(11:10:48 PM) Me: I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome
(11:11:03 PM) Stevenson: Really? That sucks dick.
(11:11:13 PM) Me: fo rizzle
(11:11:54 PM) Stevenson: That sucks big, fat, hairy, donkey dick.
(11:12:07 PM) Stevenson: And balls.
(11:12:14 PM) Stevenson: And it eats the cum.
(11:12:17 PM) Stevenson: Also, it eats babies.
(11:12:21 PM) Me: ...uh yeah
(11:12:33 PM) Me: thanks for comparing life problems to porno :P
(11:12:38 PM) Stevenson: and then it murders you in your sleep 'cause it's a serial killer!
(11:12:46 PM) Stevenson: That's how bad it is.
(11:12:50 PM) Me: that is some awesome porn you've been watching
(11:13:00 PM) Stevenson: I wrote the script myself.
(11:13:05 PM) Stevenson: You're in it, you just don't know it yet...
(11:13:31 PM) Me: sexy
(11:13:34 PM) Me: can I be the donkey?
(11:13:41 PM) Stevenson: You read my mind.
(11:13:45 PM) Stevenson: Well, you can be one half of the donkey.
(11:15:10 PM) Me: okay
(11:15:14 PM) Me: mooooo!
(11:15:39 PM) Stevenson: You're fired.
(11:15:54 PM) Me: baa?
(11:16:13 PM) Stevenson: Hmm. Interesting. You're re-hired.
(11:18:36 PM) Me: sweet
(11:18:39 PM) Me: do I get a fluffer?
(11:19:00 PM) Stevenson: Umm... you don't really need one, but I guess so.
(11:19:19 PM) Me: yaaay
(11:19:34 PM) Me: I shall have the fluffiest imaginary penis of them all!
(11:20:04 PM) Stevenson: Oh, well in that case, I'm fluffing you right now.
(11:20:08 PM) Stevenson: If it's all imaginary.
(11:20:44 PM) Me: awesome
(11:21:00 PM) Me: I'm fluffing your imaginary penis right back
(11:22:28 PM) Stevenson: I just imaginary came.
(11:22:51 PM) Stevenson: God, we're dirty lately. Or maybe it's just me.
(11:23:19 PM) Me: haha no, I think you're right
(11:23:33 PM) Stevenson: I'm not complaining though.
(11:23:38 PM) Me: I was always this pervy
(11:23:43 PM) Me: you just got that way all of a sudden
(11:23:51 PM) Stevenson: haha
(11:24:04 PM) Stevenson: I guess I finally felt like it was okay.
(11:24:21 PM) Me: it's not just okay
(11:24:25 PM) Me: it's fabulous
(11:24:39 PM) Stevenson: That's what your mom said when I was fucking her ass.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
jizz makes the best baby seasoning
(12:33:30 AM) Stevenson: So, I kidnapped this woman's baby today.
(12:33:33 AM) Stevenson: Stroller and everything.
(12:33:48 AM) Stevenson: I sold the stroller for 50 bucks to a homeless lady downtown.
(12:34:03 AM) Stevenson: But I can't decide if I should eat the baby or just kill it and rape it.
(12:34:08 AM) Me: haha
(12:34:10 AM) Me: you can do both
(12:34:17 AM) Me: I find that jizz makes a great baby seasoning
(12:34:23 AM) Stevenson: Well, I have this thing where I don't like to eat things I've raped.
(12:34:30 AM) Me: well next time I'll stay longer I guess
(12:34:33 AM) Me: I'm sorry :/
(12:34:36 AM) Stevenson: shooooooosh!
(12:34:40 AM) Me: psh, give it to me
(12:34:44 AM) Me: I love eating things you've raped
(12:34:51 AM) Stevenson: hahaha
(12:35:04 AM) Stevenson: Then you love eating your mom!
(12:35:26 AM) Stevenson: And I don't mean with some fava beans and a nice chianti...
(12:35:32 AM) Stevenson: BURN!
(12:33:33 AM) Stevenson: Stroller and everything.
(12:33:48 AM) Stevenson: I sold the stroller for 50 bucks to a homeless lady downtown.
(12:34:03 AM) Stevenson: But I can't decide if I should eat the baby or just kill it and rape it.
(12:34:08 AM) Me: haha
(12:34:10 AM) Me: you can do both
(12:34:17 AM) Me: I find that jizz makes a great baby seasoning
(12:34:23 AM) Stevenson: Well, I have this thing where I don't like to eat things I've raped.
(12:34:30 AM) Me: well next time I'll stay longer I guess
(12:34:33 AM) Me: I'm sorry :/
(12:34:36 AM) Stevenson: shooooooosh!
(12:34:40 AM) Me: psh, give it to me
(12:34:44 AM) Me: I love eating things you've raped
(12:34:51 AM) Stevenson: hahaha
(12:35:04 AM) Stevenson: Then you love eating your mom!
(12:35:26 AM) Stevenson: And I don't mean with some fava beans and a nice chianti...
(12:35:32 AM) Stevenson: BURN!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
sleep
Ryan: brain.. shutting.. down
Ryan: need.. sleep
Me: haha
Me: I wish I could sleeep
Ryan: why can't you?
Me: insooomnia
Ryan: in-lame-nia
Me: your mom's lame
Ryan: don't make fun of her inability to walk!
Ryan: its' very hard for us
Me: I like to call her gimpster mcbadwalking
Ryan: haha
Ryan: makes it easier for you to manhandle her into the doggy-style position
Ryan: you sicko
Me: it's not sick it's awesome
Ryan: haha
Me: I wish I'd discovered manipulating cripples to my will a long time ago
Ryan: need.. sleep
Me: haha
Me: I wish I could sleeep
Ryan: why can't you?
Me: insooomnia
Ryan: in-lame-nia
Me: your mom's lame
Ryan: don't make fun of her inability to walk!
Ryan: its' very hard for us
Me: I like to call her gimpster mcbadwalking
Ryan: haha
Ryan: makes it easier for you to manhandle her into the doggy-style position
Ryan: you sicko
Me: it's not sick it's awesome
Ryan: haha
Me: I wish I'd discovered manipulating cripples to my will a long time ago
lazy eye
Mike: is it just me, or is lazy eye kind of funny?
Mike: your mom's is
Me: though I think how she got it (me sticking my weiner in her eye) is the funny part
Mike: my mom's lazy eye is a serious problem and isn't funny!
Me: the serious problem is she lets people stick their wieners in her eye
Mike: your mom's is
Me: though I think how she got it (me sticking my weiner in her eye) is the funny part
Mike: my mom's lazy eye is a serious problem and isn't funny!
Me: the serious problem is she lets people stick their wieners in her eye
moms
Me: and then I cry
Ryan: true :\
Me: but every time a Phoexx0r cries, and angel gets it's wings
Me: haha oh my gosh
Me: I can't remember exactluy what I used it for the other day but I did that same joke
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I think it was "every time Phoexx0r does your mom" though
Ryan: haha that's pretty close
Ryan: because Phoexx0r does cry after doing your mom
Me: HAHA
Me: they've declared open season on my mom at work
Me: like the last few days it's been a joke about Phoexx0r's mom extravaganza
Ryan: the mom jokes are flying, eh?
Ryan: I think you brought that on yourself though
Me: yeah
Ryan: you've claimed to have relations with just about everyone's mom
Me: haha sideways
Ryan: exactly
Me: it is pretty funny though
Me: becauwse I'll be like where's my clipboard
Me: "I put it in your mother."
Me: "that's where I keep most things"
Ryan: haha
Me: or I said "I concur" about something the other day
Me: and someone was like, "I concur your mother"
Ryan: true :\
Me: but every time a Phoexx0r cries, and angel gets it's wings
Me: haha oh my gosh
Me: I can't remember exactluy what I used it for the other day but I did that same joke
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I think it was "every time Phoexx0r does your mom" though
Ryan: haha that's pretty close
Ryan: because Phoexx0r does cry after doing your mom
Me: HAHA
Me: they've declared open season on my mom at work
Me: like the last few days it's been a joke about Phoexx0r's mom extravaganza
Ryan: the mom jokes are flying, eh?
Ryan: I think you brought that on yourself though
Me: yeah
Ryan: you've claimed to have relations with just about everyone's mom
Me: haha sideways
Ryan: exactly
Me: it is pretty funny though
Me: becauwse I'll be like where's my clipboard
Me: "I put it in your mother."
Me: "that's where I keep most things"
Ryan: haha
Me: or I said "I concur" about something the other day
Me: and someone was like, "I concur your mother"
oral demulcent
Phoemeister: they just put in the mint taste so that you think they're medicine, but they're not really
Sui: yeah it's the menthol
Phoemeister: I don't think they even put in menthol. At least in the ones I ate. They literally put in mint flavoring.
Sui: hmm actually you're right
Sui: I thought it said "with menthol"
Sui: but the little lable actually says "no menthol"
Sui: well non-mentholated
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: ha! You're just eating mint flavored candy!
Phoemeister: though I think they have vitamin C
Phoemeister: but everything has vitamin C
Sui: They do have Pectin in them
Sui: and yeah, vitamin c
Phoemeister: pectin doesn't do anything
Phoemeister: they put pectin in jam
Phoemeister: it's that waxy stuff on the outside of an apple
Sui: it's an "oral demulcent" as they say on the bag ; )
Phoemeister: Your Mom's an oral demulcent
Sui: yeah it's the menthol
Phoemeister: I don't think they even put in menthol. At least in the ones I ate. They literally put in mint flavoring.
Sui: hmm actually you're right
Sui: I thought it said "with menthol"
Sui: but the little lable actually says "no menthol"
Sui: well non-mentholated
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: ha! You're just eating mint flavored candy!
Phoemeister: though I think they have vitamin C
Phoemeister: but everything has vitamin C
Sui: They do have Pectin in them
Sui: and yeah, vitamin c
Phoemeister: pectin doesn't do anything
Phoemeister: they put pectin in jam
Phoemeister: it's that waxy stuff on the outside of an apple
Sui: it's an "oral demulcent" as they say on the bag ; )
Phoemeister: Your Mom's an oral demulcent
zig zag
Phoemeister: See, the worm has turned, now I urge you to sleep :P
Sui: yeah I should be sleep
Phoemeister: I was sleep for halloween once
Sui: I was asleep with your mom once
Phoemeister: Really? I heard there was very little actual sleep.
Sui: it's true
Phoemeister: I can't believe I'm actually aiding the mom joke
Sui: I couldn't sleep next to her.. she kept hogging all the covers
Phoemeister: and you're like, making it less dirty
Phoemeister: it's like the roles have somehow reversed
Sui: I'm all about keeping you on your toes
Phoemeister: apparently
Sui: or maybe that was knees
Phoemeister: OH, you went back
Sui: haha
Sui: I zig and then I zag
Sui: yeah I should be sleep
Phoemeister: I was sleep for halloween once
Sui: I was asleep with your mom once
Phoemeister: Really? I heard there was very little actual sleep.
Sui: it's true
Phoemeister: I can't believe I'm actually aiding the mom joke
Sui: I couldn't sleep next to her.. she kept hogging all the covers
Phoemeister: and you're like, making it less dirty
Phoemeister: it's like the roles have somehow reversed
Sui: I'm all about keeping you on your toes
Phoemeister: apparently
Sui: or maybe that was knees
Phoemeister: OH, you went back
Sui: haha
Sui: I zig and then I zag
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