several convers in one post

me: I've always really enjoyed fabric softner smell. Like that was the only thing I liked about college, my dorm floor always smelled like fabric softner.
it was not worth the 40 grand
I do not like fabric softener that much

suibrom: haha
that's some expensive fabric softener

me: haha for real

suibrom: it better like.. go down on you while it does your laundry

me: haha who says it doesn't?
I mean it's really my hand, but the fabric softner oil on the sheet is great lube
and it makes me smell awesome down there

suibrom: haha

me: and softer, actually


me: There's an agent who works for us named Bill Pancake

suibrom: haha awesomest name ever

me: Yeah I've known about it a long time and think it's awesome
but the other day I found out we have an agent named Butterworth, and I want to like, get a petition going saying they have to go into business together

suibrom: how does your family make that change though? "Honey, I'm tired of being the Nexttowatersons. You know what I love? Fucking PANCAKES. That's our new last name. You're now Brunhilda Pancake.


me: what exactly does "doughty" mean? I think I have an idea, but I want to make sure that it's right to never want to read a book where the heroine is described on the back cover as "doughty"

suibrom: haha it means the bitch talks back and gotsta be slapped

me: okay that's what I thought

suibrom: like.. brave or

me: and it does make me want to slap them

suibrom: fearless?

me: oh well thtat's okay

suibrom: I guess is a good word fo it

me: I thought it meant like "spunky"

suibrom: I think it kind of does in that it's like "I'm gonna be brave and stand up no matter what"

which could definitely be "spunk"

me: anyone who you have to be told is spunky isn't really spunky

suibrom: and the only spunk I want in my romance novels, should be coming out of the male characters

me: haha it wasn't a romance novel, it was a fantasy novel

suibrom: same thing!

me: but yeah I was like, "doughty"? fuck that bitch

suibrom: haha

maybe it said "doughy" as in she's fat but they wanted to be nice about it

me: haha no there was a T. If it WAS doughy, I'd want to read it more, not less. I like a character I can identify with
that's why I have so many pillsbury cookbooks

suibrom: hah
I'd read a pillsbury fantasy book
put THAT in your belly button and "hee hee" about it

me: haha
that is a good phrase
maybe there's a novelization of the ghostbuster movie
that might technically be a pillsbury fantasy book
oh wait that's not the dough boy
that's stay puft marshmallow man

suibrom: I bet there are stay-puffed marshmallow man erotic fan fictions

me: same dif
haha I bet that you are their main demographic

suibrom: "OH GOD I GOT YOUR MARSHMALLOW CREAM ALL OVER ME"

me: "get me all sticky, marshmallow man!"
oh god, I'm going to come on your face!
then you see Staypuft's angry face

suibrom: hahah
http://www.delaneynetwork.com/archives/stay-puft-angry.jpg

me: hahah exactly
that's what I saw in my head when I said that
wow the conversation pretty much comes to a halt after something like that

suibrom: yeah, really.. where do you go from there?

me: no where
it can't really get funnier from there

suibrom: except maybe that that's the same face when getting it in the butt

me: but yet nothing else seems to be worth discussing after that
HAHA

me: and I can't make fortune cookies worth a shit anyway
suibrom: make them fortune balls
me: you're a fortune ball
suibrom: I know. rub them,I will tell your fortune. YOUR HANDS WILL SMELL OF BALL SWEAT IN THE NEAR FUTURE
me: no thank you, my fortune will be "you just rubbed some guy's balls"
suibrom: hahah
me: hahah you should become a fortune teller "let me gaze into my crystal balls" then you look down your pants "your fortune is I think I have chlaymidia"
suibrom: haha "and now so do you"
me: you'd be a great fortune teller
suibrom: I'd wear a big shiny turban and everything
me: oooh shiney. that way you'd be labeled gay instead of a terrorist
suibrom: Madam Chlamydia what, terrorists can't be gay?
me: they can but the gen. public doesn't know that. they think you're after your 45 virgin GIRLS or whatever. not your 45 slutty gay guys
suibrom: haha can they all be firemen?
me: if what you blow up is important enough
suibrom: awesome. That's like the ultimate terrorist. no one suspects the flamboyantly gay hair dresser
me: haha I didn't see it, but wasn't that adam sandler movie Zohar about that/
suibrom: haha yeah probably. it was adam sandler. there was probably a gay terrorist involved somewhere
me: ah, adam sandler. how I used to enjoy your movies. what happened?
suibrom: he stopped being a funny, immature 20-something, and just grew up into a sad, pathetic 40-something
me: wow. you know everthing

phoemeister (2:19:37 PM): I enjoy made up racist words or curses
Suibrom (2:19:43 PM): haha I know you do
phoemeister (2:20:19 PM): Zwan it all! My Harry Mullen Jr. is going to Adam Clayton those bovely japs!
phoemeister (2:20:29 PM): only you know what that means
phoemeister (2:20:31 PM): does it frighten you?
phoemeister (2:20:41 PM): if I die you'll be the only one
phoemeister (2:20:54 PM): to hold up the torch of our made up curse words and racial slurs
Suibrom (2:21:22 PM): hahah
Suibrom (2:21:35 PM): that is the best sentence ever created in the history of written and spoken language
phoemeister (2:21:40 PM): hahah thanks
Suibrom (2:22:24 PM): I have one of those that I have with brooke, and I think mike was there so he's a part of it
Suibrom (2:22:31 PM): I mis-heard her say something to me
Suibrom (2:22:52 PM): and I thought she said "You can get the pirates"
Suibrom (2:23:12 PM): and I thought it was some kind of new england figure of speech for "go fuck yourself"
phoemeister (2:23:21 PM): hahahaha
Suibrom (2:23:25 PM): she had actually said "you can get the parts" or something like that
Suibrom (2:23:27 PM): but it's stuck
phoemeister (2:23:42 PM): I might have to start using it too just because pirates are awesome

phoemeister (11:21:41 AM): we should be buddy cops
phoemeister (11:21:47 AM): and every week Mike is the perp
Suibrom (11:21:48 AM): that would be awesome
Suibrom (11:21:56 AM): you're the wild card
Suibrom (11:22:10 AM): and i'm the old about-to-retire guy?
phoemeister (11:22:23 AM): yeah unless you want two wild cards, bitches!
Suibrom (11:22:28 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:22:35 AM): I'm too old for that shit
phoemeister (11:22:52 AM): hahah YES
phoemeister (11:24:02 AM): we could both be widcards who are about to retire
Suibrom (11:24:08 AM): haha
Suibrom (11:24:22 AM): I'm too old for this MOTHER COCK GIRAFFE DONKEY

me: I'll probably let you go th3en
my butt is killing me
softly
with it's song
suibrom: With his song
me: my butt's a lady
suibrom: Haha
You sure?
me: yes
suibrom: She's a laaaady
me: whoa whoa whoa
suibrom: Whoa oh oh
me: every good conversation ends with a Tom Jones Song

OH YEAH

Suibrom (12:30:35 PM): so I have a.. moral dilemma
phoemeister (12:30:49 PM): do NOT cheat on Brooke with the Kool Aid man
Suibrom (12:30:51 PM): haha
phoemeister (12:31:03 PM): OH YEAH
Suibrom (12:31:03 PM): but he promised me all the kool aid I could drink
phoemeister (12:31:13 PM): he lies
Suibrom (12:31:15 PM): and that we could bust through any brick wall I wanted
phoemeister (12:31:23 PM): well that part is true
Suibrom (12:31:35 PM): I could ride around inside him
Suibrom (12:31:41 PM): and just drink all the koolaid I wanted
phoemeister (12:31:42 PM): haha you're so creepy
Suibrom (12:31:49 PM): haha come on
Suibrom (12:31:51 PM): that would be awesome
Suibrom (12:31:59 PM): swimmin around inside the kool aid man
Suibrom (12:32:02 PM): bustin through walls
Suibrom (12:32:08 PM): all that ice would be great in the summer
phoemeister (12:32:14 PM): haha

phoemeister (12:07:04 PM): I ought to make you do the rest of the song
Suibrom (12:08:27 PM): i'll make you do the rest of the DONG
phoemeister (12:08:42 PM): why, I could never
phoemeister (12:08:44 PM): it's ;so big
Suibrom (12:08:49 PM): haha
Suibrom (12:09:11 PM): well, I can't argue with that
phoemeister (12:10:38 PM): Mr. T is very well endowed
phoemeister (12:15:58 PM): mango tea is delicious!
Suibrom (12:18:18 PM): are those two related?
phoemeister (12:21:27 PM): no
phoemeister (12:21:31 PM): unless you want them to beeee
Suibrom (12:21:35 PM): maybe I do
Suibrom (12:21:52 PM): maybe I want to think that mr. t's well endowed member dispenses mango tea
phoemeister (12:22:18 PM): mmm delicious
phoemeister (12:22:26 PM): note to self: give Mr. T a blow job
Suibrom (12:22:52 PM): haha
Suibrom (12:23:00 PM): Aye, there's the rub
Suibrom (12:23:02 PM): it would rip your head off
Suibrom (12:23:17 PM): you're just gonna have to let him dispense it himself
phoemeister (12:23:39 PM): ah
phoemeister (12:23:43 PM): I can watch
phoemeister (12:23:45 PM): I bet he talks to it
phoemeister (12:23:49 PM): pities it
phoemeister (12:23:57 PM): and tells it to stop with the jibba jabba
Suibrom (12:24:28 PM): haha he does
Suibrom (12:24:41 PM): he also stammers "jibba jabba" right before he finishes
phoemeister (12:25:34 PM): hahaha
phoemeister (12:26:08 PM): mr t is the perfect man
phoemeister (12:26:13 PM): but what woman could tame him?
Suibrom (12:26:30 PM): he only listens to his gold jewelry and his mohawk
phoemeister (12:26:39 PM): exactly
phoemeister (12:26:44 PM): they tell him to do terriblee thingw
phoemeister (12:26:59 PM): like that musical after school special he did in the 80's
phoemeister (12:27:06 PM): including the hit song, "respect your mother"

Wolf parade

phoemeister (12:29:14 AM): at least I didn't send you what I bought yesterday
Ryan (12:29:35 AM): haha what's that?
phoemeister (12:30:02 AM): the new Wolf Parade
Ryan (12:30:11 AM): how is it?
phoemeister (12:30:30 AM): Eh... not as good as the other one. I don't know if you'd think that is good or bad considering how you felt about the other.
phoemeister (12:30:46 AM): A lot more slower tempo less catchy songs. So I may like it in time, but not that much now.
phoemeister (12:31:08 AM): I don't even know if it's wolf parade's fault, though. I haven't really liked anything or listened to much music-wise for awhile now
Ryan (12:33:07 AM): I'll just go ahead and blame wolf parade