bathroom sets

Phoemeister: oh, I forgot to mention to you today I was talking to this guy Todd at work, and he said something so much lik eyou that I wanted to be like, "Ryan?"
Phoemeister: basically we were talking about this bitchy old woman we used to work with
Phoemeister: and just out of nowhere Todd's like, "I think sleeping with her was a mistake"
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: brilliant
Phoemeister: and then goes onto say that if he DID get the chance, he WOULD tap that just to humiliate her the next day :P
Phoemeister: good times
Suibrom: I would say something like that
Phoemeister: you would
Phoemeister: I have never talked to Todd all that much because he's on inventory team, so I don't see him that often, but for some reason he's been around more today and yesterday, and I've decided he's hilarious
Suibrom: and his name is todd
Suibrom: does he drive a van?
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I should ask him that
Phoemeister: I used to think that whenever I saw him
Phoemeister: but then I forgot because Todd has not featured prominently in many of the more recent comics
Phoemeister: I should ask him if his first time was to Blood Beagle
Phoemeister: but then he'd be like, "wha?"
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: He's also taught me to say:

"You know what? Fuck you!"
Phoemeister: which in theory I knew how
Phoemeister: but he gave me the confidence I needed
Suibrom: that is an important thing to know
Suibrom: also "Close your legs grandma! No one wants to see your silver cotton candy!"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: what's that from?
Suibrom: i think it was on an episode of Mad TV
Suibrom: but I forget
Phoemeister: ah
Suibrom: find be a cool shower curtain!
Phoemeister: eh?
Suibrom: find me, rather
Phoemeister: oh
Phoemeister: um
Phoemeister: I think you should just write that cotton candy thing on a plain white one.
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: I think all your guests would be very impressed
Suibrom: what about something like this?
Suibrom: http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/images/product_ima ges/fullsize/pal087.jpg
Phoemeister: haha. I say you should cut out the blank face
Phoemeister: and stick your head out like one of those cutouts they have at amusement parks
Suibrom: I think it's clear
Suibrom: and that's the point
Phoemeister: damn
Phoemeister: I am not half as cool as I thought I was
Phoemeister: I dunno
Phoemeister: I think it is not very hot
Phoemeister: or cool
Suibrom: i agree
Suibrom: I was joking ; P
Phoemeister: oh
Phoemeister: I suppose it is so gay it could be funny
Phoemeister: you should get something really horrible
Phoemeister: like pink bunnies
Phoemeister: or yellow chicks
Phoemeister: or monkeys flinging poo at each other
Phoemeister: guess what?
Suibrom: whaaaat
Phoemeister: well, you know how annoying it is when people say literally when they don't mean something literally?
Suibrom: yeah
Phoemeister: I've decided I'm going to do the opposite and start saying literally in sentences where there's no possible interpretation BUT the literal interpretation
Phoemeister: Ryan literally lives in Las Vegas!
Phoemeister: I literally live with my parents!
Phoemeister: I'm literally 5'6"
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: nice
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: I am literally sitting here talking to you
Phoemeister: OH MY GOD, I'm literally doing the exact same thing!
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: although technically we're not
Suibrom: because w're not talking
Suibrom: so that might not work
Phoemeister: well we can just have the same thing
Phoemeister: only IMing
Suibrom: indeed
Phoemeister: I'm literally sitting here IMing you
Phoemeister: I've literally never been mauled by a bear
Suibrom: I have also literally never been mauled by a bear
Phoemeister: wow, I literally did not know that about you, though I suspected
Phoemeister: Are you literally an IT guy?
Suibrom: I literally am
Phoemeister: I literally had food for lunch
Suibrom: I literally have not eaten since about noon yesterday
Phoemeister: that is literally very bad for you
Suibrom: yeah I am literally hungry
Phoemeister: you should literally go out and get something
Suibrom: I should
Suibrom: what should I eat?
Phoemeister: you know what I'm going to say
Phoemeister: why do you even ask?
Suibrom: damn you
Suibrom: because I thought maybe this once you might be helpful
Phoemeister: fine fine fine
Phoemeister: get some chinese
Suibrom: taco bell is somewhat valid since it's just down the street
Phoemeister: TACO BELL
Suibrom: I ate chinese like.. 5 times this weekend
Phoemeister: hells yeah
Suibrom: I need something else
Phoemeister: well I knew you liked chinese
Phoemeister: I was trying to think outside of the box
Phoemeister: if it was me I'd say burger hot dog or taco bell
Suibrom: chinese are good, but kind of moody sometimes
Suibrom: hmm the closest burger place is mcdonalds.. and i think I'd rather stab myself than eat there
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: hot dogs are good.. and wienerschnitzel is kind of close.. but I did have that last week
Phoemeister: pizza
Suibrom: got pizza at home in the fridge.. probably have that for dinner
Phoemeister: look, there's a finite amount o fthings that are fairly cheap
Phoemeister: the only thing left is like, subway
Suibrom: hmm
Phoemeister: so unless you want me to tell you to get prime rib
Suibrom: prime rib is literally awesome
Phoemeister: it is
Phoemeister: it's literally pretty expensive though
Suibrom: yeah it is
Phoemeister: so that's why I did not suggest it at the outset
Suibrom: you should literally buy me some prime rib for lunch
Phoemeister: I literally would if I 1) had the money and 2) literally lived near you
Suibrom: well you better literally do get to work on that
Phoemeister: well what would I do if I literally lived in Vegas?
Phoemeister: I am literally pretty bad at stripping
Suibrom: hang out with me and buy me prime rib of course
Phoemeister: aww :-) that would be nice
Phoemeister: I bet you make more than I do, though
Phoemeister: so I would make you buy me prime rib
Suibrom: yeah probably
Suibrom: but I'm also poor from paying all the bills
Phoemeister: true dat
Suibrom: perhaps we can pool our money and share a single prime rib
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: niice
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=104967&RN=10
Suibrom: this is the closest I can come to the shower curtain I have in my mind
Phoemeister: what is the shower curtain IN YOUR MIND?
Suibrom: it is the thin veil I pull over the evil parts to keep me from GOING INSANE
Suibrom: oh you mean the shower curtain I have pictured in my mind?
Phoemeister: LOL.... that's why I said IN YOUR MIND, because it sounded something like that.

but yeah, I did wonder about what you had pictured
Suibrom: it's kind of like that.. but with one big bamboo pattern on the curtain instead of repeating small ones
Suibrom: like.. hmm
Phoemeister: I'm disapointed that there are no actual pandas
Phoemeister: I know what you mean though
Phoemeister: I'd like to have a Saddam Hussein-esque shower curtain
Phoemeister: with like, a naked woman riding a dragon or something
Phoemeister: I think it would be hilarious
Suibrom: hahh
Suibrom: or maybe a wizard on a unicorn flying over a rainbow... in space?
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: a naked wizard
Phoemeister: hell yeah!
Phoemeister: only I'm so nerdy no one would realize I was doing it to be funny, they'd all think I did it becuase I seriously love fantasy/sci fi and feel bad for me
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: I would shower in a bathroom sporting that curtain!
Phoemeister: thank you!
Phoemeister: if I ever do get it
Suibrom: but be somewhat disturbed knowing you please yourself while looking at the naked wizard
Phoemeister: you will be my first guest to shower there
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I'll get a girl wizard
Suibrom: nice.. then I will also be able to please myself
Phoemeister: so that you can please yourself while thinking of me pleasing myself to a female wizard
Phoemeister: LOL
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: damn slow typing
Suibrom: I was thinking something like this
Suibrom: http://www.chinapage.com/painting/bamboo/wuzhen. jpg
Suibrom: without the writing
Suibrom: like.. take that.. and put it on a shower curtain
Phoemeister: I like that
Phoemeister: I do agree that the writing is not necessary
Suibrom: yeah
Phoemeister: I bet it says "fuck you, american pig!"
Suibrom: hahh
Phoemeister: I'd buy a curtain that said that in english, but no way would I buy a curtain that said that in foriegn
Suibrom: or on a shower curtain "I am masturbating while thinking about naked wizards behind here, do not be fooled by the tranquility of the bamboo"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: yes
Phoemeister: that is literally a very good idea
Suibrom: I should literally buy this shower curtain
Phoemeister: you should. literally.
Suibrom: I don't really like the bath set the suggest with it though
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&sku=106317
Suibrom: it's kind of cool
Suibrom: but I dunno
Suibrom: seems a little cheesy to have everything be made of bamboo with bamboo painted on it
Phoemeister: I really wish I did know japanese or chinese, and could really prove all those signs that say "serenity" or whatever next to them really mean "poop."
Phoemeister: yeah, I noticed that
Phoemeister: I was going to say I would disembowel you if you got the bamboo toothbrush holder to go with it
Phoemeister: but then I got on the whole fuck you american pig tangent
Suibrom: however.. that is not nearly as gay as the "surfer's dream" set
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=106660&RN=8
Phoemeister: the toothpaste holder blows my mind though
Phoemeister: it's shaped like bamboo
Phoemeister: WITH BAMBOO PRINTED ON IT
Suibrom: hahah
Suibrom: yeah
Phoemeister: but it's all pretty horrible
Phoemeister: roflmao at the surfer one
Suibrom: I hope I have enough curtain hooks for this thing
Suibrom: it looks like it takes a million
Phoemeister: I love how they have surf shack printed on the kleenex like you wouldn't figure out that's what it's supposed to be
Phoemeister: aww
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: "it's shaped like a shack, it has a thatched roof, and it has surfboards up against it....... I'm going with igloo"
Suibrom: I would have guessed wigwam
Phoemeister: the cup is pretty bad too
Phoemeister: I like the people swimming on the side
Phoemeister: wow, it took me like 8 minutes to realize that that one thing was a soap dish
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: I think all organized bath sets are pretty horrible though
Phoemeister: I mean, I don't think having all green or whatever is that bad
Phoemeister: but themes like surfing or bamboo I can do without
Suibrom: yeah I agree
Phoemeister: are there any other really horrible ones you've came across that you can link me?
Suibrom: yeah like all of them
Phoemeister: hahah
Phoemeister: well I just wanted to make fun of them some more
Phoemeister: I did know they're all horrible from every visit to every department store I've ever been in where they have those near the checkout
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=103777&RN=8
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=106276&RN=8
Suibrom: and because one surfing set isn't enough
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=105925&RN=8
Phoemeister: ewww
Phoemeister: the flower one like, isn't even funny
Phoemeister: it belongs in the house of an old woman who's lost the will to live
Suibrom: or because you go to the bathroom to fantasize about vacation and getting away from life
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?or der_num=-1&SKU=107472&RN=8
Suibrom: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/stylePage.asp?o rder_num=-1&RN=8
Suibrom: there's the list you can look through them
Phoemeister: haha, that one also says surf shack
Phoemeister: but I believe they need the label this time, because that one looks kind of like you would mistake it for "unabomber cabin" if there was nothing written
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: it's kind of hard to see
Suibrom: http://www.knopkadesign.com/gr/b-asian1.jpg
Suibrom: but that sink is awesome
Suibrom: it just looks like a bowl sitting on a shelf
Phoemeister: that's another one maybe I'd buy as a goof. Like, I'd have the bizarre naked wizard shower curtain, and then blow my nose with kleenex from the unabomber
Phoemeister: dude, that sink is badass
Suibrom: I would totally sport a sink like that
Phoemeister: I would literally sport a sink like that
Phoemeister: in my naked wizard unabomber bathroom
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: dude, I'm going to have the best bathroom ever
Phoemeister: it will be a pleasure to pee
Phoemeister: an experience to excrete
Suibrom: especially if you get one of those toilets that squirts a bit of warm water at you to clean you off afterwards
Phoemeister: DUDE
Phoemeister: you're right
Phoemeister: a bidet is totally what that setup was lacking
Phoemeister: but not anymore
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: nice
Phoemeister: I'm going to have the naked wizard unabomber ass squirting bathroom
Phoemeister: actually, as someone with serious diahrea problems, I think a bidet would be pretty cool
Suibrom: yeah that would totally eliminate the dingleberries
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: this is kind of cool too
Suibrom: http://i.walmart.com/i/p/00/08/97/86/37/000897863 7356_AV_500X500.jpg
Suibrom: but a little cluttered
Suibrom: and the bamboo looks like it's been cut up and thrown on the curtain
Phoemeister: I was more thinking "the chafing of roughly 5,000 wipes," but dingleberries sound cuter :P
Suibrom: instead of still growing
Phoemeister: I like the chopped off stuff
Phoemeister: I like to celebrate man's dominance over nature when I shower
Suibrom: it's a little too fancy for my bathroom I think
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: I think it would be pretty funny to have that in the middle of (now, this could be an unfair generalization, you actually seem like a pretty clean guy) a skanky-ass bachelor bathroom
Suibrom: haha
Suibrom: my bathroom is pretty clean
Phoemeister: plus you could never have mike over again
Suibrom: but it is somewhat bachelor-esque in that all my bath stuff is totally mis-matched
Phoemeister: something tells me Mike would get enraged if he had to stare at that while taking a crap
Suibrom: like.. I have a blue bath mat, a green and a brown towel, no shower curtain (excluding the one I just bought) just a liner, and no real "accessories" for around the sink or anything
Phoemeister: eh, that's better than girlying it up too bad with mini surf shacks and such
Suibrom: haha yeah
Suibrom: I'd like to make my apartment look a little nicer
Suibrom: and I'm kind of trying to work on it
Suibrom: I just don't have much in the way of decoration
Phoemeister: ah
Suibrom: I'm all function and no form
Phoemeister: I think you should buy like, a matching set of children's bathroom stuff
Phoemeister: like a spiderman bathroom
Suibrom: It's mostly clean.. but that's probably because it's mostly empty
Phoemeister: spiderman rug, spiderman bath curtain
Suibrom: haha
Phoemeister: green goblin toothbrush holder
Suibrom: I think my little pony would be better
Phoemeister: DUDE
Phoemeister: if you got a my little pony bathroom you would seriously be my hero
Suibrom: I really need to re-organize my living room
Phoemeister: I think a totally coordinated my little pony bathroom for a grown man would even out weird the unabomber/sexy wizard/bidet setup
Suibrom: like.. I have one of those big fold out tables being used as my computer desk/entertainment center
Suibrom: and it just looks tacky
Phoemeister: yeha, that sounds tacky
Suibrom: and I'm using a card table for an end table next to my couch : |
Suibrom: which is totally bachelor-esque
Suibrom: I have no dining room table, or coffee table
Suibrom: so my dining area is just this big open space
Suibrom: I'm thinking of turning it into a little like.. meditation corner though..
Phoemeister: lol
Suibrom: getting a nice mat, and some scrolls and stands and stuff
Phoemeister: ah
Suibrom: no I didn't just mean I'll go sit there and ponder it's emptiness
Suibrom: its
Phoemeister: yeah
Phoemeister: I was loling at the card table for an end table
Phoemeister: only belatedly
Suibrom: hehe yeah
Suibrom: that's pretty bad
Suibrom: but I have no other table to put stuff on when sitting on the couch
Suibrom: I need like a little end table, and a decent coffee table
Phoemeister: yeah
Suibrom: I was thinking of getting this
Suibrom: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?produc t_id=1762925&cat=133114&type=1&dept=4044 &path=0%3A4044%3A103150%3A4038%3A133 221%3A133114
Suibrom: it looks like it's really cool for storing stuff
Suibrom: I don't really like the wood though
Suibrom: like if that was in a cherry, or black.. i'd be all over it
Suibrom: of course once I had money
Phoemeister: I like it
Phoemeister: including wood
Phoemeister: that is the color of the wood on our kitchen table
Phoemeister: true story
Phoemeister: only we never see it because we always have a table cloth
Suibrom: yeah it looks kind of like my parents' kitchen table as well
Phoemeister: maybe that's why you don' like it
Suibrom: hmm
Suibrom: this is somewhat more tollerable for a matching bath set
Suibrom: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_2/60 1-3956889-3760901?%5Fencoding=UTF8&fromb rowse=1&asin=B000688QMA
Suibrom: though I still wouldn't probably not use the kleenex dispensor
Phoemeister: yeah. Well it's less gay in the fact that nothing could be as gay as the other sets you showed me
Phoemeister: but it is still gay in that it is a matching bath set
Suibrom: yeah that is inherently somewhat homosexual
Phoemeister: it is
Suibrom: It would be awesome to get some bath set that had chinese characters on it that said angry things like..
Suibrom: on the trash can "THIS IS FOR TRASH, NOT FOR POO"
Phoemeister: I think you should just get green or beige or something, so they don't clash but they aren't so gay
Suibrom: or on the cup "NOT FOR DRINKING!"
Phoemeister: LOL
Phoemeister: I enjoy that
Phoemeister: you shoul ddo that
Suibrom: and on the soap dish "WASH YOURSELF, YOU ARE FILTHY"
Phoemeister: ROFLMAO
Suibrom: see I'm tempted to get that bamboo set
Suibrom: but then just like.. not use anything but the trashcan
Phoemeister: http://www.target.com/gp/search.html/re f=sr_bx_1/601-8167153-7697730?field-keywo rds=gay&url=index%3Dtarget
Phoemeister: don't do it!
Phoemeister: it's horrible
Suibrom: hahah
Phoemeister: surprisingly, no bath sets
Suibrom: gay pride rhinestone collar though!
Phoemeister: true dat
Phoemeister: I think you would look hot in that
Suibrom: haha thanks
Suibrom: i'm surprised this didn't show up
Suibrom: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_2/60 1-3956889-3760901?%5Fencoding=UTF8&fromb rowse=1&asin=B00076HH8U
Phoemeister: also, you should buy the American Girl movie, because it's nice and gay too according to the search perameters
Suibrom: this is another tv-stand I was looking at getting
Suibrom: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?produc t_id=2138632&cat=133114&type=1&dept=4044 &path=0%3A4044%3A103150%3A4038%3A133 221%3A133114
Phoemeister: lol, no that's for a gay CHILD
Phoemeister: (the frogs)
Suibrom: but it seems to be lacking in storage space for things like a VCR and sound system
Phoemeister: I'm drawn to the turtle though