phoemeister (11:21:41 AM): we should be buddy cops
phoemeister (11:21:47 AM): and every week Mike is the perp
Suibrom (11:21:48 AM): that would be awesome
Suibrom (11:21:56 AM): you're the wild card
Suibrom (11:22:10 AM): and i'm the old about-to-retire guy?
phoemeister (11:22:23 AM): yeah unless you want two wild cards, bitches!
Suibrom (11:22:28 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:22:35 AM): I'm too old for that shit
phoemeister (11:22:52 AM): hahah YES
phoemeister (11:24:02 AM): we could both be widcards who are about to retire
Suibrom (11:24:08 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:24:22 AM): I'm too old for this MOTHER COCK GIRAFFE DONKEY

buddy cops!

Suibrom: buddy time?
Suibrom: the training stuff?
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: You should totally go into like a buddy cop movie
Suibrom: and since you're way older than everyone else
Phoemeister: "I'm too old for this shit!"
Suibrom: you can be the danny glover character
Phoemeister: wow, this is weird. The first time you bring up buddy cops and not me
Suibrom: you should end every call you have today with that
Suibrom: "I'm too old for this shit." *clicK*
Suibrom: and your buddy would be like "Come on Amy! We gotta go save My wife/kid/cousin and blow up the bad guys!"
Suibrom: Though in reality, they'd probably just say "what the hell do you think you're doing ending calls like that?"
Suibrom: and you can tell them "I'm too old for this shit"
Phoemeister: haha and punch them in the face
Phoemeister: and scream, "You, (their name), are no Mel Gibson!"
Phoemeister: "You're lucky if you're even Cagney"
Phoemeister: You're definitely not Samuel L Jackson. Yippe ka oh, motherfucker!
Suibrom: You can be Sammy Ell
Suibrom: You need to find your Bruce Willis
Suibrom: and turn this mother into a gay porn flick
Suibrom: where he's all "Oh yeah, we're best buddy cops ever.. let's get it on"
Phoemeister: haha what?
Phoemeister: I dont' remember this
Suibrom: Only it won't be really gay because you're a woman
Suibrom: Dude, I'm trying to get you some action! just GO with it
Suibrom: and hopefully it doesn't have a twist ending like 6th sense, where he's all "Don't cry for me, I'm already dead"
Suibrom: and then I have to make fun of you for your necrophilia
Phoemeister: make fun of me? You'd be proud of me
Suibrom: well yeah
Suibrom: but I'd have all kinds of jokes
Suibrom: I like my coffee like Amy likes her men.. DEAD

Mr. Schmegger

Suibrom: You can hope that my job stuff goes well too : )
Phoemeister: yaaaaaay what job stuff?
Suibrom: I'm up in Vegas right now
Suibrom: hanging out with a friend of mine
Suibrom: who might be able to get me a job with him
Suibrom: doing a few interviews this week
Phoemeister: wow
Phoemeister: are you going to work at a casino?
Suibrom: Should know by tomorrow or the next day how it's going
Phoemeister: because that would kick ass
Suibrom: haha nope
Phoemeister: you could pretend you were in Ocean's 11 every day
Phoemeister: ah
Phoemeister: any burly dockworkers involved?
Suibrom: haha nope
Suibrom: working at an elementary school doing tech stuff
Phoemeister: really
Phoemeister: Hunh.
Phoemeister: I can't see you as an elementary school guy.
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: Much more of a burly dockworker guy.
Suibrom: Well I wouldn't be a teacher..
Suibrom: just fixing teacher's computers
Phoemeister: I think you could seriously warp those kids
Phoemeister: yeah, I know
Phoemeister: but still
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: I'm actually good with kids
Suibrom: usually
Phoemeister: We all loved the janitor at our school. You could be like the janitor, only you fix crap instead of clean it.
Suibrom: haha I could be that guy
Phoemeister: you could. You could be the Mr. Schmegger of fixing computers and being fun for kids
Suibrom: hahah yup
Phoemeister: but you have to get an adorable name like Mr. Schmegger.
Phoemeister: You could probably steal his, though. I bet he's all old and retired and stuff by now.
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: I doubt he'd notice
Phoemeister: I would totally come and visit you
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: you should come visit me now
Phoemeister: and then try to get you to protect me from the guys that kneecap you when you gamble money you don't have
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: Well, by "you" I meant "vegas."
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: well damn
Phoemeister: Anyway, I can't afford to visit you till I have a real job, and then I won't have time to visit you :P
Suibrom: well get a real job and take a vacation
Phoemeister: I will. But it takes time to build up vacation. And why would I want to waste my vacation on you, Mr. Schmegger wannabe! :P
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: Waste?!
Suibrom: blasphemy
Phoemeister: What would I do? Watch you fix computers for little kids? Boring.
Suibrom: we could hang out and gamble
Phoemeister: You know the same problem every time will be that someone spilled food on it
Phoemeister: I don't have any money
Suibrom: haha pretty much
Phoemeister: Wouldn't it be great if there was a show based on your job, and then every day you had to solve a computer problem, and every episode it turned out that it was like, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wedged into the CPU?
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: it'd be like the "monster of the week" type shows
Phoemeister: Yeah
Phoemeister: I was particularly thinking of Scooby Doo
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: only without annoying characters
Phoemeister: yeah. You would be awesome. And you could have a partner, like in buddy cop shows. And it could be Mr. Schmegger. And he's the wizened experienced one showing the ropes to you, the rookie
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: there you go
Phoemeister: and then a hot teacher chick could be your love interest, only she's on crack and you have to help her with her addiction
Suibrom: he'll be the little pimply faced kid?
Phoemeister: and then you find out she's cheating on you with Mr. Schmegger.
Suibrom: haha oo.. hot teacher
Suibrom: nooooo
Phoemeister: who's the pimply kid?
Phoemeister: But then eventually you and Mr. Schmegger will reunite
Suibrom: the side kick
Phoemeister: and become gay lovers
Suibrom: hhaha nooo
Phoemeister: oh. No pimples, he's all old
Phoemeister: but then he cheats on you with the hot teacher's crack dealer
Suibrom: haha that's bad
Phoemeister: in the best possible way?
Suibrom: oooh yeeeah
Phoemeister: cool
Phoemeister: anyway, then the crack dealer cheats on Mr. Schmegger with you
Phoemeister: but then crack dealer trys to start hooking kids on crack by slipping it into the tater tots
Phoemeister: and you're like, "That's wrong, crack dealer!" so you dump the crack dealer
Phoemeister: and start going out with the tater tots manufacturer
Phoemeister: what do you think?
Suibrom: haha you need to write a new novel
Suibrom: and you've got your idea
Phoemeister: that can be my novel for next year
Phoemeister: if it's a novel, then you and the tater tot manufacturer can live happily ever after
Phoemeister: if it's a long running show, the tater tot manufacturer is going to dump you, and you'll have to find someone new
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: fair enough
Phoemeister: And in season 3 you'll have a baby
Phoemeister: with a celebrity, if the show's big enough!
Suibrom: can it be gilbert godfreid?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: Sure
Suibrom: woo!
Phoemeister: I thought you were going to ask for a woman
Suibrom: eh well that works too
Phoemeister: but a shrill-voiced man in his 40's is also good stuff
Phoemeister: I mean 50's
Phoemeister: or however old he is
Phoemeister: the squint makes it hard to tell
Suibrom: he's timeless
Phoemeister: he IS
Phoemeister: And the kids would be like, "Why does Ryan's baby's daddy sound like that parrot from Aladdin?"
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: beautiful!
Phoemeister: the baby could look like a little mini gilbert godfried
Phoemeister: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q =Gilbert+Gottfried&spell=1

Think, all that could be yours for extensive makeout scenes

hamburger helper

FACT: Whenever possible, I bring up buddy cops.

Sui: look.. my white trash dinner is getting cold
Phoemeister: what're you having?
Sui: guess!
Phoemeister: velveeta?
Phoemeister: and..... crackers?
Sui: haha velveeta is a good guess
Sui: but no
Phoemeister: well what is it?
Sui: hamburger helper of course
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I like to imagine the little anthromorphic hand walking around talking to you
Sui: haha
Sui: oh he is
Phoemeister: "Gee, hamburger helper sure is good, Ryan!"
Sui: I should try to make it sound high class
Sui: I Just made a delicious beef pasta with a three cheese sauce
Phoemeister: MMMMMN :P
Phoemeister: you should be in a buddy cop movie with the hamburger helper hand
Sui: haha
Sui: we would fight crime
Sui: and eat hamburger helper
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: he could be the sane Danny Glover one
Phoemeister: and you could be the crazy mel gibson one
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: He'd be all, "I'm too old for this shit"
Sui: I need to eat some hamburger helper and SAVE MY WIFE
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Sui: strange.. that his name is danny glover.. and that guy is kind of like a GLOVE
Phoemeister: it's a CONSPIRACY
Sui: I can totally picture the hamburger helper oven mitt guy smoking a crumpled up cigarette.. 5'clock shadow.. saying "i'm too old for this shit"
Phoemeister: me too
Phoemeister: and I can totally see you living in a trailer on the beach with a rottweiler
Sui: haha
Sui: it probably make me more white trash.. but I like louisana hot sauce on my hamburger helper
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: I read the first half of that sentence
Phoemeister: and I thought you were going to say "but I would totally live in a trailer with a rottweiler"
Sui: hahah
Phoemeister: the louisiana hot sauce part was a let down after that