childrenswear

(this is in reference to a cafe press store Ryan has that includes, among other merchandise, a baby sleeper that says "fuckshitass")

Me: so I was thinking of another great product you should put in your cafe press store
Ryan: haha what?
Me: now you might get sued because I actually have seen this in grown up tee shirts
Me: but I think it would make great baby apparel
Me: "bitch, don't make me turn this rape into a murder"
Ryan: hahah :X
Ryan: A baby wearing that would be awesome
Me: that's what I'm saying!
Me: not that funny and actually kind of creepy on an adult male
Me: hilarious and cute on a baby!
Ryan: haha yes
Me: if I put that on my kid I would totally take tons of pictures and then show them to the kid when he/she was older
Me: "you were absolute gangsta when you were younger! what happened!?"
Ryan: "you were so hardcore.. now you're such a pussy"
Me: I'd love to drop my kid off in that at daycare
Me: you need to have children just so that you can try some of this shit
Ryan: haha
Ryan: I need to have kid to use them as my personal ad-space
Me: haha
Me: it would be awesome "Ryan has a big penis, and as you can see, my very presence is proof that he doesn't shoot blanks"
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: exactly
Ryan: "When I grow up, i'll have a really big wang like my dad's"
Me: haha and his shirt should have an arrow and you always have to stand next to him on that side
Me: just so they know who's the dad with the big penis
Ryan: haha
Ryan: "Baby Jesus ain't got nothin' on me!"
Me: LOL
Me: "I want to be a junkie when I grow up"
Ryan: haha then we can debunk that ad!
Ryan: "The bitches love me 'cause they know that I can ROCK"
Me: we really need to start a line of children's clothing
Ryan: haha I agree
Me: "Is your kid getting beaten up at school? By Phoe & Ryan's Xtreme Wear. No one messes with a kid that has "I'm going to shoot you then fuck the brain hole!" on his tee shirt!"
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: best baby-t ever
Me: thanks. I stole that from grosse pointe blank
Me: haha we could have a whole line of movie quote ones

"I'd tell you to blow it out your ass but my dick's in the way"
Ryan: that would make a good shirt
Me: Or, from Crank, "You haven't been tight since your brother fucked you in third grade"
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: that's good
Ryan: Hmm I need to work in something like.. "I can suck a nipple like you wouldn't believe" or something
Me: haha
Me: "Every day is girls gone wild when you breast feed"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: "I look better topless than you"
Ryan: or.. "Jealous that I can get away with not wearing pants?'
Me: we would be awesome childrens clothing line people
Ryan: haha I agree
Me: we've already came up with like 800 great ideas
Ryan: haha "I just came out of someone's uterus, what's your excuse?"
Me: "that came out of my butt!?!"
Ryan: haha
Me: oh and after that "I don't blame you if you abandon me now."
Me: oh do you know what you could also put your trademark phrase on a kid's outfit
Me: "Fucking you is like necrophilia because you're dead to me."
Ryan: haha that would be good
Ryan: random stuff like "I will punch you in the mouth" would be good too
Me: "your friends are really going to laugh when you have to tell them you were fucked up by a baby"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: "I may be small, but I can still kick YOUR ass"
Me: haha
Me: this is stealing Opt's schtick, but "if I had a nickel for every time someone's called me "cute" I would stick them in a sock and beat you with it"
Ryan: haha yeah
Me: "Suck on my junk"
Ryan: haha nice
Ryan: I dunno why I didn't think of that one
Ryan: "I killed a man with a trident"
Me: haha
Me: "my milkshake brings all the pedophiles to the yard"
Ryan: "Tricked into this lady's car with candy"
Me: haha
Me: "Stay away! I have Numchuk skills."
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I don't know why but I think "my lips hurt real bad" would be funny too
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: "Gimme some'a your tots!"