meth

Phoemeister: snap
Phoemeister: way to grind that salt right into the injury :P
Stiverson8: your tears taste sweet
Phoemeister: I ate a lot of garlic
Phoemeister: it gets excreted out my tears
Stiverson8: that wouldn't make your tears sweet
Phoemeister: um
Phoemeister: by "garlic"
Phoemeister: I meant "candy"
Stiverson8: and by "candy" you mean "crystal meth amphetamine"
Phoemeister: and by "crystal meth amphetamine"
Phoemeister: I mean "awesome"
Stiverson8: I see no valid connection
Phoemeister: what, meth isn't awesome?
Stiverson8: you lose
Stiverson8: $10
Stiverson8: or you know what...
Stiverson8: go make those into euros for me

racist pancakes

Rob: so, Lister called me lil' rob over the intercom after closing the other night......I thank you and Thug.
Me: hahah I'm not the one who came up with it
Me: it was Nebrasky and Thug
Rob: but you and Thug have kept it in the mainstream hah
Me: haha true :P If it bothers you I'll stop but you didn't seem to care
Rob: haha no, thats all right......If i look like an untalented celebrity....I look like an untalented celebrity.
Me: that's the hilarious thing though
Me: you look nothing like rob thomas!
Rob: if we're going to call me by the name of a person i don't resemble......it should be something more fun..
Rob: like Genghis Khan
Me: DUDE. That's a band too
Me: an awesome german abba-esque band that dresses up in costumes and dances
Me: http://youtube.com/watch?v=cD3lPGcvtpE
Me: you will pee your pants, it's just that awesome
Rob: Well, I just took a shower........so i peed on myself, then.
Me: well get ready to do it again
Rob: (searching for the hidden David Hasslehoff)
Rob: i know he's in there somewhere
Me: I think he's the bald guy
Rob: with a foot of space between his front teeth
Me: haha it's a clever disguise
Rob: these are exactly the kind people I would expect to commit genecide.
Me: you just totally burned germany
Rob: yeah.....but theres an ocean between us......I'd be too scared to say anything if there werent.
Me: I have nazi pancake mix
Rob: haha
Rob: i bet its not nearly as good as krusteaz (crusty-ass) pancake mix
Rob: it makes me laugh every time i see it.
Me: LOL
Me: that's actually what it is
Rob: haha
Me: it just happens to formerly been owned by a nazi
Rob: I can see that
Me: Opt's roommate's ex boyfriend was a neo nazi, and he bought it
Rob: I remember tasting the prejudice in it last time.
Rob: oh, good.
Me: and through a series of unfortunate events I got custody of it
Rob: ooo a series of unfortunate events........I like that movie.
Me: haha yeah it was pretty good
Me: I was too lazy to read the books
Rob: me too......but Jim Carrey isn't in the books.....so I can justify things.
Me: you are reading the book and halfway through it you throw it down angrily, "THERE'S NO JIM CARREY IN THIS!!!"
Rob: I do that with most things, regardless what they are or if they could even feasibly HAVE a Jim Carrey in them.
Me: "this racist pancake mix has no jim carrey!!!"