zombie wang

Me: Viking movie? Two thumbs dooooooooooooown
Me: actually it's not that horrible
Me: but I wouldn't pay for it
Ryan: yeah that's kind of how it looked
Me: haha the main guy is the angry mullet guy from Chronicles of Riddick
Ryan: haha nice
Ryan: I thought he looked familiar
Me: and he seems less angry, although you'd think he'd be more angry as vikings killed his whole village
Me: but it's definitely him
Me: he was strangely girly in this despite all the killing he did
Me: (link) doesn't that look kind of gay?
Ryan: haha just a little
Ryan: too much makeup
Me: I was like, "I believe you as an angry assasin, an angry mullet guy, but you seem kind of like a sad angry viking/native american adoptee"
Me: I kept expecting him to just scream, "leave me alone!" and go home and listen to dashboard confessional
Ryan: haha
Ryan: go cry some more!
Me: oh also he was shirtless about half the time
Ryan: well of course
Me: which, he really does not have the body for that
Ryan: they should have gottne one of the guys from 300 to do it
Me: haha, yeah, that was like, distractingly defined abs
Me: whereas this was distractingly flabby abs
Me: I demand a happy medium!
Ryan: haha
Me: I guess my favorite is when they wear shirts and I don't have to care
Ryan: they should just not wear pants
Ryan: solves the whole problem
Me: I'd be like, "finally, something for Phoexx0r!"
Ryan: haha exactly
Me: it could be the women's version of sin city
Ryan: haha nice
Ryan: Wang City
Me: there was a lot of ass in that movie
Me: like, a lot
Me: like so much that by the end it wasn't even distracting anymore
Me: I want to pay that spirit forward to penis


Me: unexpected wang is just not cool
Ryan: what if you knew about it
Ryan: like.. the movie was called "wang city"
Me: LOL
Ryan: and you went into it knowing there'd just be wang everywhere
Me: then I'd wear sunglasses and a headscarf on the way in
Ryan: haha
Ryan: and no pants


Me: I don't want that sort of wang experience
Me: I want a loving wang experience!
Ryan: haha
Ryan: The Wang Experience
Me: if possible directed by Robert Rodriguez
Ryan: haha
Ryan: what, with zombies?
Me: what about zombies?


Me: I love how your'e all, "it's really good" and I'm like no
Ryan: haha
Me: and then you're all, "it's got zombie wang," and I'm like, "sign me up!"
Ryan: haha
Me: I have my priorities straight
Ryan: zombie wang is high up there
Me: 1) Zombie Wang 2) Myself 3) My Country
Ryan: haha
Ryan: The Country of Phoe
Ryan: Population: 1
Ryan: Our biggest export is Poo