Ryan: The truth hurts, but in a funny way, kind of like an old man getting hit in the balls with a football

word wizard

Me: you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer, Ryan
Me: but we still love you
Ryan: I'm sharp
Ryan: I'm just adventurous
Ryan: and sometimes when you're sharp and adventurous.. you trip and cut yourself
Me: LOL
Me: nice metaphor
Ryan: haha thanks
Ryan: I like to consider myself a wordsmith
Ryan: even better.. a WORD WIZARD
Me: "and when you cut yourself, it cuts like a knife but feels so right"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: the only problem with being a word wizard is when you run out of mana
Me: haha you're such a dork
Me: IBPW

stupid hat

Me: you bought a hat at a renessance faire?
Me: that can not be good
Ryan: haha it's not very rennaisance-y though
Ryan: dunno if you know what a Tricorne is
Me: hahah fuck
Ryan: haha
Ryan: I'll take that as a yes!
Me: colonial is not any better than rennaissance
Ryan: haha damn
Ryan: it looks awesome though :X
Ryan: I'll have to take pictures
Me: haha I was about to demand that
Ryan: looks especially cool with my coat
Me: what the hell are you smoking?

cylinders

Phoemeister: I can't wait until this semester's over and I'm graduated.
Phoemeister: Me and cylinders will have a lot more in common.
Kin: Oh-ho.
Phoemeister: You are the only one I'd risk that joke with. Because most people I know wouldn't get it. And the rest would scorn me like the crappy punmaker I am.
Kin: At first I was like, "What do car engines have to do with this?...Would she be driving more? Ooooh. Graduated cylinders."
Kin: I mean, that whole thing lasted probably less than a second, but that was the general thought process that went on there.
Phoemeister: lol.... it's alright. If you made that joke, I wouldn't get it at all. I mean, I know what a graduated cylinder is (obviously, I made that joke) but my brain just isn't flexible. I'd think "What? You're going to be round? With flat sides? Your volume will be PI R squared times your height? What?"
Kin: I wish I were a cylinder. Then I could roll places.
Phoemeister: That would be nice. Only if I rolled places, I'd want to be a non-bruisable cylinder. Because I think you could hurt yourself otherwise.
Kin: True. And you'd be a pretty squishy cylinder at that.
Phoemeister: Squishy Cylinder should be a band name.
Phoemeister: Or a kid's fruit snack.
Kin: Yes it should.
Kin: Mm...I don't know about that one.
Phoemeister: Really?
Phoemeister: I could see that.
Phoemeister: But maybe it's best if it stays a band.
Kin: Well, I can see fruit snacks being squishy cylinders, because they generally are. Or squishy...whatevers. But not being named that. Because it doesn't sound very appetizing.
Phoemeister: Hmm. You do have a point. I guess I was caught up in the being, not the name appeal.
Kin: "The Squishy Cylinders That Eat Like A Meal."

boeing dreams

Sui: these dreams all look boring though
Phoemeister: lol.... that would suck, to be all bored and then fall asleep and have horribly boieng dreams
Sui: some guy was coming out of a door in the parking structure talking about how he liked mexican food
Phoemeister: boeing dreams. That would be funny. 'I'm dreaming of an airplane!"
Sui: hahah
Sui you're a dork : )
Phoemeister: you should write these down just so you can look at them later and be like, "What the hell?"
Sui: haha
Sui: I thin ktaht's what you're for
Sui: to look at me and go "what the hell?"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: okay
Phoemeister: What the hell? I mean.... WHAT THE HELL, MAN? Seriously: What the hell?
Sui: haha
Sui: thanks you're abig help

green lantern

Phoemeister: wouldn't it be ironic if green lantern really didn't like green
Phoemeister: but was..... you know, stuck with it because of that stupid ring?
Sui: haha
Sui: "god I hate this stupid color"
Phoemeister: he'd beg and beg for it to make something blue
Phoemeister: but all he could get was green
Sui: I long to be the fuschia lantern
Phoemeister: DUDE
Phoemeister: you would be a KICK ASS fuschia lantern

leet

Phoemeister: I wonder why leet is so fun. I love being a dork
Adrienne: Me too. I think it's because even though most people know about it, it's still a small amount of people that use it. And an even smaller number who aren't cheeto-guzzling uber-nerds.
Phoemeister: LOL true. I'm hoping I'm not one of the latter.
Phoemeister: But I do know what a corellian is
Phoemeister: and what a cardassian is
Adrienne: Me too. I also know Corellians hate hanging back when they could be in the thick of it, and Cardassians like fine wines.
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: that is so awesome

sgt peppers

Sui: so.. this is a geeky joke on.. too many levels to count
Sui: but in this game that I play..
Sui: (and that should give it away right there)
Sui: but yeah.. so you can creat guilds, basically groups of people who play together
Sui: and depending on how many of the enemy you kill, you recieve a rank
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: I'm folowing so far
Sui: private, corporal, etc.
Sui: so.. I created this guild, "Lonely Hearts Club Band"
Sui: and a character named Peppers
Sui: and am currently trying to get him to Sergeant
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: you're such a loser
Phoemeister: IBPW
Sui: hahah
Sui: it's hilarious and you love it
Phoemeister: I DO love it
Phoemeister: you're making me want to have your babies
Sui: haha
Sui: even the non-retarded ones?
Phoemeister: yes
Phoemeister: even the not retarded ones!

nerds

Phoemeister: so
Phoemeister: right now I'm listening to a rap
Phoemeister: about boba the fett
Phoemeister: is there any possible way I could get nerdier?
Sui: is it by mc chris?
Sui: because he is cool
Phoemeister: haha yeah
Sui: my backpack's got jets
Sui: I'm boba the fett
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Sui: etc etc
Phoemeister: So I'm a nerd
Phoemeister: surrounded by nerds
Sui: haha yes
Sui: was there ever any doubt?


Phoemeister: I put the pigs calendar up today
Phoemeister: I think I died inside a little
Sui: haha i know I would

nerd sax

Sui: let me find this file
Sui: So I started playing this song
Sui: I was going to record myself playing the sax with it
Sui: and the clock started chiming exactly in time with it
Sui: it was totally an accident.. I started recording.. hit play on the song.. and then the clock started chiming
Phoemeister: what is this song?
Sui: It's the theme song for this evil villain guy in a game called Chrono Trigger
Sui: makes it even more fitting : P
Phoemeister: god, you're such a nerd
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: why would you think Hitler would want to help you with a song from a video game?
Sui: because it's totally an evil villain theme song
Sui: I've got a few others of me playing
Phoemeister: anything that isn't from a video game?
Sui: hmm
Sui: actually no haha
Sui: It's all from different games
Phoemeister: YOU ARE SUCH A DORK
Phoemeister: I AM ASHAMED TO KNOW YOU
Sui: lies
Sui: you appreciate my dorkiness
Sui: and love it
Phoemeister: I don't know
Phoemeister: I liked you when you were kind of dorky
Phoemeister: but the fct that you play video gme songs on the sx... very sad
Sui: You knew I had an appreciate for game music
Sui: you knew I played the sax
Sui: you should have put two and two together
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: now I know, but it is too late
Phoemeister: I'm already carrying your baby
Sui: haha
Sui: I knew I shouldn't have mailed you that sperm
Phoemeister: I knew I shouldn't have dropped it on my vagina
Sui: haha
Sui: "dropped"
Sui: like.. "oops"
Phoemeister: "d'oh. Oh well, I guess I'm having a baby now."
Sui: haha
Sui: "Another one for the meat packing plant"
Phoemeister: You're having baby!
Sui: hahah
Sui: delicious!

rogues do it from behind

Phoemeister: so you know those tee shirts/bumper stickers that make people's jobs sound dirty, like, "dentists do it with a smile" or "gymnasts do it with their feet in the air"?
Sui: haha yeah
Phoemeister: I'd like to come up with a line of those for medieval jobs no longer in existence
Phoemeister: like "hangmen do it with a noose" or "hatters do it while slowly going insane from mercury poisoning."
Sui: like.. Executioners do it in masks?
Phoemeister: yes!
Phoemeister: yours is better than mine
Phoemeister: knights do it on horseback
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: yeoman do it in the woods
Sui: I always like the one used for most fantasy games.. "Rogues do it from behind"
Phoemeister: haha!
Phoemeister: crap
Phoemeister: there's no point if those stupid D & D players already thought of this
Sui: haha yeah
Phoemeister: they were my main demographic
Sui: You're months behind
Phoemeister: who else knows what a yeoman is?
Sui: Probably no one :P
Phoemeister: exactly