phoemeister (11:21:41 AM): we should be buddy cops
phoemeister (11:21:47 AM): and every week Mike is the perp
Suibrom (11:21:48 AM): that would be awesome
Suibrom (11:21:56 AM): you're the wild card
Suibrom (11:22:10 AM): and i'm the old about-to-retire guy?
phoemeister (11:22:23 AM): yeah unless you want two wild cards, bitches!
Suibrom (11:22:28 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:22:35 AM): I'm too old for that shit
phoemeister (11:22:52 AM): hahah YES
phoemeister (11:24:02 AM): we could both be widcards who are about to retire
Suibrom (11:24:08 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:24:22 AM): I'm too old for this MOTHER COCK GIRAFFE DONKEY

well....

It's just a cover, I really was laughing at him thinking I want to watch his jujitsu group.


(1:07:29 PM) Mike: i know this might not super interest you, but my jujitsu group just got a website online
(1:07:30 PM) Mike: http://asujujitsu.org/
(1:07:51 PM) Mike: there is also a youtube link at the bottom with some videos
(1:08:48 PM) Me: hahaha
(1:09:11 PM) Mike: ?
(1:10:43 PM) Me: I wonder if I could register the domain www.fuckamidgetintheasswhileheorshedoeslinesofcocaineoffyourmotherstitswhileshegivesoraltoalargeblacktransvestitenunsingingselectionsfromthesoundofmusic.com
(1:11:21 PM) Mike: maybe!
(1:11:28 PM) Mike: also: you have wierd thoughts!

I will choke a bitch

(12:20:19 PM) Me: my other favorite lately is this http://www.geocities.com/tribble80/goodneighbor.jpg
(12:20:43 PM) Mike: haha
(12:20:45 PM) Mike: oh man
(12:20:52 PM) Mike: that one was lol
(12:21:04 PM) Me: haha I'm glad to have an appreciative audience
(12:21:08 PM) Mike: perhaps mainly because i just watched godfather
(12:21:15 PM) Me: oh
(12:21:20 PM) Me: I'm only funny in context? :/
(12:21:33 PM) Mike: no, you're more funny in context
(12:21:39 PM) Mike: also because im betting it really happened
(12:23:05 PM) Me: hahaha

double aunt

Phoemeister: I'm a double aunt today!
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: double aunt? that like some freaky sex thing?

I think I'm going to be talking to Mike less from now on.

brokeback mount doom

Me: also I'm reading a book about gay trolls
Mike: well thats certainly interesting
Mike: im reading dune
Me: mine wins

mike, mike, mike

Dr4g0nR3b0rn: omg, floated on the salt river today
Phoemeister: god, mike
Phoemeister: you're going to go blind
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: yeah, it did make my eyes wacky for a while
Phoemeister: seriously, what is the salt river, aside from an awesome euphemism for a lot of semen?
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: ah, ther is a river near here
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: it was pretty badass
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: tubing down it
Phoemeister: "tubing down it" still doesn't dissuade me from the notion that this is an elaborate reference to you jacking off
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: maybe you just like to think of me in a constant masturbatory state
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: don't .... don't fight it. just go with it
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: next time im laying on my back jacking off into my face i'll record it for you
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: I'll send it into america's funniest home videos

A comment from Ryan RE: the above conver:

Suibrom: bob saget would love that shit

lazy eye

Mike: is it just me, or is lazy eye kind of funny?
Mike: your mom's is
Me: though I think how she got it (me sticking my weiner in her eye) is the funny part
Mike: my mom's lazy eye is a serious problem and isn't funny!
Me: the serious problem is she lets people stick their wieners in her eye

perverted mike

Me: but I love how mike will say something like "I just thought of something creepy but I won't tell you"
Me: 'but even though you know it will be creepy the curiousity drives you nuts
Ryan: haha
Me: so you have to make him tell you
Ryan: I don't think he's ever said that to me
Me: haha he says that constantly to me
Ryan: but he has said "This is probably more than you want to know, but.."
Ryan: and then proceed to tell me something
Me: yeah that's what he says
Me: same difference pretty much
Ryan: yeah but he usually tells me anyways
Me: yesterday it was his thoughts on sex with Odo from DS9
Ryan: it's not like "I want to tell you this, but I won't"
Ryan: he just says it
Me: half the time he just tells me witout waiting to see if it's alright half the time he makes me ask him
Ryan: haha
Ryan: what the hell kind of weird thought is that?
Ryan: Sometimes I worry about mike
Me: he was going on and on about how he could change into an animal halfway thru
Me: me too
Ryan: haha
Ryan: shit
Ryan: Of course mike would think about sex with animals
Me: and I said I was no t interested in that
Me: and then mike was like, "what if he turned into an ooze and stimulated every nerve in your body"
Ryan: He comes up with some weird shit

uh ohs

Mike: there is an online comic called gotham girls
Mike: i've not mentioned it before because it's sort of fruity, i get past that because i want to see harley and im willing to make some sacrifices, but i don't think you guys would like it
Mike: however, im on season 3 now, and it's actually pretty good so far

Me: I knew Mike would be into clowns
Ryan: haha
Ryan: yeah his Harle obsession is weird
Me: he's obsessed with her? eewww
Ryan: yeah
Me: haha I'm watching this, and they way they're drawn she's the least hot
Ryan: haha
Ryan: I mean, skin tight suit = hot
Ryan: pale chick = hot
Ryan: clown outfit and jesters hat?
Ryan: no
Me: also no matter who does the voice for her (I've seen other cartoons of batman before too) always has the most fucking annoying voice possible
Ryan: yeah her voice is always annoying
Me: yeah like poison ivy has half her rack showing
Me: cat woman's always hot
Me: and then mike goes for the freak in the jester's outfit
Ryan: haha
Me: I'm re-iterating my taunts directly to him


Me: but you go for the freak in the jester's outfit with the obnoxious voice?
Mike: dood, thats so hot
Mike: 1 she's got a hot body, but i mean, they all do
Mike: 2 she's out of her fucking mind, and thats hot for some reason
Me: haha they're all crazy too
Me: no one sane jumps off buildings in a cat outfit
Mike: but her flavor of crazy is better

Me: I said we'll agree to disagree
Me: but in my head I went, "Clown crazy is always most unsavory of the crazies."
Phoemeister: least savory, I mena
Ryan: yes, clown sex is just a frightening thought
Me: Wait Mike + clown sex is like 80 times as horrifying as clown sex alone
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: that will burn into your brain for EVER

plans

Mike: what are these plans you speak of
Me: My parents are buying me two meals, a movie, and possibly merchandise from world market
Mike: hrm, are you sure they are not trying to sleep with you?
Me: haha
Mike: because that is what i would do if i really wanted to sleep with a girl who wouldn't give it up
Me: um... well they've bought me a whole lot of crap before and not tried anything :P
Mike: they are building up then, or have low self esteem

cosmonaut

Ryan: Mike decided not to go camping
Ph0exx0r: yeah, he got drunk instead
Ryan: haha
Ph0exx0r: man, you know that you are an alcoholic when you're sitting there drinking vodka and tang
Ryan: haha
Ph0exx0r: it was hilarious
Ph0exx0r: he just got drunker and drunker
Ryan: I had a cosmonaut, because I invented it.. so I had to try it
Ryan: but yeah he got pretty sloshed
Ph0exx0r: "brb........ I need more tang"
Ph0exx0r: HAHA, that's what you call it?
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: vodka + tang = cosmonaut
Ryan: it was the only logical name!
Ph0exx0r: well I was talking to a friend today about alcohol, and she mentioned how ghetto kool aid and gin is, so I brought up vodka and tang
Ph0exx0r: and I told her I thought the guy who was doing it (Mike) was an alcoholic
Ryan: haha because he is
Ph0exx0r: and then I told her he told me he said alcoholics have a drinking problem, he's very gifted at drinking
Ryan: haha
Ph0exx0r: and she said he should've said, "No, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
Ph0exx0r: and I thought that was the best drunkard comeback ever
Ryan: haha yeah that's pretty good
Ph0exx0r: now that I know the name though
Ph0exx0rr: it makes it slightly less sad
Ph0exx0r: at least he was drinking a funny ghetto drink
Ryan: I looked it up, and I found that it apparently was already created back in like.. the 70's, but the "origin is unknown"
Ryan: so I'm convinced that I went back in time
Ryan: and created it then
Ryan: because I came up with it

teeeth

Dr4g0n: thats quite a lot
Dr4g0n: i got a toothbrush!
Dr4g0n: im pumped about that
Phoemeister: yep

lol
Phoemeister: yeah, my mom goes all out on the presents, I'm actually embarassed to admit how much I got sometimes
Dr4g0n: it's a fancy sonic one
Dr4g0n: embarassed? don't be
Phoemeister: cool
Dr4g0nR3b0rn: as long as you don't get like 3rd world countries for presents...
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: damn
Phoemeister: I was going to let you help me rule nigeria
Dr4g0n: im so totally in
Dr4g0n: i'll just try not to be a prick about it
Phoemeister: hey, be a prick all you want
Phoemeister: what are they going to do about it?
Dr4g0n: oh really ...
Dr4g0n: excelent
Dr4g0n: im so totally abusing my power
Dr4g0n: with clean teeth!

android milkshake

Dr4g0n: just playing some wow and watching star trek TNG
Phoemeister: which episode?
Dr4g0n: the first one with Lor
Phoemeister: ooooooh
Dr4g0n: i like it a lot
Phoemeister: good episode!
Dr4g0n: hehe
Dr4g0n: yah it is
Dr4g0n: prolly one of my favs
Dr4g0nR: brent spiner is an awesome actor
Phoemeister: I know!
Phoemeister: I love him
Phoemeister: I want his android babies
Dr4g0nR: haha
Dr4g0n: Phoe's milkshake brings all the android boys to the yard