Me: I need to find this so I can jerk it hard
Me: "Small posed for a pictorial that appeared in the (cover-dated) April 2006 issue of Playgirl magazine, as part of a humor-themed issue. AdultSwim.com, the official website of the television programming block for which it's named, reported on March 7, 2006, that Small posed wearing "nothing but a Viking helmet". The Playgirl official website further described a "'strategically-placed' Viking helmet", indicating that Small's genitals were not exposed in the pictorial."
Suibrom: haha uh ohs :X
SpankingGnome: I kid
SpankingGnome: if it doesn't even show his genitals what good is it to me?
Suibrom: you can stare at his viking helmet
SpankingGnome: I'm not good enough at photo shop to put someone else's genitals on there
Suibrom: use your mind!
SpankingGnome: my masturbation demands verisimiltude, Ryan
Suibrom: get a hotdog
Suibrom: man I need to rig a way
Suibrom: for every time I ride my motorcycle
Suibrom: thunderhorse is BLASTING from it
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: man
Suibrom: this is like a combination of everything I love
Suibrom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mVMz5D509I
SpankingGnome: haha holy crap
SpankingGnome: it really is
SpankingGnome: you're going to dump brooke for this video
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: I thought about it for a second
Suibrom: but it's missing boobs and vagina
SpankingGnome: haha don't tell her that
SpankingGnome: haha I guess she's safe then
Suibrom: if I could find some way.. for brooke to always be playing thunderhorse.. and for me to see 300 playing in her eyes
Suibrom: it would be perfect
SpankingGnome: hahahah
SpankingGnome: you are a horrible, horrible man
Suibrom: what I'll do
Suibrom: is ride around on my motorcycle that's blasting thunderhorse
Suibrom: with a spear, and a red cape
Suibrom: and brooke on the back
SpankingGnome: haha
SpankingGnome: and a hawk on your shoulder
SpankingGnome: or else you drive with one hand and have your hawk fist just out there
Suibrom: word
Suibrom: haha I could have the hawk on the handlebars
Suibrom: with his own goggles
SpankingGnome: haha
SpankingGnome: the hawk gets it's own sidecar
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: that works too
SpankingGnome: haha you should get the metalocalypse motorcycle
SpankingGnome: with all 5 spots
Suibrom: I WOULD
SpankingGnome: and brooke rides behind you
Suibrom: if I could find it
SpankingGnome: and then like the hawk and I get our own sidecars
Suibrom: I would put you and brooke and mike and chris in it
Suibrom: the hawk would ride on top of my helmet
SpankingGnome: I think the hawk deserves a better place than mike
SpankingGnome: we could just drag mike along behind
Suibrom: well I'm not freakin' putting mike on my helmet
SpankingGnome: hahahahah
SpankingGnome: yeah, this dream would turn into a nightmare right about then
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: do not fuck this up for me
SpankingGnome: haha
Suibrom: that's my happy place right there
Suibrom: riding around in the dethcycle blasting thunderhorse
SpankingGnome: in the 300 outfit
Suibrom: word
Suibrom: I would also jump out at the end like nathan does in the intro
SpankingGnome: and spear the persian king as you do it?
Suibrom: damn straight
SpankingGnome: you would have to take him everywhere with us
SpankingGnome: just so you could stab him when you get there
Suibrom: I'll just go to Iran
Suibrom: and start stabbing persians
SpankingGnome: that's one way to go
SpankingGnome: racist
Suibrom: I wonder if the Iranians are complaining about 300 like the jews complained about The Passion of the Christ
Suibrom: it makes people hate us!
SpankingGnome: haha they don't even care
SpankingGnome: they already hate us
SpankingGnome: so they like it when we hate them
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: on that note
Suibrom: it's time to sleep
SpankingGnome: "good! I'm glad we piss them off!"
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
dead
(9:06:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: are you still jerking it to gay manlove?
(9:06:35 PM) Me: well obviously but I can multitask
(9:08:36 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I can type with one hand!
(9:09:08 PM) Me: yeah but since you're jerking it to the man love
(9:09:11 PM) Me: AND playing a game
(9:09:14 PM) Me: you have no time for me
(9:09:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(9:09:42 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "you jerk it all the time, and neever have time for my needs"
(9:11:35 PM) Me: basically
(9:11:39 PM) Me: I mean sure gay porn is awesome
(9:11:47 PM) Me: but I am too
(9:12:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: true
(9:12:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I can't jerk it to you
(9:12:48 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I mean I can, but it's kind of mixed feelings.. because it makes me sad to picture you dead
(9:06:35 PM) Me: well obviously but I can multitask
(9:08:36 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I can type with one hand!
(9:09:08 PM) Me: yeah but since you're jerking it to the man love
(9:09:11 PM) Me: AND playing a game
(9:09:14 PM) Me: you have no time for me
(9:09:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: haha
(9:09:42 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: "you jerk it all the time, and neever have time for my needs"
(9:11:35 PM) Me: basically
(9:11:39 PM) Me: I mean sure gay porn is awesome
(9:11:47 PM) Me: but I am too
(9:12:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: true
(9:12:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: but I can't jerk it to you
(9:12:48 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: I mean I can, but it's kind of mixed feelings.. because it makes me sad to picture you dead
slutty wolverine
(6:00:24 PM) Me: I went around looking for a halloween costume
(6:00:27 PM) Me: and didn't find what I wanted
(6:01:15 PM) JeffTMBG: as long as you leave the apartment it counts as productive in my book. what kind of costume are you looking for.
(6:02:59 PM) Me: I want to be Wolverine
(6:03:04 PM) Me: but I can't find it anywhere
(6:04:36 PM) JeffTMBG: Wolverine is not a very popular character. Everyone is all about Beast these days.
(6:05:19 PM) Me: haha there's no beast either
(6:05:22 PM) Me: no x men at all
(6:05:29 PM) Me: just spider man
(6:05:48 PM) Me: not even any decent batman
(6:06:13 PM) JeffTMBG: If it hasn't had a movie in the past year, it doesn't exist.
(6:06:32 PM) Me: apparently
(6:06:43 PM) Me: it's all freakin pirates of the carribean stuff
(6:06:48 PM) Me: poop
(6:06:51 PM) Me: fake women
(6:06:59 PM) Me: and slutty outfits
(6:11:00 PM) JeffTMBG: You could probably augment the slutty outfits into a decent slutty Wolverine costume.
(6:11:48 PM) Me: haha.... how do you go from slutty barmaid, slutty pirate wench, or slutty geisha to slutty wolverine?
(6:13:20 PM) JeffTMBG: There's gotta be a way.
(6:14:03 PM) JeffTMBG: Once you have the claws and the arm hair, you can just say Wolverine got a job as a barmaid to work his way through college.
(6:14:10 PM) Me: hahaha
(6:14:34 PM) Me: then pirates attacked and he was forced to be their wench
(6:14:42 PM) Me: and then they sailed to japan and left him there
(6:15:36 PM) JeffTMBG: You laugh,but that is exactly the plot to the upcoming Wolverine movie.
(6:17:16 PM) JeffTMBG: In fact, the year the movie is released, you'll be able to buy a pre-made slutty Wolverine barmaid costume.
(6:00:27 PM) Me: and didn't find what I wanted
(6:01:15 PM) JeffTMBG: as long as you leave the apartment it counts as productive in my book. what kind of costume are you looking for.
(6:02:59 PM) Me: I want to be Wolverine
(6:03:04 PM) Me: but I can't find it anywhere
(6:04:36 PM) JeffTMBG: Wolverine is not a very popular character. Everyone is all about Beast these days.
(6:05:19 PM) Me: haha there's no beast either
(6:05:22 PM) Me: no x men at all
(6:05:29 PM) Me: just spider man
(6:05:48 PM) Me: not even any decent batman
(6:06:13 PM) JeffTMBG: If it hasn't had a movie in the past year, it doesn't exist.
(6:06:32 PM) Me: apparently
(6:06:43 PM) Me: it's all freakin pirates of the carribean stuff
(6:06:48 PM) Me: poop
(6:06:51 PM) Me: fake women
(6:06:59 PM) Me: and slutty outfits
(6:11:00 PM) JeffTMBG: You could probably augment the slutty outfits into a decent slutty Wolverine costume.
(6:11:48 PM) Me: haha.... how do you go from slutty barmaid, slutty pirate wench, or slutty geisha to slutty wolverine?
(6:13:20 PM) JeffTMBG: There's gotta be a way.
(6:14:03 PM) JeffTMBG: Once you have the claws and the arm hair, you can just say Wolverine got a job as a barmaid to work his way through college.
(6:14:10 PM) Me: hahaha
(6:14:34 PM) Me: then pirates attacked and he was forced to be their wench
(6:14:42 PM) Me: and then they sailed to japan and left him there
(6:15:36 PM) JeffTMBG: You laugh,but that is exactly the plot to the upcoming Wolverine movie.
(6:17:16 PM) JeffTMBG: In fact, the year the movie is released, you'll be able to buy a pre-made slutty Wolverine barmaid costume.
ass poisoning
(5:12:31 PM) Me: and actually this time I was being sarcastic :P
(5:13:13 PM) Optimus Prime: yes, but I defeated your sarcasm by taking it seriously
(5:13:40 PM) Me: it felt like being a little girl whose parents told her she will never be pretty
(5:14:09 PM) Optimus Prime: oh... btw....
(5:14:12 PM) Me: ?
(5:14:25 PM) Optimus Prime: c'mon, now
(5:14:29 PM) Optimus Prime: think
(5:14:30 PM) Me: you're not my mom!
(5:14:35 PM) Optimus Prime: no...
(5:14:40 PM) Optimus Prime: I was going to say...
(5:14:49 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll never be pretty
(5:14:56 PM) Me: yeah and I was saying you're not my mom
(5:15:03 PM) Me: so it's not my parents telling me I'll never be pretty
(5:15:14 PM) Me: someone who just bangs my mom doesn't count
(5:15:44 PM) Optimus Prime: well, I'm like your dad in that respect
(5:16:12 PM) Me: yeah but you still aren't my real daddy
(5:16:46 PM) Me: your opinion is nothing!
(5:16:58 PM) Optimus Prime: I can still take you over my knee, girl!
(5:17:20 PM) Me: and then I'll have you arrested as a sex offender, creepy step dad
(5:17:31 PM) Me: "she touched my butt"
(5:17:42 PM) Optimus Prime: right
(5:17:46 PM) Optimus Prime: except you're not a minor
(5:18:37 PM) Optimus Prime: I'll tell them you wanted me to spank you
(5:18:41 PM) Me: well then maybe I'll join the army and fight for my country
(5:18:45 PM) Optimus Prime: after all, I do have a nice collection of floggers
(5:19:25 PM) Me: I'm going to coat my ass in poison so whoever touches it dies horribly
(5:19:35 PM) Me: but like in a way so that it doesn't touch me
(5:19:42 PM) Optimus Prime: that's what the floggers are for. someone will pay me extra for that
(5:19:58 PM) Me: I don't want "Phoexx0r died of ass poisoning today" as part of my obit
(5:20:16 PM) Optimus Prime: well, your obit will most likely be ass related
(5:20:42 PM) Me: haha "her colon finally EXPLODED! We knew it would happen sooner or later. Steve won the pool, he picked Oct 13"
(5:20:55 PM) Optimus Prime: exactly
(5:21:57 PM) Me: what day did you bet on? I can make you rich
(5:22:26 PM) Optimus Prime: nah, I don't like dirty money
(5:22:29 PM) Optimus Prime: that would be cheating
(5:23:28 PM) Me: haha you're already betting on the date of an ass death of a close friend
(5:23:37 PM) Me: and now you have scruples?
(5:24:00 PM) Optimus Prime: don't split hairs
(5:24:09 PM) Optimus Prime: you're going to die anyway
(5:24:10 PM) Me: haha
(5:25:05 PM) Me: you're a ray of sunshine
(5:25:30 PM) Optimus Prime: well ... c'mon
(5:25:36 PM) Optimus Prime: we all gotta go sometime
(5:25:43 PM) Optimus Prime: your colon just makes it more interesting
(5:25:45 PM) Optimus Prime: and messy
(5:25:52 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:14 PM) Me: "crap everywhere! this is awesome!"
(5:26:25 PM) Me: Eh, I probably would rather crapstorm than alzheimers
(5:26:27 PM) Me: so I got that going for me
(5:26:41 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll prolly both
(5:26:51 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:57 PM) Me: "how did all this get here?"
(5:27:07 PM) Me: "oh wait now I'm dead"
(5:29:21 PM) Optimus Prime: that's how it happens a lot
(5:29:38 PM) Optimus Prime: mostly alzheimer's patients forget to go to the toilet when they have to crap
(5:29:39 PM) Me: well I guess technically most people have a minor crap storm
(5:29:45 PM) Me: since your bowels escape
(5:29:45 PM) Optimus Prime: you'd prolly die from the smell
(5:29:54 PM) Optimus Prime: evacuate
(5:30:11 PM) Me: quiet, you
(5:30:17 PM) Optimus Prime: they don't actually break free of their own volition
(5:13:13 PM) Optimus Prime: yes, but I defeated your sarcasm by taking it seriously
(5:13:40 PM) Me: it felt like being a little girl whose parents told her she will never be pretty
(5:14:09 PM) Optimus Prime: oh... btw....
(5:14:12 PM) Me: ?
(5:14:25 PM) Optimus Prime: c'mon, now
(5:14:29 PM) Optimus Prime: think
(5:14:30 PM) Me: you're not my mom!
(5:14:35 PM) Optimus Prime: no...
(5:14:40 PM) Optimus Prime: I was going to say...
(5:14:49 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll never be pretty
(5:14:56 PM) Me: yeah and I was saying you're not my mom
(5:15:03 PM) Me: so it's not my parents telling me I'll never be pretty
(5:15:14 PM) Me: someone who just bangs my mom doesn't count
(5:15:44 PM) Optimus Prime: well, I'm like your dad in that respect
(5:16:12 PM) Me: yeah but you still aren't my real daddy
(5:16:46 PM) Me: your opinion is nothing!
(5:16:58 PM) Optimus Prime: I can still take you over my knee, girl!
(5:17:20 PM) Me: and then I'll have you arrested as a sex offender, creepy step dad
(5:17:31 PM) Me: "she touched my butt"
(5:17:42 PM) Optimus Prime: right
(5:17:46 PM) Optimus Prime: except you're not a minor
(5:18:37 PM) Optimus Prime: I'll tell them you wanted me to spank you
(5:18:41 PM) Me: well then maybe I'll join the army and fight for my country
(5:18:45 PM) Optimus Prime: after all, I do have a nice collection of floggers
(5:19:25 PM) Me: I'm going to coat my ass in poison so whoever touches it dies horribly
(5:19:35 PM) Me: but like in a way so that it doesn't touch me
(5:19:42 PM) Optimus Prime: that's what the floggers are for. someone will pay me extra for that
(5:19:58 PM) Me: I don't want "Phoexx0r died of ass poisoning today" as part of my obit
(5:20:16 PM) Optimus Prime: well, your obit will most likely be ass related
(5:20:42 PM) Me: haha "her colon finally EXPLODED! We knew it would happen sooner or later. Steve won the pool, he picked Oct 13"
(5:20:55 PM) Optimus Prime: exactly
(5:21:57 PM) Me: what day did you bet on? I can make you rich
(5:22:26 PM) Optimus Prime: nah, I don't like dirty money
(5:22:29 PM) Optimus Prime: that would be cheating
(5:23:28 PM) Me: haha you're already betting on the date of an ass death of a close friend
(5:23:37 PM) Me: and now you have scruples?
(5:24:00 PM) Optimus Prime: don't split hairs
(5:24:09 PM) Optimus Prime: you're going to die anyway
(5:24:10 PM) Me: haha
(5:25:05 PM) Me: you're a ray of sunshine
(5:25:30 PM) Optimus Prime: well ... c'mon
(5:25:36 PM) Optimus Prime: we all gotta go sometime
(5:25:43 PM) Optimus Prime: your colon just makes it more interesting
(5:25:45 PM) Optimus Prime: and messy
(5:25:52 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:14 PM) Me: "crap everywhere! this is awesome!"
(5:26:25 PM) Me: Eh, I probably would rather crapstorm than alzheimers
(5:26:27 PM) Me: so I got that going for me
(5:26:41 PM) Optimus Prime: you'll prolly both
(5:26:51 PM) Me: haha
(5:26:57 PM) Me: "how did all this get here?"
(5:27:07 PM) Me: "oh wait now I'm dead"
(5:29:21 PM) Optimus Prime: that's how it happens a lot
(5:29:38 PM) Optimus Prime: mostly alzheimer's patients forget to go to the toilet when they have to crap
(5:29:39 PM) Me: well I guess technically most people have a minor crap storm
(5:29:45 PM) Me: since your bowels escape
(5:29:45 PM) Optimus Prime: you'd prolly die from the smell
(5:29:54 PM) Optimus Prime: evacuate
(5:30:11 PM) Me: quiet, you
(5:30:17 PM) Optimus Prime: they don't actually break free of their own volition
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
soul
(11:37:02 PM) Me: jesus saves
(11:37:36 PM) Andi: and earns interest on your soul at 5.5%
(11:37:44 PM) Me: haha
(11:37:46 PM) Me: nice
(11:37:56 PM) Me: by the time I die I'm going to be james brown I'll have so much soul
(11:38:28 PM) Andi: you're not "superbad"
(11:41:26 PM) Me: eh?
(11:45:20 PM) Andi: james brown's huge hit was "i got soul....i'm superbad"
(11:45:48 PM) Me: oh
(11:45:49 PM) Me: sorry
(11:46:02 PM) Me: I'm so soulless I can't even reference james brown properly
(11:46:21 PM) Andi: yr killing me smalls
(11:37:36 PM) Andi: and earns interest on your soul at 5.5%
(11:37:44 PM) Me: haha
(11:37:46 PM) Me: nice
(11:37:56 PM) Me: by the time I die I'm going to be james brown I'll have so much soul
(11:38:28 PM) Andi: you're not "superbad"
(11:41:26 PM) Me: eh?
(11:45:20 PM) Andi: james brown's huge hit was "i got soul....i'm superbad"
(11:45:48 PM) Me: oh
(11:45:49 PM) Me: sorry
(11:46:02 PM) Me: I'm so soulless I can't even reference james brown properly
(11:46:21 PM) Andi: yr killing me smalls
nickelback
Nickelback doesn't promote Satanism. Satan actually promotes them. They're his tool to destroy the record industry. A whiney, successful tool.
(1:14:24 PM) Tina: yeah, it's probably why about 3 songs start playing at once when I go to your page :-p
(1:16:19 PM) Me: uh
(1:16:24 PM) Me: there should only be the 1
(1:16:38 PM) Me: if there's anything else it's an ad or something
(1:16:49 PM) Me: it used to be a Wolf Parade song, now it's an Oppenheimer
(1:16:59 PM) Tina: several start so I have to try to get the page to scroll down so I can click comment quick
(1:17:09 PM) Tina: and I'm torturing people by using Nickelback on my page
(1:17:18 PM) Me: Oh Tina, why would you do t;hat
(1:17:26 PM) Me: you are promoting satanism
(1:17:52 PM) Tina: I actually like them :-p
(1:18:01 PM) Me: well then you actually like satan
(1:18:40 PM) Me: I gave my heart to Vishnu
(1:14:24 PM) Tina: yeah, it's probably why about 3 songs start playing at once when I go to your page :-p
(1:16:19 PM) Me: uh
(1:16:24 PM) Me: there should only be the 1
(1:16:38 PM) Me: if there's anything else it's an ad or something
(1:16:49 PM) Me: it used to be a Wolf Parade song, now it's an Oppenheimer
(1:16:59 PM) Tina: several start so I have to try to get the page to scroll down so I can click comment quick
(1:17:09 PM) Tina: and I'm torturing people by using Nickelback on my page
(1:17:18 PM) Me: Oh Tina, why would you do t;hat
(1:17:26 PM) Me: you are promoting satanism
(1:17:52 PM) Tina: I actually like them :-p
(1:18:01 PM) Me: well then you actually like satan
(1:18:40 PM) Me: I gave my heart to Vishnu
well....
It's just a cover, I really was laughing at him thinking I want to watch his jujitsu group.
(1:07:29 PM) Mike: i know this might not super interest you, but my jujitsu group just got a website online
(1:07:30 PM) Mike: http://asujujitsu.org/
(1:07:51 PM) Mike: there is also a youtube link at the bottom with some videos
(1:08:48 PM) Me: hahaha
(1:09:11 PM) Mike: ?
(1:10:43 PM) Me: I wonder if I could register the domain www.fuckamidgetintheasswhileheorshedoeslinesofcocaineoffyourmotherstitswhileshegivesoraltoalargeblacktransvestitenunsingingselectionsfromthesoundofmusic.com
(1:11:21 PM) Mike: maybe!
(1:11:28 PM) Mike: also: you have wierd thoughts!
(1:07:29 PM) Mike: i know this might not super interest you, but my jujitsu group just got a website online
(1:07:30 PM) Mike: http://asujujitsu.org/
(1:07:51 PM) Mike: there is also a youtube link at the bottom with some videos
(1:08:48 PM) Me: hahaha
(1:09:11 PM) Mike: ?
(1:10:43 PM) Me: I wonder if I could register the domain www.fuckamidgetintheasswhileheorshedoeslinesofcocaineoffyourmotherstitswhileshegivesoraltoalargeblacktransvestitenunsingingselectionsfromthesoundofmusic.com
(1:11:21 PM) Mike: maybe!
(1:11:28 PM) Mike: also: you have wierd thoughts!
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