my little ponies are the devil

Me: we should just swap
Me: I'm your dad
Me: you're my mom
Me: your dad's my step uncle
Ryan: haha
Me: my mom's your half cousin once removed
Me: everyone wins
Me: and the best thing is you can tell your step uncle or half cousin once removed to shove it whenever you want
Ryan: haha true
Ryan: I'd be okay with that
Me: I would be a great father to you
Ryan: haha thanks
Ryan: and I'd be an awesome mother
Me: eat your vegetables! study hard! Be a man like me!
Me: you would
Me: you'd all nurture me and teach me how to wear makeup
Ryan: it's true
Me: "Phoexx0r, your first period is very special"
Ryan: blood! everywhere!
Me: haha
Ryan: YOU'RE DYING
Me: "OH MY GOD WHERE IS A DOCTOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: "That's just a way for god to punish sinners"
Me: haha
Me: "how have I sinned?"
"prancing those damned my little ponies all over the place like you own it"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: my little ponies are tools of the DEVIL
Me: haha "I invented elecricity! My little ponies are the devil