me: I'll probably let you go th3en
my butt is killing me
softly
with it's song
suibrom: With his song
me: my butt's a lady
suibrom: Haha
You sure?
me: yes
suibrom: She's a laaaady
me: whoa whoa whoa
suibrom: Whoa oh oh
me: every good conversation ends with a Tom Jones Song

OH YEAH

Suibrom (12:30:35 PM): so I have a.. moral dilemma
phoemeister (12:30:49 PM): do NOT cheat on Brooke with the Kool Aid man
Suibrom (12:30:51 PM): haha
phoemeister (12:31:03 PM): OH YEAH
Suibrom (12:31:03 PM): but he promised me all the kool aid I could drink
phoemeister (12:31:13 PM): he lies
Suibrom (12:31:15 PM): and that we could bust through any brick wall I wanted
phoemeister (12:31:23 PM): well that part is true
Suibrom (12:31:35 PM): I could ride around inside him
Suibrom (12:31:41 PM): and just drink all the koolaid I wanted
phoemeister (12:31:42 PM): haha you're so creepy
Suibrom (12:31:49 PM): haha come on
Suibrom (12:31:51 PM): that would be awesome
Suibrom (12:31:59 PM): swimmin around inside the kool aid man
Suibrom (12:32:02 PM): bustin through walls
Suibrom (12:32:08 PM): all that ice would be great in the summer
phoemeister (12:32:14 PM): haha

phoemeister (12:07:04 PM): I ought to make you do the rest of the song
Suibrom (12:08:27 PM): i'll make you do the rest of the DONG
phoemeister (12:08:42 PM): why, I could never
phoemeister (12:08:44 PM): it's ;so big
Suibrom (12:08:49 PM): haha
Suibrom (12:09:11 PM): well, I can't argue with that
phoemeister (12:10:38 PM): Mr. T is very well endowed
phoemeister (12:15:58 PM): mango tea is delicious!
Suibrom (12:18:18 PM): are those two related?
phoemeister (12:21:27 PM): no
phoemeister (12:21:31 PM): unless you want them to beeee
Suibrom (12:21:35 PM): maybe I do
Suibrom (12:21:52 PM): maybe I want to think that mr. t's well endowed member dispenses mango tea
phoemeister (12:22:18 PM): mmm delicious
phoemeister (12:22:26 PM): note to self: give Mr. T a blow job
Suibrom (12:22:52 PM): haha
Suibrom (12:23:00 PM): Aye, there's the rub
Suibrom (12:23:02 PM): it would rip your head off
Suibrom (12:23:17 PM): you're just gonna have to let him dispense it himself
phoemeister (12:23:39 PM): ah
phoemeister (12:23:43 PM): I can watch
phoemeister (12:23:45 PM): I bet he talks to it
phoemeister (12:23:49 PM): pities it
phoemeister (12:23:57 PM): and tells it to stop with the jibba jabba
Suibrom (12:24:28 PM): haha he does
Suibrom (12:24:41 PM): he also stammers "jibba jabba" right before he finishes
phoemeister (12:25:34 PM): hahaha
phoemeister (12:26:08 PM): mr t is the perfect man
phoemeister (12:26:13 PM): but what woman could tame him?
Suibrom (12:26:30 PM): he only listens to his gold jewelry and his mohawk
phoemeister (12:26:39 PM): exactly
phoemeister (12:26:44 PM): they tell him to do terriblee thingw
phoemeister (12:26:59 PM): like that musical after school special he did in the 80's
phoemeister (12:27:06 PM): including the hit song, "respect your mother"

Wolf parade

phoemeister (12:29:14 AM): at least I didn't send you what I bought yesterday
Ryan (12:29:35 AM): haha what's that?
phoemeister (12:30:02 AM): the new Wolf Parade
Ryan (12:30:11 AM): how is it?
phoemeister (12:30:30 AM): Eh... not as good as the other one. I don't know if you'd think that is good or bad considering how you felt about the other.
phoemeister (12:30:46 AM): A lot more slower tempo less catchy songs. So I may like it in time, but not that much now.
phoemeister (12:31:08 AM): I don't even know if it's wolf parade's fault, though. I haven't really liked anything or listened to much music-wise for awhile now
Ryan (12:33:07 AM): I'll just go ahead and blame wolf parade

Racism

phoemeister (11:00:31 PM): can you dress up as a woman
phoemeister (11:00:33 PM): fly over here
phoemeister (11:00:38 PM): and do my interviews for me?
Suibrom (11:01:03 PM): haha
Suibrom (11:01:07 PM): I don't think it would work out too well
Suibrom (11:01:24 PM): "well you seem to be great for the job, except we don't hire transvestites"
phoemeister (11:02:07 PM): haha lies!
phoemeister (11:02:11 PM): they already hired me, the interview's for a promotion!
phoemeister (11:02:23 PM): and if they don't promote a cross dresser they're racist
phoemeister (11:02:31 PM): cause I'm going to make you wear blackface too
Suibrom (11:07:50 PM): haha
Suibrom (11:07:53 PM): i'll do it

Home Alone

phoemeister (10:33:19 PM): you should like boobytrap the office
phoemeister (10:33:21 PM): home alone style
phoemeister (10:33:24 PM): to keep them out
Suibrom (10:33:28 PM): haha
phoemeister (10:35:34 PM): you have to promise to do the "aaaaah" too
phoemeister (10:35:46 PM): and make Joe Pesci be there too
Suibrom (10:39:36 PM): haha of course
phoemeister (10:40:01 PM): and daniel stern
phoemeister (10:40:12 PM): THATS RIGHT I KNOW THE LESS FAMOUS BAD GUY FROM HOME ALONE'S NAME
Suibrom (10:40:14 PM): did you have to look up his name?
Suibrom (10:40:16 PM): haha
phoemeister (10:40:18 PM): no, sadly

gaaay

(12:41:59 AM) me: god I know I'm a nerd but
(12:42:06 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: nerd butt!
(12:42:09 AM) me: the pictures of the guys that show up for me on okcupid are so nerdy it hurts
(12:44:14 AM) me: why am I on this fucking site?
(12:44:18 AM) me: I don't want to date anyone
(12:44:28 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:44:32 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: good question?
(12:44:38 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: there's no one datable on that site anyway
(12:44:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: except us
(12:45:16 AM) me: for real
(12:45:23 AM) me: and I have my doubts about me
(12:45:35 AM) me: I should find all straight women
(12:45:41 AM) me: and try to turn them
(12:46:23 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:46:26 AM) me: I found a contortionist chick
(12:47:06 AM) me: "I'm 22 years old. I like Cinderella and contortion. If I could do anything I would want to be a contortionist for a living but alas that isn't in my cards therefore psychology it is! I am very relaxed and read a lot."
(12:47:34 AM) me: maybe she could give me free therapy
(12:47:38 AM) me: "I am a first year clinical counseling psych student. I want to work with the chronically mentally ill (read crazy people) because I think they're fun. I graduate next May and hope to get a job soon after that eep!"
(12:47:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: You should reply "You'd have to be relaxed to be a contortionist! Also, do you read while you contort?"
(12:47:46 AM) me: haha
(12:48:17 AM) me: we could watch old musicals together
(12:48:20 AM) me: this woman is perfect for me
(12:48:29 AM) me: and we could read medical naratives together
(12:48:38 AM) me: plus she's just asking to be turned
(12:48:41 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:48:55 AM) me: number 4 on her 6 things she could never do without are birkinstocks
(12:49:11 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "dear [insert name], have you ever considered lesbianism? Neither had I until recently. Maybe we can enjoy trying it out for the first time together!"
(12:49:18 AM) me: haha
(12:49:39 AM) me: she watches cheerleeding on ESPN
(12:49:40 AM) me: totally gay
(12:49:43 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:49:53 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: unless she wants to BE a cheerleader
(12:50:08 AM) me: nah it'd be up there with "i want to be a contortionist" if she wanted to be one
(12:50:10 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: the only other reason is to jerk it to mini-skirt wearing gymnist high school girls
(12:50:17 AM) me: exactly
(12:50:22 AM) me: she's a pedophile like me too
(12:50:24 AM) me: it all works
(12:50:29 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(12:50:35 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: totally made for eachother
(12:51:25 AM) me: for real
(12:51:35 AM) me: now all I gotta do is start being a lesbian
(12:51:44 AM) me: maybe your lesbian friends could give me tips
(12:52:01 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha Step 1> you have to like vagina
(12:52:43 AM) me: do they have any sub steps
(12:52:47 AM) me: on how to like vagina?

Ryan is right

(10:58:03 AM) me: even more annoyed with my dad, but whatever
(10:59:51 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: doh why?
(10:59:57 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: what's going on now?
(11:00:17 AM) me: well I decided to stay to accept the delivery
(11:00:24 AM) me: but then he decided he's all going to come over
(11:00:40 AM) me: which I don't want because I'm working on Josh's 6 month anniversary card
(11:01:22 AM) me: I mean I don
(11:01:39 AM) me: 't want the delivery dudes to see stuff lying around about hamsters eating their children and goat penises
(11:01:43 AM) me: but I sure don't want my dad to
(11:03:09 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(11:03:31 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: maybe it'll give your dad a wake up call that he should stay away when you tell him to
(11:03:38 AM) me: hahaha
(11:04:59 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: to really hammer that home you should be masturbating to pictures of hamsters eating their children
(11:05:21 AM) me: hahah
(11:05:30 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: speaking of
(11:05:36 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: my friend stacy had a hamster years ago
(11:05:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and she named it Ryan
(11:05:43 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but it turned out to be a girl
(11:05:51 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and it would always eat all of its babies
(11:05:58 AM) me: it's just like you!
(11:06:24 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha it so is
(11:06:38 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I remember talking to her and she's like "Ryan you ate all your babies again!"
(11:06:46 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: and I kept saying "free renewable food source!"