post secret

Opt: eh
Opt: postsecret's played itself out with me
Opt: after shelving all those books
Me: I get tired of all the suicide ones
Me: and the ones about sexual abuse
Me: I feel bad for the people
Me: but it's like the 900th one of the same
Opt: damn people who got raped and want to die
Me: hahaha
Opt: I know :)
Me: I rape people because it makes me want to liiiiiiiive!
Opt: LOL

I fucked your girlfriend

(8:58:11 PM) Me: dude if I ever did Brooke
(8:58:22 PM) Me: I would totally call you up right after and be like, "I fucked your girlfriend."
(8:58:25 PM) Me: just to let you know
(8:58:44 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha thanks
(8:58:48 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I would hope you'd video tape it
(9:01:02 PM) Me: haha no promises
(9:01:27 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: it's okay
(9:01:31 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: if you didn't, brooke would :X
(9:02:21 PM) Me: haha
(9:02:26 PM) Me: well she might actually have a camera
(9:02:29 PM) Me: which Ii'm sure helps
(9:02:41 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha yes
(9:04:34 PM) Me: I'd have to draw a lot of crappy pictures in paint and make a flip book
(9:04:44 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha it would be awesome though
(9:04:44 PM) Me: that's a lot more work than camera on
(9:05:13 PM) Me: hahaha I should just IM her "Hey brooke, mind if I draw a lot of shitty pictures in paint of me giving it to you with a strap on? "
(9:05:40 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha you should :X
(9:08:34 PM) Me: psh, a true artist does not ask for permission
(9:09:02 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: is that artist or rapist?
(9:09:59 PM) Me: haha neither
(9:10:03 PM) Me: that's why I like art so much
(9:10:08 PM) Me: it's so similar to my other true love
(9:10:53 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha nice
(9:11:41 PM) Me: I think of myself as a rartist
(9:12:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "rape is my art"
(9:14:10 PM) Me: hhaa, how did you know what my art is about?
(9:14:35 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: it's all abstract and weird
(9:14:38 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I know rape when Isee it
(9:16:20 PM) Me: hahaha
(9:16:37 PM) Me: "I know rape when I'm bent over the urinal with my ass in the air!"
(9:16:58 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha nice
(9:17:24 PM) Me: that's what the butterfly one was about
(9:18:00 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha how can you be bent over a urinal? :X
(9:19:35 PM) Me: I don't know
(9:19:38 PM) Me: you figure it out
(9:19:42 PM) Me: and get back to me
(9:19:48 PM) Me: cause I really want to do someone that way sometime
(9:19:52 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(9:19:57 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I bet I could work it out
(9:20:08 PM) Me: hahah
(9:20:14 PM) Me: Ryan's like, "I like a challenge"
(9:20:59 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: well you could totally be bent over in front of a urinal
(9:21:05 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I dunno that oyu'd want to put your hands on that thing
(9:21:32 PM) Me: hey, I'm already raping someone. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.
(9:25:38 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: what about everything else dirty?
(9:26:13 PM) Me: look it's not a good time if I'm not covered in urine
(9:26:14 PM) Me: you know this

couch date rape

Ryan: Hm I wonder what I should get you for christmas
Ryan: a picture of me dressed as Dr. Rockso
Me: HAHA YES
Me: Oh I also need a picture of you doing your OH face at one point, because I am planning to do the "people who've humped my couch" gallery soon
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I plan on looking passed out, with cushions heaped on me, like the couch caught me unawares and humped me
Ryan: haha I agree with this
Ryan: It's too bad I don't have one in reverse
Me: eh?
Ryan: like.. somehow make the couch seem unaware
Ryan: and me humping it from behind
Me: oh my god
Me: that would be hilarious
Me: I could try and take some plain pictures of my couch if you think you could photoshop yourself date raping it
Ryan: haha
Ryan: with my hand on it all consoling.. and my finger up to my mouth all.. "Shhh"
Ryan: I wish we could make your couch look like it's crying
Me: awww, you seem so experienced at this
Me: I could sort of tape blue tear drops to it somewhere
Ryan: haha
Ryan: make the cushions all up like eyebrows
Me: haha aww
Me: if it looks too human It'll be sad
Ryan: I can picture in my head making the cushions looking like a bent over person
Me: haha.... I'll see what I can do
Me: but I mean the couch is already at crotch height for humping pleasure
Ryan: True

Me: so now your plans for my couch are up on my blog
Ryan: Crap
Me: crap?
Ryan: that would totally ruin my plans
Me: I don't think my couch can read
Ryan: Are you sure though?
Me: yes
Me: one day I gave it poison and not poison
Me: and it picked the poisoned one
Me: and then I had to take it to the hospital
Me: but it was clearly labeled poison
Ryan: haha
Ryan: maybe it's just suicidal from all the unwanted humping

viking

Phoemeister: what is a viking accent anyway?
Mulva: I dunno, I think it involves grunts and raping the listener.

Ryans

Phoemeister: oh guess what
Suim: What?!
Phoemeister: last night I met a guy named Ryan, and we talked about rape for like four hours
Sui: haha
Sui: Umm.. good?
Phoemeister: so I guess what I'm trying to say is: thanks for visiting
Sui: Haha
Sui: Not a problem
Phoemeister: I actually gave in and went to help with Mulva's movie
Phoemeister: and he was the guy who shot the blood onto me
Phoemeister: true story
Sui: haha shot blood onto you?
Phoemeister: yeah, I die
Phoemeister: and he apparently has a thing that shoots blood onto people
Phoemeister: true story
Phoemeister: "he" in that sentence being what, the fifth Ryan I now know?
Sui: Haha
Phoemeister: so you know a guy with acess to a lot of fake blood is pretty cool
Sui: can't argue with that
Phoemeister: actually I talked to two guys about rape all night. But the other one's name was not Ryan, so I didn't think you'd find it as interesting :P
Sui: Well I think i'd be a little creeped out if I was spending the night talking to two guys about rape : |
Sui: Kind of like when I was in the shower in my dorm at U of A.. we had community showers
Phoemeister: well we weren't like, "isn't rape cool!"
Sui: and I hear one guy say to another guy in the stall next to him.. "Hey, do you know what sodomy is?"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: that's AWESOME.
Phoemeister: like, Mulva was making me talk in the background of this one shot, and I was like, "what do I say?" and the one guy was like, "you should just say rape over and over"
Phoemeister: and I laughed so hard it messed up the scene
Phoemeister: and then,you know how when I like a joke, I beat it into the ground? Yep.
Sui: haha nice