this is long but worth it

Phoemeister: anyway, I'm well aware that I do not have good hair. I
grow it out with the sole intention of spiting my mother.
Suibrom: ohaha
Phoemeister: And I just give in and cut a whole bunch off every so
often because I hate brushing it
Suibrom: that works
Phoemeister: seriously though, she hates it so much
Suibrom: what would she prefer? just shave your head?
Phoemeister: no, like a crazy ass shag with sideburns like she has
Phoemeister: and that I sported K-6
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: ew
Suibrom: perm!
Phoemeister: that's what I'm saying
Phoemeister: eh.... I didn't mean perm
Suibrom: sporting the white girl fro!
Phoemeister: though I did have a perm at one time
Suibrom: I'm glad I didn't know you then
Suibrom: because you'd hate me
Phoemeister: like.... Florence Henderson on the brady bunch has a shag
Suibrom: for making fun of you
Phoemeister: only neither my mom or I had the longish bit
Suibrom: haha gotcha
Phoemeister: well I think you would've at least come up with better
insultes than the stupid kids at my grade school
Phoemeister: "hee hee it looks like you stuck your finger in a light socket."

"not really."
Phoemeister: actually what I think we had was the pixie cut
Phoemeister: this would be my mom if she was fatter:
http://www.wigsalon.com/img/full/wildfire.jpg
Phoemeister: also she doesn't use hairspray, it pretty much lays flat
Suibrom: ew :\
Phoemeister: EXACTLY
Suibrom: that woman looks angry too
Phoemeister: so that's why I wear my hair as long as possible
Suibrom: and like she probably has a bad smoker's voice
Phoemeister: even though that doesn't look that good either
Phoemeister: I know
Suibrom: "PHOE CLEAN YOUR ROOM"
Phoemeister: when I saw that picture I was like, "if my mom wore a ton
of makeup and was slighly more masculine, and skinnier, that would be
her."
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I laugh because I hear you saying that in my head
Suibrom: haha yeah
Phoemeister: this is kind of how my mom has it, no spikes. And you
can see the weirdass sideburns more clearly in that picture:
http://www.hellomagazine.com/imagenes/actualidad/imgActualidad/2005/10/06/sadiepic.jpg
Suibrom: yeah I think only some chicks can pull that off
Phoemeister: my mom is not one of them
Suibrom: and definitely not.. women of larger stature
Phoemeister: neither could I as a child
Suibrom: I think short hair on fat chicks just makes them look.. fatter
Phoemeister: and that's considering kids are more pixish
Suibrom: in that picture you just sent, I can kinda see a little
nipple poking out there
Suibrom: so that one is okay
Phoemeister: haha, I hadn't thought about it. I've never seen my mom
with any haircut but that
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I dunno, apparently that picture was in hello magazine,
so I'm thinking she's a british celebrity of some sort
Phoemeister: yeah, there's definately nipple there
Suibrom: yeah
Phoemeister: I am so bored I actually went back to check after you said that
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: and/or I love nipple that much
Suibrom: I think you just love nipple
Phoemeister: I BEAT YOU TO IT
Suibrom: yeah actually I didn't say that until I'd seen what yo utyped
Suibrom: I was just agreeing with you
Phoemeister: oh
Phoemeister: so several photos I found for that cut were from a wig website
Phoemeister: so now I am looking at wigs
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: wow, there's this one on the front that is so fake
Suibrom: thinking of just shaving it all off and getting a wig?
Phoemeister: that would be nice, I hate my hair
Phoemeister: only I would hate wigs too
Phoemeister: I don't like hats
Phoemeister: a wig would suck even more
Suibrom: yeah but that would be freaky to be getting it on with some
chick, and her hair came off
Phoemeister: so I think that scary woman I showed you first was raquel welch
Phoemeister: well I think she would try and make sure it was securely
fastened before getting it on with you
Phoemeister: she resents that you would mention that to her!
Phoemeister: barely a year after the chemo!
Suibrom: haha just with me?
Phoemeister: other guys it's like, "whatever let the wigs fall as they may"
Suibrom: what if i like pulling hair when I get it on?
Phoemeister: but you're special
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: well then maybe you shouldn't get it on with someone wearing a wig
Suibrom: well then, I guess the girls I get it on with better never have cancer
Phoemeister: seriously, isn't this the fakest wig you've ever seen?
http://wigsalon.com/img/sbut/amandasbut.jpg
Phoemeister: haha, you're a jerk :P
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: that does look pretty fake
Phoemeister: the woman's face looks kind of fake too though
Phoemeister: so I guess it goes
Suibrom: maybe the whole head is fake
Phoemeister: it's also supposed to be a rachel do, I can tell
Phoemeister: yeah, the scary woman is definately raquel welch
Phoemeister: she's all over this site
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/guys.html
Phoemeister: for you
Phoemeister: when you get chemo
Phoemeister: she's had so much plastic surgery that she looks like a
predatory animal now
Phoemeister: ooooh, if I buy now I can get a free wig pick
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: I want the "jackie" wig
Suibrom: on that page
Suibrom: or maybe the one at the top
Phoemeister: there's a jackie wig on the guy page?
Suibrom: http://wigsalon.com/wigx.htm?wig=1447
Phoemeister: HAHA
Phoemeister: it's a mullet
Phoemeister: did I tell you that a customer with a mullet came up to
me while I was wearing the mulletproof tee shirt and said "shame on
you"? :P
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: geez, why so many mullet wigs?
Phoemeister: by the way the dude who is modeling the jackie totally
looks like mike
Suibrom: I might go for the "Ron" if the moustache comes with it
Suibrom: http://wigsalon.com/wigx.htm?wig=1445
Phoemeister: you should ask him what he's been up to in between
nailing his mom and rottweilers
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: and the chin dimple
Suibrom: yeah of course
Suibrom: that comes standard
Suibrom: that guy totally looks like a news caster
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: don't you think Jackie looks like mike?
Phoemeister: or am I totally crazy
Phoemeister: I only ever saw mike once
Suibrom: hmm kind of
Suibrom: I think maybe my mind is too distracted by the mullet
Phoemeister: you're right though, a lot of the guy wigs look like they
should be telling me that I'm worthless and then giving me poor
directions to high school basketball games
Phoemeister: haha
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/justinet.gif worst
arrangement of hair for a hair picture ever
Phoemeister: it looks like the hair's trying to strangle her
Phoemeister: or take over the brain
Phoemeister: what little is left
Phoemeister: the vacant look says the hair has already won
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: "I... Like... hair..."
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/boycutt.gif
Phoemeister: if that's not the original picture I showed you
Suibrom: haha it's not
Phoemeister: I think it's hilarious there's two of her that angry
Suibrom: it's close though
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/banners.gif

she looks happy but still strangely horrible in that one too
Suibrom: yeah still really bad
Suibrom: "uglyasswigsonangryladies.com"

Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: she looks so sad.... http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/paigeropt.gif
Phoemeister: POWER!!! http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/powert.gif
Suibrom: wouldn't you be if that thing was attacking your head?
Phoemeister: touche
Suibrom: TOO MUCH POWER

Phoemeister: hah
Phoemeister: I love how the one I just showed you, power, is facing
this one, so it looks like they're looking at each other:
http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/marcy-wigst.gif
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: brilliant
Suibrom: "Don't look at me marcy"
Phoemeister: I wonder if the guy who put this page together did that
on purpose because he hates his job
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: marcy is definately into Raquel
Phoemeister: and then right next to that is fancy free!
http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/fancyfreet.gif
Phoemeister: I love that face she's making
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: that is so lame
Phoemeister: I would not describe it as fancy free
Suibrom: more like "someone just got fancy free in my ass"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I love this website
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/benefitaet.gif

I would call that one evil genius.
Suibrom: I'd agree, or at least evil henchman
Phoemeister: I'd get this one just to tell people I got the Scorpio
wig. http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/scorpiorevt.gif
Suibrom: it's scary though
Phoemeister: Raquel Welch is more scary than anything ever:
http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/mystiquet.gif
Phoemeister: Isabeele? What the hell kind of name is that?
http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/isaballerevt.gif
Phoemeister: most of these women have the names of cheap strippers
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: this one says, "my husband and children left me because I
focused too hard on my career"

http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/katiet.gif
Phoemeister: this is the least bad picture of her so far, but she
still is like, "I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL."

http://wigsalon.com/img/full/elan.jpg
Phoemeister: heh, I know you love perms so much.....
http://wigsalon.com/img/thumb/anniet.gif
Suibrom: ew : ()
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: proof
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: http://wigsalon.com/bannermt.gif
Phoemeister: scariness
Suibrom: yeah that is scary
Suibrom: it's like.. the same wig
Suibrom: only on a black chick
Suibrom: and now it's "motown"
Phoemeister: I know!
Phoemeister: it's still better than this one
http://www.wigsalon.com/img/thumb/onikamtt.gif
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: SHE'S A MAN, BABY!
http://www.wigsalon.com/img/thumb/julietmtt.gif
Suibrom: I think most of them have been men
Phoemeister: true
Phoemeister: aw, I'm so tempted to sign you up for the wig newsletter
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/costumes2005.html
Suibrom: strange.. I'm so tempted to stab you in the clavicle
Phoemeister: that's a bone
Suibrom: that's right
Suibrom: so you know I'm gonna stab hard
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: I love how offensive this page is:
http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/ethnic.html
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: especially the al sharpton dude on the white mannequin
Phoemeister: actually they're all on white mannequins
Phoemeister: and they're all ugly
Suibrom: I totally want the "samurai wig"
Suibrom: or.. "oriental guy"
Phoemeister: haha, it's so fake
Phoemeister: yeah, I like oriental guy
Phoemeister: wait, I WORK WITH THAT GUY EVERY DAY
Phoemeister: only he's white
Phoemeister: and obsessed with star wars
Phoemeister: I like how better geisha is not better at all
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: or "japanese beast"
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: I like how sad all the mannequins look
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: I would be too
Phoemeister: like.... "you can put this on us, but we will not smile."
Suibrom: why does the "african native" look strangely like michael jackson?
Phoemeister: the mannequin they use for alfalfa, freedom afro, dennis
rodman, and don king looks like it's going to cry
Phoemeister: haha
Suibrom: and the "Discount tarzan dreads" and "marley dreads" are
exactly the same picture
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: they are
Phoemeister: I like how will smith is a woman
Suibrom: haha yeah
Phoemeister: haha, the sad mannequin's in afro super deluxe too, and
it's all the more hilarious to see the sad face just barely peaking
out of all the rainbow colored hair
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/fairytales.html
Phoemeister: the face looks kind of angry in the alfalfa one.
Like..... I did afro super deluxe..... but what the fuck?
Suibrom: I like how "bart simpson" looks abso-fucking-lutely nothing like it
Suibrom: same with "beavis"
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I haven't loaded it yet
Suibrom: last I checked, beavis doesn't have bright fucking orange hair
Phoemeister: I love how to get around copyright problems they call the
grinch the schrinch
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: "teenage magician" wtf? What fairy tale is that?
Phoemeister: and how they get annie the musical confused with a fairy tale
Suibrom: I like how there are 3 tiers of annie wigs
Phoemeister: and Kruell is obviously supposed to be cruella DeVil
Phoemeister: lol.... yeah, like really how much selection do you need?
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: the penguin is just a really sad bald man
Suibrom: "hmm I really want to look like annie, but I don't really
have the money for the full deal.. let's go with the bargain one"
Phoemeister: I bet if I go to historical figures the exact same photo
is there for ben franklin
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: but I want the better bargain!
Phoemeister: YES
Phoemeister: japanese beast makes a reprise
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: LOL, I love the horribleness of the beavis, butthead, and bart
Suibrom: what kind of crazy purple haired pinnochio is that?
Phoemeister: I KNOW
Phoemeister: "gay pinocchio"
Phoemeister: "bargain gay pinnochio"
Phoemeister: "better bargain gay pinocchio"
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/beards.html
Suibrom: "NOW WITH MORE PINK FRIZZ"
Phoemeister: discount sideburns!
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: oh noooo
Phoemeister: viking mustache?
Suibrom: I like the "biblical"
Phoemeister: I will pay you money to grow a beard like the biblical
Suibrom: or maybe.. "Discount beard m-55"
Suibrom: should I grow my hair out like that too?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I love how the pointed goatee is not pointed
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: the top kinda has some point things
Suibrom: it's all about the discount sideburns or the mutton chops though
Phoemeister: totally
Phoemeister: my mom grows her own sideburns
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/historical.html
Suibrom: I always loved a woman with a handlebar moustache, sideburns,
and a smoker's cough
Phoemeister: I love how Willie Nelson is in with historical figures
Suibrom: hahaha
Suibrom: what the fuck
Phoemeister: LOL
Suibrom: since when did mark twain, and frederick douglass have purple hair?
Suibrom: and buffalo bill has a mullet
Phoemeister: you should get the buffalo bill set, and pretend it's the
other buffalo bill
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: maybe they're going to hook up with pinnochio later
Suibrom: and it's scary that the "alber einstein" eybrows are wigs of their own
Phoemeister: "venetian man" what?
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: he had big eyebrows but not like that
Suibrom: haha look at the "deluxe mark twain"
Suibrom: the eybrows like.. curl down to his cheeks
Phoemeister: it wouldn't load for me :/
Suibrom: if youclick on it it does
Phoemeister: thanks for teaching me the ways of wigsalon.com
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: he looks like a schnauzer
Phoemeister: again, the mannequin looks very sad in the frederick douglas photo
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/tvstars.html jackpot
Suibrom: I think it's funny that they have a "novelty wigs" section,
when all of these are pretty much novelty wigs
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: I love the confused look on the president bush mannequin
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: and how they call sharon osbourn "oz mom" so that they
won't get sued
Suibrom: yeah
Phoemeister: haha, annie's in there again
Phoemeister: she's a celebrity!
Suibrom: I like how the two princess "leah"s are almost exactly the
same, just one picture is taken further away
Suibrom: if they're not exactly the same
Suibrom: which my eyes may just be messing with me on them
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: I do enjoy the mispelling
Suibrom: yeah
Suibrom: that's a nice touch
Phoemeister: and how mo from the three stooges has purple hair again
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: he's totally punk rock
Suibrom: didn't you know
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: do you know what I like to imagine? Someone actually
seriously using this website to like, shop for wigs via the internet
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: god I hope so
Suibrom: I need more people to mock
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/specmen.html
Phoemeister: well you gotta figure they must sell some or they
would'nt have this whole elaborate setup
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/specmen.html

I love how the mohawk isn't even a mohawk
Phoemeister: haha, we both went to the same place
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: and the tupee looks like an alien
Suibrom: yeah the toupee is scary
Phoemeister: I love how there are a ton of women mannequins in the men
specialty wigs section
Suibrom: haha yeah
Phoemeister: and the long crew cut is like...... random sea urchin
hair in no way resembling a crew cut
Suibrom: they'r e part of the "long crew"
Phoemeister: haha
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/20thcent.html


Phoemeister: I love how the gigantic behive is the marge simpson
pretty much from a different angle
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: why is the "1840" in the 20th century wigs?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I like the breathlass madonna. "Her hair looks like she
can't breathe!"
Suibrom: the barbie beehive looks nothing like a beehive
Phoemeister: I know
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: pony tail and beehive are so easy to get confused
Suibrom: "bargain drag queen" ?
Suibrom: what the hell?
Phoemeister: I love how that's in the woman's section
Phoemeister: wouldn't it be a man?
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: and it's a woman manaquin
Phoemeister: yes!
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: the screwed up names in the halloween section is awesome
Phoemeister: I would love to get one of these for halloween and be
like, "Hey, what's the matter? You don't reccognize 1840 when you see
it?"
Suibrom: "wolfrene"
Suibrom: "X movie"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I'm praying for japanese beast a third time
Suibrom: aww it's not in here
Phoemeister: pumpkin girl hat?
Phoemeister: wtf?
Phoemeister: awww
Suibrom: how does that "pirate wig" look like a pirate?
Phoemeister: I like how the cousin it is a stool
Phoemeister: I haven't loaded that yet
Phoemeister: haha, mad scientist is the same as fredrick douglas
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: it's not purple!
Suibrom: so he's am ad scientist
Phoemeister: he was an orator.......... AND HE PLAYED GOD
Phoemeister: oh
Phoemeister: it's against nature for your hair not to be purple!
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: "I have made an amazing scientific discovery! Non-purple
hair! muahahah"
Phoemeister: haha, the pirate wig is what I would call the joey
lawrence if it was lighter colored
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: why would you put the "rabbit wig" on the male head
Suibrom: especially the scary looking one
Phoemeister: I wonder why none of the batman stuff is misspelled
Phoemeister: LOL, i know
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: if that came to my party
Suibrom: it's totally like some child molester
Phoemeister: I'd be like, "no."
Suibrom: trying ot get into a kid's party
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: hahahah
Suibrom: just look at it
Suibrom: I can't stop laughing
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: "I'm a child molester only I really suck at it, I
couldn't evne get a real bunny costumne"
Phoemeister: I KNOW
Phoemeister: me too
Phoemeister: every time I stop I look at it again
Suibrom: I just picture that guy coming to your front door "I'm here
for your son's birthday party"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I see him with nothing else on too
Suibrom: hahaha yeah
Suibrom: ah that is pure gold
Phoemeister: man
Phoemeister: maybe I should take down Ocean's 11 and put that up
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: it's kind of small though
Suibrom: I can't help but laugh every time I look at it
Phoemeister: I do love it though
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: yeah I tried to click on it to get a bigger one
Phoemeister: I think I'm kind of over it
Suibrom: but it takes me back tothe front page
Phoemeister: me too :/
Phoemeister: maybe I should put together a medly of my favorit wigs
Suibrom: is "WolfRene" one?
Phoemeister: haha
Suibrom: or maybe princess Leah
Phoemeister: it's alright
Phoemeister: yes, that one's awesome
Phoemeister: bart simpson
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: biblical beard
Suibrom: the rabbit one is just... awesome
Phoemeister: pumpkin girl
Phoemeister: I know
Suibrom: it's like he got this gay white fro wig, and glued some cheap
rabbit ears on it
Suibrom: "Surprise I'm a bunny!"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: do you know what I love? The fact that you and I can
have like...... a 3 hour discussion on wigs
Phoemeister: and like a full hour of that is on a child molester bunny wig
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: yeah, i'm feeling much better now
Phoemeister: I'm glad
Suibrom: I don't hate people nearly as much when I can mock them incessantly
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: I like how the "bargain china doll" and the "china doll" look
like they're going to kiss
Suibrom: and the "Gina - china doll" looks all jealous
Phoemeister: haha, they really do
Phoemeister: she's sad!
Phoemeister: "I can't look"
Suibrom: yeah
Suibrom: she wants in on the othe china doll action
Suibrom: but they keep neglecting her
Phoemeister: but they don't want her
Phoemeister: "No pastels!"
Suibrom: and rabbit guy is jerking it looking through some little boy's window
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: I just totally picture rolling over in bed
Suibrom: and just seeing that
Suibrom: through your window
Suibrom: just from like.. the shoulder up like that
Phoemeister: mad scientist looks like you just told him something he
didn't expect and he's like, "WHAT!?!?!?!"
Phoemeister: "....bunny guy did WHAT at a childrent's party!?"
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: LOL.... it's like that burger king ad
Phoemeister: porcupine wig looks like, "Okay, can I just go back to
child molesting?"
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: I'm totally going to replace all those "wake up with the
king" burger king ads with that guy's face now
Phoemeister: pumpkin girl grows on me every time I see it
Suibrom: instead of that big scary king head
Suibrom: it's going ot be the naked guy with the rabbit wig
Phoemeister: yes
Phoemeister: which would still be pretty scary
Suibrom: haha yeah
Phoemeister: I love how crappy it is
Phoemeister: like the one ear looks like it's going to fall off
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: it's just soooo bad
Suibrom: so child molesterish
Suibrom: "I see you threw out your old easter costumes.. well I picked
them out and made my own"
Phoemeister: teenage musician is like, "Keep bunny guy away from me!"
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: blah I really should sleep
Suibrom: I'm going to go to bed and have terrible nightmares about rabbit guy
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: me too!
Phoemeister: ........or do you mean awesomeares/
Suibrom: man I'm going ot buy that wig
Suibrom: and bring it iwth me when I visist you
Suibrom: visit
Phoemeister: he'll try to molest you but you'll be laughing too hard
to fight him off
Suibrom: and wear it whe nI get off the plane
Phoemeister: lol.... wear it at the airport and convince rebecca that
I am a freak for letting you in my home
Phoemeister: haha, you beat me too it
Phoemeister: the thing is, though
Phoemeister: you wouldn't even have to buy it
Phoemeister: you could make that yourself
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: "take it off!"
"but I made it just for you...."
Suibrom: I'm not sure if that would be less funny or more
Suibrom: because I could totally come up with a terrible rabbit wig
Suibrom: even as bad as that
Phoemeister: hey, I spent an hour making that is less sad than I spent
fifty bucks on that
Suibrom: haha true
Suibrom: I wouldn't even spend an hour
Suibrom: though it might take me that long to find something that
passes as ugly curly white hair
Phoemeister: here's some $1 epoxy
Phoemeister: here's a wig
Phoemeister: here's some felt
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: haha
Suibrom: cotton balls!
Suibrom: i'm gonna use cotton balls
Phoemeister: lol, you're so sad
Suibrom: and some construction paper
Phoemeister: http://www.wigsalon.com/wigx.htm?wig=2263
Phoemeister: I wish it came in a different color
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: but then it wouldn't be pumpkin girl
Suibrom: haha " Popular style used as a base for a new costume idea "
Phoemeister: I know!
Phoemeister: what?
Suibrom: yeah I bet it's really popular
Phoemeister: popular?
Phoemeister: what new costume idea?
Suibrom: that's what it says in the description
Phoemeister: yeah, I did read that
Phoemeister: I just meant I was like, "popular?"
Suibrom: haha yeah
Phoemeister: "what new costume idea?" when I read it
Suibrom: popular with whom?
Phoemeister: child molesters
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: we can't all be bunny guys
Suibrom: that's a big demographic
Suibrom: wouldn't want to leave them out
Phoemeister: some of us have to make it in as pumpkin girls
Suibrom: yeah you go to a child molester convention and everyone has
the bunny wig
Suibrom: sometimes you just want to stand out
Phoemeister: that's what I'm saying!
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: okay I really should sleep
Phoemeister: OH MY GOD
Phoemeister: wait just a sec
Suibrom: I will talk to you tomorrow :-D

Suibrom: enjoy your sweet rabbit dreams
Suibrom: whaaaaat
Phoemeister: tell me this guy didn't just throw more crappy hair on
top of his bunny wig:
http://www.wigsalon.com/citywigs/img/thumb/partygentlemen_t.gif
Suibrom: hahahah
Suibrom: he's even got the ears still there
Phoemeister: haha, anyway, you can go to bed now, I just had to share
that with you
Suibrom: they're just covered with more crappy hair
Suibrom: hahaha
Phoemeister: I know!
Suibrom: "no no, really.. I'm a colonial noble!"
Suibrom: "i'm not a rabbit at all"
Phoemeister: LOL
\
Phoemeister: I started the convulsive laughter all over again
Suibrom: hahah yeah
Suibrom: man that's pure genius
Suibrom: I wonder if it comes off
Suibrom: and he's like "Fooled you, I really AM a rabbit!"
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: okay okay.. need sleep
Phoemeister: and then afterwards he takes the bunny off and is like,
"fooled you, I really AM a child molester"
Phoemeister: goodnight
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: good one :-D
Suibrom: night night, talk to you tomorrow
Phoemeister: indeed

:x

Me: What is :X supposed to be?
Me: no one's mouth is an X
Ryan: Haha it's kind of like..
Ryan: at least how I take it to be is sort of like.. "shut your mouth" with sort of a "I shouldn't say that" kind of thing
Ryan: like.. "I heard you like doing people in the ear :X"
Me: How did you know :X
Ryan: I dunno I just kind of picked it up and use it when it feels appropriate
Ryan: haha see? I think "how did you know? :X" would be appropriate use
Ryan: it's kind of like.. putting your hand up to your mouth and being all "oo"
or something
Ryan: Like.. I would say.. "I should be working, but I'm totally not :X"
Me: I found the discarded body of a hamburger helper child :X
Ryan: haha yeah good use
Ryan: not to be confused with "I slammed my finger in the door :\" or "Man I hate black people :"
Ryan: but it could be used for "I just slammed a black person in the door :X"
Me: LOL
Me: Racist men turn me on :X
Ryan: haha
Ryan: nice
Ryan: See? You're getting the hang of it!
Ryan: also "I just slammed my finger in a black person :X"
Me: I'd like to forward this conver to my black boss
Ryan: haha
Ryan: "The use of :X in the Office"
Ryan: "My grandma just died :( " "I just killed my grandma :X"
Me: I love you :) I love pooing on you :x
Ryan: haha yeah
Ryan: ))<>((
Me: BEST SMILEY EVER
Ryan: (o) === ==== === (o)
Me: haha it's sad that you are trying to improve the pooping back and forth smiley
Ryan: It's pretty hard to beat the original though
Me: it's pretty hard to beat it to the original :x
Ryan: I dunno, it's pretty easy for me :X

Ryan: and you're too classy to be shot
Me: being shot is less classy than being brained with a shovel?
Ryan: yeah. you gotta put the effort into hitting someone with a shovel
shooting someone is just like "eh bang you're dead"
Me: aww I'm glad that you put the effort into it
Me: I wouldn't have it any other way!
Ryan: I would also molest your corpse, if I were the one doing the braining
so take comfort in that!
Me: yaaaaaaaaaay
Me: I'm glad it's not just about the killing
Me: that it's also about the molesting
Ryan: yeah
Me: you are silly
Me: you only kill as an excuse to molest
Ryan: is that really so silly?
Ryan: I do what I enjoy as an excuse to do what I love
Ryan: kind of like working with computers as an excuse to be around little kids
Ryan: TO MY EMPLOYERS WHO ARE WATCHING THAT WAS A JOKE
Me: IT REALLY IS, HE HATES COMPUTERS

I was never there

So.... this was two different conversations with two different people where I started pasting what they said to each other: (I can't help posting so many convers! It's a disease!)

Talia: that Sui you talk to all the time is a guy?
Phoemeister: yeah
Talia: I totally thought that person was a girl... from the way they talked
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Phoemeister: I'm going to have to tell him that
Talia: go right ahead
Phoemeister: he actually has about as dirty a mind as you
Talia: believeable... even males preists have dirty mines
Phoemeister: .....he's not a priest
Phoemeister: where did you get that??
Talia: I meant that all men, even priests, have dirty mind

So I told him, adding:

Phoemeister: That's probably a compliment, though, considering for the last ten minutes we were discussing several really losery guys :P
Sui: hahah
Suibrom: I'm not really sure what to say to that :-)

Sui: hahah
Sui: Father Si
Sui: I like the sound of that
Phoemeister: ha, loser! You can't spell your own name
Sui: yeah I'm so drunk
Sui: off that communion wine

Phoemeister: I dunno. I just thought it was funny as hell.
Phoemeister: Considering 90% of our convers are sexual innuendo.
Phoemeister: You secret girl, you
Sui: haha
Sui: maybe your friend is trying to insinuate she thinks you're a lesbian

Talia: no, I just thought HE was [a lesbian]

Phoemeister: You're a lesbian priest!
Sui: hahah
Sui: nice
Sui: my dream come true!
Sui: you never see lesbians being accused of child molestation

Talia: he's never been to Florida then
Sui: haha
Sui: that's right.. I was never there
Sui: and if anyone asks.. you tell them the same

a team

Phoemeister: OH, you actually talked to him, he's the guy who answered the phone when you called me up with the A team theme song
Sui: ah gotcha
Sui: he's a tool!
Phoemeister: lol
Phoemeister: why do you say that?
Sui: he ruined a perfectly good joke
Phoemeister: aww
Phoemeister: well he's really nice other than that
Sui: yeah.. you ruined it too
Sui: and I still talk to you
Sui: so.. can't fault him too much
Phoemeister: I used to be really scared of him, though. Because he looks exactly like this really mean bastard from WEAK
Phoemeister: ha ha :P

I admit, I did ruin it. But I said sorry...
Sui: no sorry can ever repay the ruined a-team call!
Phoemeister: maybe one day I'll call you up at the school
Phoemeister: and be like my computer is fucked up do you have an IT guy?
Sui: haha
Phoemeister: a sexy IT guy, with dead babies in his basement?
Phoemeister: and they'll be like, "Ryan!"
Sui: "are you a parent of one of our children?"
Sui: oh yeah
Sui: that'll go over well :P
Phoemeister: and I'll play you the A team theme song
Phoemeister: well
Phoemeister: okay
Phoemeister: I'lll pretend to be a kid
Phoemeister: and say you touched me inappropriately
Sui: haha
Sui: I hate you : P
Phoemeister: you LOVE me

life: the thing in between fixes

Sui: Haha I'm such a terrible person
Sui: You ready for this?
Sui: Now this is just a quick throw-together
life
Sui: Bare witness to my genius!
Phoemeister: that was not your best joke
Phoemeister: the bare witness thing
Phoemeister: I'm still opening the picture
Sui: But it's okay, I know
Sui: because you'd be giving a "ROFLMAO" if you had it open
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Sui: See? what'd I tell you?
Phoemeister: you told me!
Phoemeister: so are those people you know or random photos you found?
Sui: Just random people
Sui: I thought it would be better that way
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: in case someone finds this on your computer
Phoemeister: and are like, "MY GOD"
Phoemeister: I thought he spent all his time alone in the bathroom masturbating, not shooting up!
Sui: The dogs face is perfect
Sui: as is the old man with a million kids
Sui: and I had to throw in a flailing baby
Sui: haha
Sui: I'll probably jerk it to this later, no worries
Phoemeister: yeah, that random old guy frightened me. I seriously thought you were trying to involve child molestation into this
Phoemeister: you said, "I'm terrible" right before you said that to me, so I really thought it did involve child molestation, not just drugs
Sui Child molestation is a part of life too!
Sui: Drugs: What I do to get past the guilt
Phoemeister: you feel guilt? I thought guilt was anathema to you.
Sui: no, that's what the old man says
Phoemeister: Oh, okay
Sui: he does drugs to get past the guilt of the child mollestation
Phoemeister: you just like drugs and child molestation
Sui: At the same time!
Sui: By the time I'm done mollesting.. whoever (or whatever) I'm so high I forgot what I was doing in the first place
Sui: Guilt-free living
Phoemeister: Are you sure you don't just get high on children? "Hello, friends! Have you ever tried to snort a baby, and it was too big? How many times have you tried to inject a preschooler into your veins, but the little girl was crying too much? Well, have we got an invention for you!"
Sui: I prefer to inject my vein into preschoolers, not vice versa
Phoemeister: we are both going to hell
Phoemeister: immediately
Sui: It will be an awesome trip though
Sui: You tell him you're not done yet
Sui: And that my mother would like to see him
Phoemeister: "I still have much of your bidding to do here on earth."